The Power of Manifestation Helped Me Get My Accessories Line On Nasty Gal
As entrepreneurs, often times the very things that we want is within our reach, but our thoughts keep us from being able to grab hold of them.
I recently learned about the true power of the law of attraction and manifesting the things I wanted into my life after my accessories line, Modern Day Hippie had it's official launch on NastyGal.com. Looking back I now realize that my journey of leaving a toxic corporate job and taking a huge leap of faith for my business helped to bring my dreams into reality, but at the time I didn't realize that my negative thinking was holding me back from seeing the full potential of my brand.
When I first started Modern Day Hippie, it was really just a passion project and creative outlet for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always sought to showcase my individuality through my clothes - specifically thrifted and vintage clothes. I love being able to take an item that was trendy 15 years ago and flip it to make it more modern. I have always considered myself the definition of a free spirit, and wanted my brand to reflect that. In 2014, I decided to pursue it as a side business and Modern Day Hippie was born.
Photo Credit: IG, Modern Day Hippie
What no one warned me about was how hard it would be trying to start a business while working full-time. Especially working full-time in a corporate environment for a large fashion company where people thrive on constantly crushing your light, personal dreams, and goals. I lost sight of why I really started Modern Day Hippie, instead, I unhappily focused on building someone else's dream. I suffered from depression and often times felt defeated. Right as I decided to make a change, I received an e-mail and the opportunity of a lifetime - an interview with the current CEO of Nasty Gal, Sheree Waterson. At the time, I just thought this would be another corporate interview since I had already went through three interviews for the Web Merchandiser position thatI applied for a few weeks prior. I had no idea that this day would change my life forever.
I didn't get the job, but I walked out with more fire and passion inside of me than ever before. Instead of talking about the job, we talked about the Law of Attraction and our favorite books. She mentioned that God plants success inside of us, but it is always up to the individual to tap into it. I had never had such a spiritual interview before and I knew that this was not a coincidence. The last words the CEO repeated to me as I walked out of her office were words that I was all too familiar with. They were words that have guided me my entire life: Failure is not an option.
Photo Credit: Modern Day Hippie
It was at this moment that I knew I had to stop making excuses and get to work.
Over the next six months, I experienced some of the hardest personal challenges I have ever had to endure. I left my job, a long-term romantic relationship, friendships, and the financial security I had grown so comfortable in. I didn't realize that God was removing everything out of my life that would not help me advance to the next level. It felt like my entire world was crashing down. Often times, I had no idea how I was going to pay my bills or where my next meal was going to come from. The only thing I knew was that I had a vision and that God was going to make it happen.
I won't lie, this was the scariest period of my entire life! I spent many nights up late worrying about my next move. Money was a major stress factor. Then one day I realized that by focusing on the negative, I was only going to attract negative energy into my life as the result of my own thoughts. In order for me to truly receive what I know I deserved, I had to completely change my entire mindset. I had to consciously choose to vibrate at a higher level. Everything I have ever received in life, it was because I believed in myself and manifested my biggest desires. I had to brainwash myself with so much positivity and light that there was no other choice but for me to succeed.
My vision board.
I even reached out to a Nasty Gal accessories buyer that I had met a couple of years prior through mutual friends and sent her an inspiration deck outlining my company, why I started it, and who I thought the Modern Day Hippie girl was. Initially I just wanted honest feedback from a buying perspective, but the last slide in my deck really hit her hard. It was a a breakdown of the meaning behind products I was currently working on, including the hats. I explained how I felt like there was a disconnect in my generation, specifically between spirituality and the urban community. I grew up in Atlanta and always felt like these were both two very important sides to me. However, I noticed that a lot of free spirited/spiritually based companies market to a very specific stereotype - it is a predominantly affluent, white, and older crowd (ex: Free People). I wanted to break the stereotype, cater to younger audience, and bridge the gap. You can be from a diverse ethnic background, love hip hop culture, be considered fashionable, and also choose to seek a higher meaning to life. You don't have to choose. I am all of these things and constantly seek to break out of any boxes society chooses to place me in. The buyer asked if we could have a meeting to discuss my brand in person and to bring samples. She reviewed my samples and I left the meeting feeling a sense of accomplishment.
In the meantime, I started to write out a weekly and monthly list of goals I wanted to achieve. I created a very specific and detailed vision board of everything I wanted to happen with Modern Day Hippie and my personal life. I practiced meditating more in times of fear and darkness. I only focused on the positive. I woke up every day thinking about Modern Day Hippie and went to bed thinking about how grateful I was to be present in this moment.
So when Nasty Gal reached out to me about hat designs that were intended to be a personal project, I knew that the power inside of me had reached a new level. I wanted to figure out a way to bring an element of spirituality and confidence to my brand, but still remain relevant to who I am as a person: fun, wild, and bold.
Fast forward to today, and my designs are live on the Nasty Gal site! This is exactly how I always knew it would happen.
I felt that I need to share this story because so many times I hear people doubt themselves and their God-given purpose. We have to know that greatness is inside all of us.
If you have an idea but don't know where to start, WRITE IT DOWN.
Write it down over and over until you begin to map out exactly how you're going to get there. I am not the richest person nor do I have all of the business knowledge, but I trusted my instincts and always bet on myself. You have to believe that you are going to be successful no matter what obstacles are put in your way. You have to embrace change and trust that there is always a bigger plan for you. God did not put a purpose on your life and intend for you to fail.
One of my favorite rappers of all time, Biggie Smalls, said it best:
"Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it, and live the phrase 'Sky's the Limit.'"
See you ladies on top.
Gabrielle Lopez is the Owner and Creative Director of the online e-commerce site, Modern Day Hippie.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images