‘Insecure’ Actor Sarunas J. Jackson Talks Life After Dro And What He Looks for In Love
Tall, outspoken, and handsome!
Those are just three words that can describe one of the newest faces on Season 2 of Insecure. Sarunas J. Jackson, the proud Panamanian-bred, Philly-native who is better known as Dro, Molly's smooth-talking, openly-married childhood friend, stands at a solid 6'8 ½''and definitely made our heads turn. But it wasn't just his athletic build or pearl-clutching sex scenes that had us intrigued. Jackson is a man that knows being successful means using your voice and influence for good and that the path can sometimes lead in you in many different directions.
While his initial rise to fame started with playing college and professional basketball in an international league and even boxing for a while, Jackson eventually found his way into the Hollywood Hills, landing spots in basketball commercials, which further piqued his interest into acting. This would propel him and put him in the position to land other roles in shows like Major Crimes and ultimately the critically acclaimed film Chi-raq, directed by Spike Lee. We got the chance to sit down and talk with Jackson about why it's important to do meaningful work, his ideal woman, and why he's passionate about Lawrence Hive.
What has life been like since being on Insecure?
Busy! I've been busy bouncing from place to place and the attention has been probably the biggest change in my life. The appearances, the interviews, and different things have been fun.
People love the show. I didn't know it would be to this magnitude, I didn't know it would be this impactful and this big. But I'm very grateful for it all, I'm very blessed.
Are there any parallels between you and your character Dro?
Dro, to me, isn't shook by much. He's very level-headed and cool. I might be a little more emotional than him but I still see similarities as far as how we both would handle things. We both are in control of situations, not letting certain situations affect us and not letting other people's emotions rub off on us so easily. Those are definitely the similarities that I find between my character and myself.
In this season, we continue to see the different perspectives and interpretations of sex and race. What do you make of the role shows like Insecure have in helping to drive conversations about race, race relations, sex, and the likes?
As an artist, you always want to be a part of something that has something to say. You don't want to do blind work or thoughtless material. We love anytime when we can spark a conversation between people, you start getting different perspectives. What we do is very influential, it speaks to the masses. Issa (Rae) and the team on Insecure always smoothly massage topics and conversations that need to be had, but they do it in subtle ways. They don't beat you over the head with it (laughs). It's very satisfying to be a part of those types of creatives and that type of world.
Speaking of Issa, she was quoted on the red carpet for saying that she was rooting for “everybody black" at the Emmy's this year. I've also seen you be dubbed as #WokeBae on the internet by some because you don't hesitate to speak out on certain things. How important is it for celebrities and those with influence to show that solidarity for the culture?
If we don't use our platform, you kind of have to ask yourself: what are you doing? If we're going to try to continue to progress, we have to speak our thoughts. What Issa did was beautiful, even though people tried to make it into something else. You can't keep the culture down. We make up only 13% of the U.S. population at most, yet we're one of the most lucrative and influential cultures worldwide but at the same time the most discriminated against.
When we show that support, it's not only better for us, but for everybody. It's just one step closer to unity and equality. Using your voice and using your platform smartly is needed and necessary for the culture. You can't be reckless, but if you're a minority there should be no reason why you're not speaking your mind when you see something wrong or when you want to uplift your culture. It's definitely a responsibility.
Switching gears, the sex scenes you had this season were very explicit and pretty frequent. It definitely caught the attention of a lot of women.
Yeah, you get to know me quickly (laughs). It has been a lot of support, but I like the type of women in the demographic. Educated and intelligent black women, they're very open and conversational. I've had fun with them, it's been entertaining. People are very joke-y about my character's situation. The women have been hilarious.
"I love women that are very determined; they have a passion about something."
Speaking of which, what is it that you look for in a woman?
I love women that are very determined; they have a passion about something. They can hold great conversations, they're very thought-provoking. I like them outspoken, just respectful human beings. I'm also attracted to very nurturing type of women, you know the kind that will rub your back and your head (laughs). I'm very affectionate, so I like that. From a physical standpoint, I like them to have nice style and take care of their hands and feet. A big thing for me too though, is your quality or taste in music and film. That's a big indicator, a lot of times it correlates to where you are in life and whether or not we're going to connect. It's all tied in to me; obviously there are some exceptions though.
Are you dating right now?
