How I Learned To Love My Small Breasts
I remember back in the 10th grade when two girls joked about the size of my small breasts. "What will your boyfriend play with?" They asked me maliciously while palming their own overtly abundant breasts. Their words were internalized. Even more recently, a friend of mine off-handedly referred to them as "tiny" while conversing about the kind of bras we preferred. I don't think she realized how damaging her choice of words were, but thankfully the woman in me has matured to a point where I can quiet the insecurities of the little girl who once felt like her A-cup was not enough, that small breasts made her less of a woman, and the idea that men wouldn't fantasize or lust after her petite body.
Oftentimes, it's not you who makes you feel bad about your body, it's the opinions and desires of others that you internalize to the point that it plagues your self-esteem and reopens wounds that haven't quite healed. It sucks. I can pinpoint every single time I've felt badly about my body. More times than most, it was by other women.
I don't remember exactly what age my breasts began to grow, but I remember that swollen feeling that made my chest particularly tender at the time. I remember anticipating in delight at how big of a transformation I'd hope it be in contrast to my flat, prepubescent chest. I knew a girl in my elementary school who seemed to go through her life changes at an incredibly rapid pace. Her breasts had to at least be a full C cup, and she expressed stories of how excruciating her cramps were because her period had already started. Listening to her stories made me feel behind this mature preteen.
I saw women who were older than me whose chests were different from that of a man. I wanted that. I wanted bountiful curves, but I knew my day would come. So when I felt that tenderness, as I said, I was excited. My time was here.
However, it differed completely from stories I heard from classmates who said their breasts grew overnight. I'd go to sleep and wake up relatively the same size. And in the year or two that passed, the growth was very gradual until it just stopped. I was a full A--no more, no less. I was displeased. They weren't big at all. All the stories I heard didn't match up to my own experience and I felt less than myself, less than who I was supposed to be. Of course, the very clichéd tried and true revelation of stuffing my bra became a reality for me in high school. Stuffing didn't do much, but somehow it did something for my self-esteem to appear to have shapelier breasts. It was some time after those girls made their comments to me in our math class that I started adding the extra padding, and for a while I felt better.
I wasn't too concerned about what would happen when the cat was out of the bag so to speak, because although I was interested in sex, I was nowhere near having it. For the moment it did the trick with my confidence in the way I looked. I remember the day when I got caught, though; it was the first real conversation I had with my mother. She took me to get a physical, and as the doctor was examining my breasts (bra-on mind you) my mother could see a glimpse of something white slipping out of my bra. I was mortified. Later on that day, she asked, “Why do you stuff your bra Sheriden?"
I honestly didn't know how to put it into words why, but I am grateful that the moment happened because it forced me to begin to come to terms that this was my body, and I'd have to make peace with it. We went bra shopping shortly thereafter and got bras that made me feel better about my 34A cup size. Pretty, lacy, dainty things have a way of making you feel much more at home in your body, it's an undeniable fact. I relied heavily on bras with plenty of padding to achieve the shape that I wanted.
My first love led me to falling in love with them for what they were without padding. He was my first for many things, and through his love I began to see the beauty in myself. For a long time, I was programmed to think that there was no desire or likeability in having small breasts. He proved me wrong and then some. A man doesn't necessarily care if he cares for you. I grew more confident from it. I said goodbye to padding for good, the least amount the better. I grew to love their shape, their perkiness, the way they are the perfect handful, how sensitive they are to touch, how great it feels to have them grabbed, groped, and suckled. I began to see them for what they are versus for what they aren't and found beauty in that. I no longer settled; I loved them.
I spent so much of my pubescent life being insecure because of what other women told me was wrong about myself.
I was so caught up in their perception of me that I didn't consider my own perception. Insecurities for the most part, remain dormant, usually just the slightest of whispers when doubt enters the room. However, those whispers can turn into screams given the right ammunition and for me, realizing that there were no truth to the venom-laced words I had heard throughout my teenage years granted me access to tapping into the inner confidence that was always there.
My A-cup was and is enough. It's easy to internalize all the things you feel are wrong about you, but instead of that, I challenge you to love yourself for who you are and how you are.
As cliché as it might be, everyone's already taken so why not be yourself and love yourself a little harder because of that truth? I know I've definitely learned to, and I can finally say that I'm happy with being me.
What's something about your body that you had to make peace with and learn to love? Share your experiences with me below!
Featured image by Shutterstock
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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6 Flexible Entry-Level Remote Careers That Truly Require No Experience
It’s always frustrating when you’re new to the job market, transitioning into something new, or you’ve taken a few gap years to care for children, and a so-called entry-level opportunity actually requires experience. If you’ve just graduated from your program or you’ve been working in another field for years, how is this possible?
Well, there are job opportunities, according to the experts at FlexJobs, that require no experience and are perfect for those who are looking to make a change or are new to an industry or role. And many of these roles are fully remote, allowing you to make money while at home (or almost anywhere in some cases.)
Here are six remote jobs that require little to no experience to help you get an idea of where to start:
1. Administrative
According to FlexJobs, there’s a demand for virtual and executive assistants who can provide support to others using the transferable skills they’ve learned either working in another industry or that they’ve been trained to do in college or a trade school. These roles require “clear communication skills and efficiency will impress potential clients and employers.” And the fun factor: You can choose what type of company or type of assistance work you want to do, oftentimes can set your own hours, and if you find purpose in helping a visionary reach their vision, this is a hit.
2. Language & Translation
Working as a translator involves “translating verbal files into written documents, using video to interpret virtually, or proofreading and cleaning up translated files.” You can also use these skills in education or for corporate communications, so if you have certifications or you’re fluent in multiple languages, this might be a good fit.
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3. Social Media
We all know social media is here to stay, and there are lucrative ways to leverage. Brands and larger companies need passionate professionals to manage their pages, automate posts, or provide strategy, and while some professionals bring marketing degrees to these jobs, this industry is wide open for those who have skills in using popular platforms, videography, art direction, and creative voice.
4. Sales
For those who have worked in retail, have a natural gift of gab, or are motivated by the hustle, this career lane is a hit, especially when it comes to online sales jobs. Some entry-level sales positions involve working in a call center, but if you’re able to sell your transferable skills well, you can apply for sales jobs at various companies with experience from another field or a college degree from a CG in a call center environment and either taking inbound calls or making outbound calls in order to sell a product or service.
5. Customer Service
While this one can get a bad rap, it’s a great opportunity for someone looking for a change who loves serving others. Oftentimes, you can find gigs that are web-based, and several openings require no previous customer service experience. There’s also potential for growth and thriving in customer service if you’re great at sales and you land a gig at a company that rewards meeting goals every month or year. Skills in communication, typing, and professional conflict resolution are valuable in this field.
6. Travel & Hospitality
Jobs like being a travel agent allow you to help vacationers and corporate leaders alike plan, book, and troubleshoot trips, whether for business or pleasure. You can also find opportunities to work for a hotel or resort or even for small businesses that specialize in offering Airbnbs. For this job, you’ll typically need to have “good people skills and the ability to easily learn new software programs.”
Find out more about remote jobs where you need little to no experience via FlexJobs or follow them on Instagram.
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