GOAL-Digger: Here's Why Tiffney Cambridge Is More Than Just A "Rapper's Ex"
Tiffney Cambridge might just be bringing the "modest woman" back in style. Not that they ever went anywhere, and not that the worlds between role models and "Instagram models" can't co-exist, but with the way social media and reality TV is set up these days, it's as if being a woman with a few values is the equivalent of a major fashion faux-pas.
I recently had the chance to speak to Ms. Cambridge--teacher, author and the only woman to ever publicly own the rights to the notoriously bad-boy bachelor and rapper, "The Game's," heart. As always, a talk with Tiff is always a "break-out-the-wine, keep it real but keep it cute at the same time," experience, and this moment was no different.
In between getting off work and picking the kids up from school, the lovely Ms. Cambridge opened up about her split from The Game (real name: Jayceon Taylor), as well as her life as a career woman, and the importance of having her your own. She also responded to The Game's most recent claims that all the good women are too busy working, and his track with rapper Future called 'Dedicated,' and much more.
It's safe to say, she set the bar high for who The Game will ultimately end up with.
Check it out below:
How important is it to you--both as an author and as a teacher of course and a businesswoman overall--to have a career although you do have this support and help from your children's father, The Game?
I think it is very important. I have been teaching for 18 years. And even though Jayceon and I have had a relationship for the past 11, I never stopped working. Even when I was doing the reality show Marrying the Game, and I had that extra income, I never stopped working. Even when things were good between the two of us, I never stopped working. And I think now that we're not together, you can clearly see why that's important!
You have to establish your own identity. You have to be able to create your own income. You have to be able to take care of yourself.
It has always been important to me to be self-sufficient, my mother raised me that way. My grandmother raised my mother that way--to never depend on a man to provide everything for you. Because then what if you find yourself in a situation where you are no longer with that man, it's like, then what do you do? Even though I'm not in a situation where I'm in a relationship with my child's father, I'm still able to maintain my lifestyle.
Speaking of working, I don't know if you heard, but Jayceon recently gave a shoutout to the independent woman, while implying that he's still single because, "All the real women are in the workplace," when he went on The Breakfast Club. What are your thoughts on him saying that?
I think it's interesting. Knowing Jayceon and the type of person that he is, knowing the type of women that he deals and has dealt with in the past, he is not going to be interested past a certain visual or past maybe a fling with any woman that is not really career minded or career oriented.
Game on his new dating show, 'She's Got Game'
"He'll play with you. Have a couple of dates with you, maybe give you a little exposure by means of dating you or whatever. But that's where it is going to stop with him. I don't think he takes women seriously period, in my opinion. He is named 'Game' for a reason."
I feel he is very attractive and very marketable to a certain extent for women that are interested in living that type of lifestyle, the rock and roll lifestyle for lack of a better word. But I feel also that he doesn't, at all, take 95 percent of the women he dates seriously. It's a joke to him.
As a matter of fact, one time, we were in a conversation about his choices in women, and he told me, 'These women to me are like dishrags. I wipe my forehead off with them, I wipe my counter off with them, and then I'm done with them.' That was really what he said. And I think his behavior towards the women that he associates himself with are very indicative of that.
The women that I have known him to be respectful towards or to be serious about, I can name them on one hand. And they're none of the women that we have seen him out lately with.
You did say, though, that you feel it is difficult for him to get close to any woman. Do you feel there is a flaw in his "the real woman are in the workplace" concept? Because sometimes passing time with certain women makes you pass on a good opportunity.
I agree. He has had the privilege of traveling all around and so the access and the availability of women to him is there. And I think that it takes a level of strength, and a level of discipline and maturity to be able to say, 'Yes, you're pretty, and yes you have a nice body; however, this is what I have at home,' and I'm not sure, at this point, if he's at that level in his growth process.
As a career woman, how true do you think it is that sometimes we do get in our own way of dating? For example, have you been able to find a balance between career and dating? And how important do you think it is for women to find a balance?
Tiffany with her daughter, Cali
I think that for me, I may be a little guilty of that, because since the book has been out, and I have a full-time job and I am a full-time mother, my time for dating is limited.
My goal right now is to be a positive role model to my five-year-old daughter (Calilynn Dream Taylor), to my eight-year-old son (King Justice Taylor) and to be there for them. I also have 30 kids [students] looking at me every day. They look to me for an example. So sometimes you do get caught up in that and you forgot about yourself and you forget about going out and seeing what other opportunities there are for you.
I think that we as women our lives are programmed when we have kids and when we work. It's just like doing the same thing every single day and you do lose yourself, but it is important to take some out for yourself and to really just enjoy yourself and to enjoy life and enjoy other relationships.
So Game has this song with Future called, "Dedicated." And we all feel it is about the lovely Ms. Tiffney. It's not a bad song, but it is a "strong" song and an emotional one to say the least. He does allude to the fact that you may be dating now. Are you? And what is that like for you, being a mother who is about her business who also co-parents and dates?
I think the insinuation that Jayceon made about the song was just really trying to compare his situation to Future's situation [with Ciara]. They're friends and colleagues and he can see probably a similarity with the direction that Ciara moved in and the direction that I would move in. And I feel that is where the song came.
"I commend Ciara for being able to step out of a situation with her child's father, a man that she had a child with and was obviously in love with, but the lifestyle wasn't for her. So she went from Future to this man that has values, and has morals, and that respects her.
I feel like that is Jayceon's perception of what will end up happening in our relationship.
That was a very nice answer. I like that--I see what you did there.
[laughs] Yes ma'am to Ciara! I have them posted on my Instagram, very royally. Because I feel that is exactly what should happen. I think when you go through a situation that is very unbecoming of you, very unbecoming of the lifestyle that you want for yourself and for your child or children, and then you are able to come out of that and put yourself and align yourself who is more in tuned with that you feel is appropriate in a relationship-- you go girl! And that is all I have to say about that!
When you have been in a relationship for a long period of time, you know what another person deserves. You know what they are capable of having. You know what they are able to attract. So I think the knowledge of that lead Jayceon to create the song with Future. I think the references to me validate my point. He knows what my expectations are in a relationship and you're going to either meet them or not. And that's it.
(Go to page 2 to find out what Tiffney had to say about being referred to The Game's "older ex," not believing in fighting for a man and what's next for her!)
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images