I'm not in a relationship, but I'm definitely dating. It's a very specific time in my career, I'm not opposed to having a relationship but I think I'd have to have someone who's very understanding. I've been lucky enough to meet some very good people, I haven't had any bad experiences. You know I'm just keeping things afloat, nothing too extra but definitely open to dating (laughs).
What would be an ideal date for you?
You always have to go somewhere dope to eat; I love food (laughs). I'm very into intimate concerts, like smaller type venues with artists who aren't necessarily commercial but still put out quality type music. That would be fun to me. Good music and good food.
What would you say are some of the biggest life lessons you've learned throughout your journey leading up to now?
I would say allowing myself to get out of my own way and allowing my spiritual evolution to flow instead of forcing issues or certain things because I wanted them so bad. Also, you have to work hard and just be a good person. Those two things are so simple but they go a long way. And surrounding yourself with like-minded people, with good people is very important.
"People that have that same drive, that same determination, it can only improve your life."
#WCW: Tessa Thompson, Issa Rae (Issa BAE), Logan Browning, Antoinette Robertson, and Ashley Blaine Featherson
Now Listening: BOSCO, The Internet, Khalid, Daniel Caesar, Kendrick Lamar, Drake
Top 3 Favorite Drake Projects:If You're Reading This, It's Too Late; Take Care; & So Far Gone
On Working with Issa Rae: "I was a fan of Awkward Black Girl when it came out. And I believe in visualization and the power of attracting things. So I knew I'd be working with someone great. I thought maybe it would happen a little later in life, but I'm definitely grateful to be a part of it all."
On Being an Ambassador to #LawrenceHive: "I won't tolerate any Lawrence slander, that's too much for one man to handle so I had to jump in. I'll have to wear multiple hats once #DroHive gets to kicking off though. I have to stand up for the good guys and I have a very close relationship with Jay Ellis. It's something I'm very passionate about and when it's a passion, it's not work (laughs)."
To tie you over until the third season of Insecure, get your daily Sarunas J. Jackson fix by following the actor on Twitter and Instagram.
Image Credits: HBO
Shanelle Harris is a Southern-based freelance writer & fashion social media curator. When she's not in class or writing, you can catch her quoting Drake lyrics and spreading #BlackGirlMagic one outfit post at a time. You can follow her on IG: @random__nelle.
- Sarunas J. Jackson Interview | Essence.com ›
- REVOLT News | Sarunas J. Jackson talks 'Insecure' vs. reality ... ›
- Sarunas Jackson talks basketball and his role on HBO's 'Insecure' ›
- Interview | Sarunas J. Jackson of 'Insecure' - REVOLT | REVOLT ... ›
- 'Wine Down' Ep. 5 w/ Issa & Sarunas J. Jackson | Insecure | Season 2 ›
- Who Plays Dro on Insecure? | POPSUGAR Celebrity ›
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Not too long ago, while in an interview, someone asked me for a top complaint that I hear husbands say (first) and then wives state (second) as it relates to what goes down (or doesn’t go down) in the bedroom.
Ladies first: when it comes to women, I think what comes up more than anything might surprise some: it’s boredom. A lot of wives want there to be more spontaneity instead of taking the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach from their partner. As for men? I mean, would anyone be shocked to hear that they wished their wife would initiate sex more often?
I’m telling you, over frequency, technique, and even dressing up more for bed (and yes, those things also come up quite a bit), hands down, what I hear that more men want is for their partner to show them that they are desired by taking the initial steps to make copulation happen…more often.
And so, since I’m all about doing whatever I can to reduce dissatisfaction and frustration in the bedroom department, let’s explore this very topic today — from a few angles. For starters, what it truly means to be a sexual initiator; two, why it’s so vitally important to be a sexual initiator, and three, why it could literally change the entire tone, energy, and outcome of your sex life with your partner — if you’d simply be open to initiating sex more often than you (probably already) do.
What It Means to Initiate Something. LITERALLY.
Giphy
I’m word-literal — there’s no secret about that. So, when it comes to the topic of initiating sex, let’s start with what the word means. To initiate is “to begin, set going, or originate” and “to introduce into the knowledge of some art or subject.” Some synonyms for initiate include begin, open, set up, trigger, admit, introduce, and invest. And when it comes to all of the meanings of these words, between men and women, when it comes to sex specifically, guess who does it more? Men. BY A LONG SHOT TOO: a whopping 60 percent.
