The Power of Manifestation Helped Me Get My Accessories Line On Nasty Gal
As entrepreneurs, often times the very things that we want is within our reach, but our thoughts keep us from being able to grab hold of them.
I recently learned about the true power of the law of attraction and manifesting the things I wanted into my life after my accessories line, Modern Day Hippie had it's official launch on NastyGal.com. Looking back I now realize that my journey of leaving a toxic corporate job and taking a huge leap of faith for my business helped to bring my dreams into reality, but at the time I didn't realize that my negative thinking was holding me back from seeing the full potential of my brand.
When I first started Modern Day Hippie, it was really just a passion project and creative outlet for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always sought to showcase my individuality through my clothes - specifically thrifted and vintage clothes. I love being able to take an item that was trendy 15 years ago and flip it to make it more modern. I have always considered myself the definition of a free spirit, and wanted my brand to reflect that. In 2014, I decided to pursue it as a side business and Modern Day Hippie was born.
Photo Credit: IG, Modern Day Hippie
What no one warned me about was how hard it would be trying to start a business while working full-time. Especially working full-time in a corporate environment for a large fashion company where people thrive on constantly crushing your light, personal dreams, and goals. I lost sight of why I really started Modern Day Hippie, instead, I unhappily focused on building someone else's dream. I suffered from depression and often times felt defeated. Right as I decided to make a change, I received an e-mail and the opportunity of a lifetime - an interview with the current CEO of Nasty Gal, Sheree Waterson. At the time, I just thought this would be another corporate interview since I had already went through three interviews for the Web Merchandiser position thatI applied for a few weeks prior. I had no idea that this day would change my life forever.
I didn't get the job, but I walked out with more fire and passion inside of me than ever before. Instead of talking about the job, we talked about the Law of Attraction and our favorite books. She mentioned that God plants success inside of us, but it is always up to the individual to tap into it. I had never had such a spiritual interview before and I knew that this was not a coincidence. The last words the CEO repeated to me as I walked out of her office were words that I was all too familiar with. They were words that have guided me my entire life: Failure is not an option.
Photo Credit: Modern Day Hippie
It was at this moment that I knew I had to stop making excuses and get to work.
Over the next six months, I experienced some of the hardest personal challenges I have ever had to endure. I left my job, a long-term romantic relationship, friendships, and the financial security I had grown so comfortable in. I didn't realize that God was removing everything out of my life that would not help me advance to the next level. It felt like my entire world was crashing down. Often times, I had no idea how I was going to pay my bills or where my next meal was going to come from. The only thing I knew was that I had a vision and that God was going to make it happen.
I won't lie, this was the scariest period of my entire life! I spent many nights up late worrying about my next move. Money was a major stress factor. Then one day I realized that by focusing on the negative, I was only going to attract negative energy into my life as the result of my own thoughts. In order for me to truly receive what I know I deserved, I had to completely change my entire mindset. I had to consciously choose to vibrate at a higher level. Everything I have ever received in life, it was because I believed in myself and manifested my biggest desires. I had to brainwash myself with so much positivity and light that there was no other choice but for me to succeed.
My vision board.
I even reached out to a Nasty Gal accessories buyer that I had met a couple of years prior through mutual friends and sent her an inspiration deck outlining my company, why I started it, and who I thought the Modern Day Hippie girl was. Initially I just wanted honest feedback from a buying perspective, but the last slide in my deck really hit her hard. It was a a breakdown of the meaning behind products I was currently working on, including the hats. I explained how I felt like there was a disconnect in my generation, specifically between spirituality and the urban community. I grew up in Atlanta and always felt like these were both two very important sides to me. However, I noticed that a lot of free spirited/spiritually based companies market to a very specific stereotype - it is a predominantly affluent, white, and older crowd (ex: Free People). I wanted to break the stereotype, cater to younger audience, and bridge the gap. You can be from a diverse ethnic background, love hip hop culture, be considered fashionable, and also choose to seek a higher meaning to life. You don't have to choose. I am all of these things and constantly seek to break out of any boxes society chooses to place me in. The buyer asked if we could have a meeting to discuss my brand in person and to bring samples. She reviewed my samples and I left the meeting feeling a sense of accomplishment.
In the meantime, I started to write out a weekly and monthly list of goals I wanted to achieve. I created a very specific and detailed vision board of everything I wanted to happen with Modern Day Hippie and my personal life. I practiced meditating more in times of fear and darkness. I only focused on the positive. I woke up every day thinking about Modern Day Hippie and went to bed thinking about how grateful I was to be present in this moment.
So when Nasty Gal reached out to me about hat designs that were intended to be a personal project, I knew that the power inside of me had reached a new level. I wanted to figure out a way to bring an element of spirituality and confidence to my brand, but still remain relevant to who I am as a person: fun, wild, and bold.
Fast forward to today, and my designs are live on the Nasty Gal site! This is exactly how I always knew it would happen.
I felt that I need to share this story because so many times I hear people doubt themselves and their God-given purpose. We have to know that greatness is inside all of us.
If you have an idea but don't know where to start, WRITE IT DOWN.
Write it down over and over until you begin to map out exactly how you're going to get there. I am not the richest person nor do I have all of the business knowledge, but I trusted my instincts and always bet on myself. You have to believe that you are going to be successful no matter what obstacles are put in your way. You have to embrace change and trust that there is always a bigger plan for you. God did not put a purpose on your life and intend for you to fail.
One of my favorite rappers of all time, Biggie Smalls, said it best:
"Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it, and live the phrase 'Sky's the Limit.'"
See you ladies on top.
Gabrielle Lopez is the Owner and Creative Director of the online e-commerce site, Modern Day Hippie.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images