‘Insecure’ Actor Sarunas J. Jackson Talks Life After Dro And What He Looks for In Love
Tall, outspoken, and handsome!
Those are just three words that can describe one of the newest faces on Season 2 of Insecure. Sarunas J. Jackson, the proud Panamanian-bred, Philly-native who is better known as Dro, Molly's smooth-talking, openly-married childhood friend, stands at a solid 6'8 ½''and definitely made our heads turn. But it wasn't just his athletic build or pearl-clutching sex scenes that had us intrigued. Jackson is a man that knows being successful means using your voice and influence for good and that the path can sometimes lead in you in many different directions.
While his initial rise to fame started with playing college and professional basketball in an international league and even boxing for a while, Jackson eventually found his way into the Hollywood Hills, landing spots in basketball commercials, which further piqued his interest into acting. This would propel him and put him in the position to land other roles in shows like Major Crimes and ultimately the critically acclaimed film Chi-raq, directed by Spike Lee. We got the chance to sit down and talk with Jackson about why it's important to do meaningful work, his ideal woman, and why he's passionate about Lawrence Hive.
What has life been like since being on Insecure?
Busy! I've been busy bouncing from place to place and the attention has been probably the biggest change in my life. The appearances, the interviews, and different things have been fun.
People love the show. I didn't know it would be to this magnitude, I didn't know it would be this impactful and this big. But I'm very grateful for it all, I'm very blessed.
Are there any parallels between you and your character Dro?
Dro, to me, isn't shook by much. He's very level-headed and cool. I might be a little more emotional than him but I still see similarities as far as how we both would handle things. We both are in control of situations, not letting certain situations affect us and not letting other people's emotions rub off on us so easily. Those are definitely the similarities that I find between my character and myself.
In this season, we continue to see the different perspectives and interpretations of sex and race. What do you make of the role shows like Insecure have in helping to drive conversations about race, race relations, sex, and the likes?
As an artist, you always want to be a part of something that has something to say. You don't want to do blind work or thoughtless material. We love anytime when we can spark a conversation between people, you start getting different perspectives. What we do is very influential, it speaks to the masses. Issa (Rae) and the team on Insecure always smoothly massage topics and conversations that need to be had, but they do it in subtle ways. They don't beat you over the head with it (laughs). It's very satisfying to be a part of those types of creatives and that type of world.
Speaking of Issa, she was quoted on the red carpet for saying that she was rooting for “everybody black" at the Emmy's this year. I've also seen you be dubbed as #WokeBae on the internet by some because you don't hesitate to speak out on certain things. How important is it for celebrities and those with influence to show that solidarity for the culture?
If we don't use our platform, you kind of have to ask yourself: what are you doing? If we're going to try to continue to progress, we have to speak our thoughts. What Issa did was beautiful, even though people tried to make it into something else. You can't keep the culture down. We make up only 13% of the U.S. population at most, yet we're one of the most lucrative and influential cultures worldwide but at the same time the most discriminated against.
When we show that support, it's not only better for us, but for everybody. It's just one step closer to unity and equality. Using your voice and using your platform smartly is needed and necessary for the culture. You can't be reckless, but if you're a minority there should be no reason why you're not speaking your mind when you see something wrong or when you want to uplift your culture. It's definitely a responsibility.
Switching gears, the sex scenes you had this season were very explicit and pretty frequent. It definitely caught the attention of a lot of women.
Yeah, you get to know me quickly (laughs). It has been a lot of support, but I like the type of women in the demographic. Educated and intelligent black women, they're very open and conversational. I've had fun with them, it's been entertaining. People are very joke-y about my character's situation. The women have been hilarious.
"I love women that are very determined; they have a passion about something."
Speaking of which, what is it that you look for in a woman?
I love women that are very determined; they have a passion about something. They can hold great conversations, they're very thought-provoking. I like them outspoken, just respectful human beings. I'm also attracted to very nurturing type of women, you know the kind that will rub your back and your head (laughs). I'm very affectionate, so I like that. From a physical standpoint, I like them to have nice style and take care of their hands and feet. A big thing for me too though, is your quality or taste in music and film. That's a big indicator, a lot of times it correlates to where you are in life and whether or not we're going to connect. It's all tied in to me; obviously there are some exceptions though.
Are you dating right now?
I'm not in a relationship, but I'm definitely dating. It's a very specific time in my career, I'm not opposed to having a relationship but I think I'd have to have someone who's very understanding. I've been lucky enough to meet some very good people, I haven't had any bad experiences. You know I'm just keeping things afloat, nothing too extra but definitely open to dating (laughs).
What would be an ideal date for you?
You always have to go somewhere dope to eat; I love food (laughs). I'm very into intimate concerts, like smaller type venues with artists who aren't necessarily commercial but still put out quality type music. That would be fun to me. Good music and good food.
What would you say are some of the biggest life lessons you've learned throughout your journey leading up to now?
I would say allowing myself to get out of my own way and allowing my spiritual evolution to flow instead of forcing issues or certain things because I wanted them so bad. Also, you have to work hard and just be a good person. Those two things are so simple but they go a long way. And surrounding yourself with like-minded people, with good people is very important.
"People that have that same drive, that same determination, it can only improve your life."
#WCW: Tessa Thompson, Issa Rae (Issa BAE), Logan Browning, Antoinette Robertson, and Ashley Blaine Featherson
Now Listening: BOSCO, The Internet, Khalid, Daniel Caesar, Kendrick Lamar, Drake
Top 3 Favorite Drake Projects:If You're Reading This, It's Too Late; Take Care; & So Far Gone
On Working with Issa Rae: "I was a fan of Awkward Black Girl when it came out. And I believe in visualization and the power of attracting things. So I knew I'd be working with someone great. I thought maybe it would happen a little later in life, but I'm definitely grateful to be a part of it all."
On Being an Ambassador to #LawrenceHive: "I won't tolerate any Lawrence slander, that's too much for one man to handle so I had to jump in. I'll have to wear multiple hats once #DroHive gets to kicking off though. I have to stand up for the good guys and I have a very close relationship with Jay Ellis. It's something I'm very passionate about and when it's a passion, it's not work (laughs)."
To tie you over until the third season of Insecure, get your daily Sarunas J. Jackson fix by following the actor on Twitter and Instagram.
Image Credits: HBO
Shanelle Harris is a Southern-based freelance writer & fashion social media curator. When she's not in class or writing, you can catch her quoting Drake lyrics and spreading #BlackGirlMagic one outfit post at a time. You can follow her on IG: @random__nelle.
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Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” At close to two decades of working with married couples, I agree with this man 1000 percent. It’s actually the main motivation for why I once penned, “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?” because, the reality is, if you’re not friends with the person who you vowed to share every aspect of your life with, for the rest of your life, it’s going to be very difficult (if not damn near impossible) to honor that level of commitment. Without question, I will now and forever die on the hill that if you like your partner, you can make it through the not-so-in-love-right-now moments. Vice versa? Eh…not so much.
A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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Featured image by jose carlos cerdeno martinez/Getty Images