How I'm Cultivating Better Self-Love Through Yoni Egg Practice
I miscarried last year and it was one of the most devastating life occurrences I ever experienced. It surprised me how much it affected my day to day, my self-esteem, and my feelings of being capable of doing what I am supposed to be capable of doing as a woman. I did not even know I wanted a child until I realized one had been lost. The timing was more than wrong, so I deemed fate as a factor. But still, logic didn't counter the emotions I harbored about miscarrying. I felt broken to the point of no repair and the way I spoke to myself, looked at myself, and how I felt about myself mirrored that rupture.
I had no self-love to give to my self because I no longer vibed with the woman I was due to the overwhelming sense of failure I felt.
Self love is one of those things that you must learn and relearn every day and having a bevy of self care practices to help reinforce those lessons is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I am constantly on the hunt to find practices that help me connect with myself as a woman, and in turn, love myself more. When the opportunity to work with The Organic Blood Yoni Eggs company came into the picture, I deemed it as another act of fate. I had heard about yoni eggs especially amongst women who were more spiritually connected with their inner feminine spaces. I felt it was what I needed in my time of feeling less than and not feeling at all like a being of love.
Tiffany Janay, owner and founder of The Organic Blood Yoni Eggs company, assured me that Yoni Eggs are a tool to be used as a beacon of self love during the journey to connecting with your innermost you. That appealed to me.
“The womb space as a woman is our most powerful space. We are the creators of the world. It is our power that has brought all of this into fruition. That's why it's called Mother Earth because it is the feminine energy that gives birth to things."
Yoni is a Sanskrit word for “vagina," and the eggs are semi-precious stones that come directly from the earth, which is where they pull their magical and powerful energies from. Similar to the way you use herbs for their properties, these semi-precious stones possess similar properties. They are polished up and shaped for internal use and each one has different properties intended to heal us from within.
Yoni eggs are excellent “teachers" and can help you with strengthening your vaginal muscles through Kegel exercises and will result in your vagina tightening. It also assists with the strengthening of the uterine wall and assists women with bladder control and can make your sex life more fire. I was also informed that due to its energy, if you were to have sex with your partner while the egg was still inside of you, it'd feel something like a threesome between you, your bae, and another person. It was the aspect of energy I was drawn to.
I was looking forward to having the egg help me on my journey to love me better and feel like a woman again, since I no longer felt that bond with my womb, as I felt betrayed. It was fitting that the egg I used was Rose Quartz. It's known for its healing properties of love, self love, compassion, forgiveness, romance, and intimacy. Things I needed to work on since experiencing my loss. I needed help, I needed some sort of guidance that would help me with looking within for the self-love I used to refer to as abundant.
It was a little intimidating at first – I'm not going to lie – especially when you think about putting the larger part in first. As a woman, there are certain things you grant access to entry in your body and a semi-precious stone isn't one of them so I took my time with that part. I carried it around with me in my bra everyday for about a week to get acquainted with it and its energy as Janay suggested.
After cleansing it and charging it with my intention (“to love myself more"), I massaged it and myself with some coconut oil, and promptly inserted it into my yoni. In all honesty, it's difficult to put into words how using this egg makes me feel. I don't know if it's a power of thought or how I feel about spirituality in general, but I do think having this tool to channel my energetic efforts towards positive thought has helped me feel more connected to myself and talk to myself in a more forgiving manner.
I use it once a day for about half an hour and use a warm bath to help with channeling it out of my body. Some women use it all day, some use it during sex – I am not quite there yet lol, but I enjoy my twice a week nightly routine with it. Being touched by that good energy is something that radiates. It's in the glow of my skin, the strut of my step, how I relate to other people, but more importantly how I relate to Sheriden (me). I punished myself for far too long for something that is a part of life.
Of our feminine power, Janay says, “Being confident in yourself and getting to know yourself. I think a lot of us are lacking confidence because we don't have a strong foundation, history, and connection to our feminine power. Being born in the feminine, you already come from something powerful."
Learn more about Yoni Eggs here.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
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Featured image by Sir Taylor