How I Plan To Survive My Family's Interrogation At The Dinner Table This Thankgsiving
At this stage in my life holiday gatherings are a bit of a chore.
I feel like I’m at a place where I’m not up to par with my family’s expectations of where I should be in life.
I’m 24 with no husband, no kids, in an entry-level career, and am still renting.
While this sounds like your typical millennial, I come from a line of overachievers who had their shit together early in life, and therefore, I am behind.
Normal families sit and talk/argue about politics, religion, and current events over turkey and mashed potatoes. My family does too, but we also like to play the classic game of “21 Questions”, aka “21 Ways in Which You’re Failing at Life”:
Are you seeing anyone?
NO.
Are you looking for someone?
NO.
Do you plan on getting married?
Maybe … Eventually … IDK honestly.
Are you gay?
NO.
How are your grades?
PASS.
You still trying to make it with that liberal arts degree?
Yes, I write for some sites here and there.
Do you plan to find a real job?
I’m working on it.
You can’t possibly plan to stay in that one-bedroom forever …
It’s just fine for me for now.
Which segways into “Unsolicited Life Advice From Grandma,” as she tells me that maybe if I spent more time trying to find a husband that maybe I wouldn’t have to bust my ass working, because then he could work and provide for the family and I could stay at home with the kids.
(I reply that kids aren’t in the ten year plan, which is met with a judgmental “hmmmph”).
Then we have “Successful Lawyer Uncle Who Is a Walking LinkedIn Profile” wanting to tell me how I should consider getting my Ph.D so I can be a real contender in today’s job market, all the while neglecting to offer any financial assistance with such an endeavor.
We follow up with the “Four Time Divorcee” cousin with four kids who feels that it is my duty as a woman to consider giving birth before the age of 40. She leaves out the part about her heading to court for every child she had after every failed marriage. But that's none of my business.
Each family member offers their two cents on how I can improve my life, even though I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot throughout the year, and have many goals and plans ahead, sometimes it feels as though I’ll never check off all of the feats on the list of life goals my family has set for me.
This year, I'm taking a new approach to the dinner table interrogation. I will no longer allow my family to make me feel like a failure.
Recently, I sat down and wrote out a long list of every positive thing I have going on in my life that I should be proud of. That list will be top of mind on Thanksgiving as I sit down at the dinner table in prepare for the interrogation. I will answer every question that seems to be pessimistic with optimism and excitement, and stand firm by the decisions I've made in life thus far. I plan to show my family that I have plans and goals in line, but that I’m moving at a pace that I’m comfortable with.
Most of all, I plan to show them that I am happy and making it!
I’ve gotten my finances together, paid off some loans, written for some dream magazines of mine, and have found my true passion AND my purpose (educating others through storytelling). I’ve made great connections in my industry, and the opportunities I’ve gotten within the past year have far exceeded my expectations. While I may not have reached every goal that was set by me, I’m proud of the fact that I can feel my growth spiritually, personally, and professionally.
[Tweet "I can feel my growth spiritually, personally, and professionally."]
A husband, child, career, and family of my own are all possibilities in the future, but right now I'm in no rush to acquire those things just to appease other people. I’m taking everything one step at of time without putting pressure on myself to live life on someone else's timeline.
Do you get those annoying life questions during the holidays? Share yours below!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why You Should Implement The Closing Shift Cleaning Hack Into Your Daily Routine
A new cleaning hack could allow you to do away with Saturday cleaning altogether because your house is already tidy. Closing shift cleaning is a viral trend originally named by influencer Clara Pierce, who shared with her followers how she keeps her apartment clean and how that leads to productivity and a better overall experience in her apartment daily.
"Whenever I'm really trying to set myself up for success for the next day, I close up my apartment like I'm closing a shift at work. Sometimes, the closing shift involves cleaning my entire apartment, and other times, it involves cleaning it 10% to make sure that it's better for the next day," Pierce shared with her followers.
The Closing Shift Cleaning Hack
@clararpeirce goodnight 😴🫶🏼 #closingshift #closingshiftcleaning #nightroutine
The closing shift video has garnered over 3.8 million views, and the hashtag #closingshiftcleaning now has over 71.3 million views, proving that TikTok users are benefiting from this cleaning trend. Now that we've entered the spring equinox, I applied this trend to my own home and discovered that spending an hour tidying my home daily versus having days where I clean for hours was far more productive.
The day-to-day ways that your home can become messy with dirty dishes, clothes, boxes from packages, etc., can easily create an environment that isn't conducive to rest. My home is my sanctuary, and with a busy schedule, making time on the weekends for one big clean wasn't giving me the experience that I needed in my home.
But taking the time every night before I went to bed to clean allowed me to wake up in an environment that not only looks good but feels good for my space and my mind. It also helped me to develop a routine to clean my dog's food and drink bowls nightly so that he was also benefiting from the closing shift routine, as the FDA recommends washing pet food bowls and utensils "after each use" and cleaning water bowls daily.
Decluttering experts such as Rebekah of Organize for Love have shared similar organization skills across social media platforms and through their offerings for those looking to organize their homes and lives. In this Instagram post, she discusses the importance of scheduled decluttering as well as having a routine to clean.
Have you tried the closing shift cleaning hack for your daily routine, or are you team "get somebody else to do it" with a weekly housekeeper? Please sound off in the comments, and let's get to cleaning.
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Featured image by Rockaa/Getty Images