GOAL-Digger: Here's Why Tiffney Cambridge Is More Than Just A "Rapper's Ex"
Tiffney Cambridge might just be bringing the "modest woman" back in style. Not that they ever went anywhere, and not that the worlds between role models and "Instagram models" can't co-exist, but with the way social media and reality TV is set up these days, it's as if being a woman with a few values is the equivalent of a major fashion faux-pas.
I recently had the chance to speak to Ms. Cambridge--teacher, author and the only woman to ever publicly own the rights to the notoriously bad-boy bachelor and rapper, "The Game's," heart. As always, a talk with Tiff is always a "break-out-the-wine, keep it real but keep it cute at the same time," experience, and this moment was no different.
In between getting off work and picking the kids up from school, the lovely Ms. Cambridge opened up about her split from The Game (real name: Jayceon Taylor), as well as her life as a career woman, and the importance of having her your own. She also responded to The Game's most recent claims that all the good women are too busy working, and his track with rapper Future called 'Dedicated,' and much more.
It's safe to say, she set the bar high for who The Game will ultimately end up with.
Check it out below:
How important is it to you--both as an author and as a teacher of course and a businesswoman overall--to have a career although you do have this support and help from your children's father, The Game?
I think it is very important. I have been teaching for 18 years. And even though Jayceon and I have had a relationship for the past 11, I never stopped working. Even when I was doing the reality show Marrying the Game, and I had that extra income, I never stopped working. Even when things were good between the two of us, I never stopped working. And I think now that we're not together, you can clearly see why that's important!
You have to establish your own identity. You have to be able to create your own income. You have to be able to take care of yourself.
It has always been important to me to be self-sufficient, my mother raised me that way. My grandmother raised my mother that way--to never depend on a man to provide everything for you. Because then what if you find yourself in a situation where you are no longer with that man, it's like, then what do you do? Even though I'm not in a situation where I'm in a relationship with my child's father, I'm still able to maintain my lifestyle.
Speaking of working, I don't know if you heard, but Jayceon recently gave a shoutout to the independent woman, while implying that he's still single because, "All the real women are in the workplace," when he went on The Breakfast Club. What are your thoughts on him saying that?
I think it's interesting. Knowing Jayceon and the type of person that he is, knowing the type of women that he deals and has dealt with in the past, he is not going to be interested past a certain visual or past maybe a fling with any woman that is not really career minded or career oriented.
Game on his new dating show, 'She's Got Game'
"He'll play with you. Have a couple of dates with you, maybe give you a little exposure by means of dating you or whatever. But that's where it is going to stop with him. I don't think he takes women seriously period, in my opinion. He is named 'Game' for a reason."
I feel he is very attractive and very marketable to a certain extent for women that are interested in living that type of lifestyle, the rock and roll lifestyle for lack of a better word. But I feel also that he doesn't, at all, take 95 percent of the women he dates seriously. It's a joke to him.
As a matter of fact, one time, we were in a conversation about his choices in women, and he told me, 'These women to me are like dishrags. I wipe my forehead off with them, I wipe my counter off with them, and then I'm done with them.' That was really what he said. And I think his behavior towards the women that he associates himself with are very indicative of that.
The women that I have known him to be respectful towards or to be serious about, I can name them on one hand. And they're none of the women that we have seen him out lately with.
You did say, though, that you feel it is difficult for him to get close to any woman. Do you feel there is a flaw in his "the real woman are in the workplace" concept? Because sometimes passing time with certain women makes you pass on a good opportunity.
I agree. He has had the privilege of traveling all around and so the access and the availability of women to him is there. And I think that it takes a level of strength, and a level of discipline and maturity to be able to say, 'Yes, you're pretty, and yes you have a nice body; however, this is what I have at home,' and I'm not sure, at this point, if he's at that level in his growth process.
As a career woman, how true do you think it is that sometimes we do get in our own way of dating? For example, have you been able to find a balance between career and dating? And how important do you think it is for women to find a balance?
Tiffany with her daughter, Cali
I think that for me, I may be a little guilty of that, because since the book has been out, and I have a full-time job and I am a full-time mother, my time for dating is limited.
My goal right now is to be a positive role model to my five-year-old daughter (Calilynn Dream Taylor), to my eight-year-old son (King Justice Taylor) and to be there for them. I also have 30 kids [students] looking at me every day. They look to me for an example. So sometimes you do get caught up in that and you forgot about yourself and you forget about going out and seeing what other opportunities there are for you.
I think that we as women our lives are programmed when we have kids and when we work. It's just like doing the same thing every single day and you do lose yourself, but it is important to take some out for yourself and to really just enjoy yourself and to enjoy life and enjoy other relationships.
So Game has this song with Future called, "Dedicated." And we all feel it is about the lovely Ms. Tiffney. It's not a bad song, but it is a "strong" song and an emotional one to say the least. He does allude to the fact that you may be dating now. Are you? And what is that like for you, being a mother who is about her business who also co-parents and dates?
I think the insinuation that Jayceon made about the song was just really trying to compare his situation to Future's situation [with Ciara]. They're friends and colleagues and he can see probably a similarity with the direction that Ciara moved in and the direction that I would move in. And I feel that is where the song came.
"I commend Ciara for being able to step out of a situation with her child's father, a man that she had a child with and was obviously in love with, but the lifestyle wasn't for her. So she went from Future to this man that has values, and has morals, and that respects her.
I feel like that is Jayceon's perception of what will end up happening in our relationship.
That was a very nice answer. I like that--I see what you did there.
[laughs] Yes ma'am to Ciara! I have them posted on my Instagram, very royally. Because I feel that is exactly what should happen. I think when you go through a situation that is very unbecoming of you, very unbecoming of the lifestyle that you want for yourself and for your child or children, and then you are able to come out of that and put yourself and align yourself who is more in tuned with that you feel is appropriate in a relationship-- you go girl! And that is all I have to say about that!
When you have been in a relationship for a long period of time, you know what another person deserves. You know what they are capable of having. You know what they are able to attract. So I think the knowledge of that lead Jayceon to create the song with Future. I think the references to me validate my point. He knows what my expectations are in a relationship and you're going to either meet them or not. And that's it.
(Go to page 2 to find out what Tiffney had to say about being referred to The Game's "older ex," not believing in fighting for a man and what's next for her!)
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images