When it comes to why a lot of women are so comfortable with men initiating intimacy, many think that, just like men should pursue them for a relationship, it is also “the man’s role” to pursue sex in the bedroom; they literally think that it makes them look desperate or needy for them to be the initiator — yes, even as a wife. What in the world?
Listen, when two people sign up to be each other’s exclusive sex partner until death parts them, it means they are both saying that they desire each other so much that they are willing to make that kind of commitment — and so, there should be no “I don’t want to appear this way or that” when it comes to sexual activity.
So, with all of that ridiculous overthinking out of the way, that should make you want to “set up” some sex plans, “admit” to some sexual fantasies that you may have, and “introduce” some new ideas to your partner; especially since that’s exactly what so many men wish that their lady would do, to begin with.
So, with all of this said, if you’re someone who is hung up on not initiating, first spend some time really processing what the word means. Because when two people are eager to begin sex and invest in each other sexually, that is the recipe for a truly satisfying experience…over and over and over again.
C’mon. Who Doesn’t Want to Feel Wanted?
GiphyI remember once reading an article that said our brain processes rejection the same way that it does physical pain, and y’all, I don’t know about you, but if something is physically hurting me, my natural inclination is to get away from it. Along these lines, when it comes to relationships since research has proven that rejection can lead to things like jealousy, shame, anxiety, loneliness, and guilt — yes, it makes all of the common sense in the world that you would want to do all that you can to make your partner feel wanted…both in and outside of the bedroom because, just like no one wants to deal with physical pain, no one wants to keep dealing with rejection and all of the fallout that comes with it…either.
Actually, when it comes to this particular point, I think that an article that I once read on Psychology Today’s site said it best: “Not only does being needed help define your role in a relationship, but being needed can also influence how satisfied you feel in a relationship.” And before some of you say that “sex is not a need” — the hell you say? I mean, the only purpose of your clitoris is to provide sexual stimulation, so that alone should make us all deem sex (and sexual fulfillment) as pretty damn important.
Plus, by definition, a need is something that is deemed as being essential while also being something that is extremely necessary, and anyone who thinks that a romantic relationship doesn’t need physical intimacy? That’s someone who really needs to remain single because one of the top things that makes a relationship more than a friendship is there is intimacy that’s involved.
Besides, who doesn’t want to feel wanted by their partner — and I do mean, in every way? And when you make the decision to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else, you are declaring that they are someone who pleases you to the point where you don’t need to look for anyone else to do it; and, if that is indeed what you are saying, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t initiate sex with them sometimes (and I do mean more than on their birthday).
One, because you choose them to “fill that role.” Two, because they are the source of your fulfillment in that area. Three, because it’s completely unfair (not to mention totally hypocritical) to expect them to make you feel wanted when you’re not being intentional about making them feel the same way in return. Not to mention the fact that initiating also helps to safeguard your relationship on a lot of levels too.
Since sex is important and rejection is detrimental on so many levels, it’s crucial to make your partner feel sexually wanted and desired by you. One way to definitely do that is to initiate sex.
What Initiating Sex Does for You
GiphySo, what does initiating sex do for the initiator? Something that I tell a lot of my women clients is it helps them to create an atmosphere that puts them in the mood. What I mean by that is, if their husband is perfectly content having sex on the couch during commercials (I’m kind of exaggerating to make a point…kind of…LOL) while they would like some candles, mood music, and rose petals — they can control that if they are the one who initiates.
Another perk that comes with being the initiator is you have more “control” over how the sex goes. The kind of foreplay you want, how fast or slow things go, how intercourse begins — all of this, you have more of a say so in if you’re the one who is initiating intimacy. Why? Well, think about when your bae initiates — doesn’t it seem like you tend to follow his lead more when he’s the one who is first to get the ball rolling?
Oftentimes, when a couple comes to me about being sexually dissatisfied, and I recommend that the one who doesn’t initiate takes more initiative, the one on the receiving end likes the fact that their partner is “running the show” — and the initiator likes “being in charge” more than they thought that they would. As a result, both end up experiencing far more pleasure.
The initiator shows what they want more of while the receiver feels desired in the process. A win/win for everyone.
What Initiating Sex Does for Him
sexy black and white GIFGiphyA couple of weeks ago, while in a session with a client, he was joking about how much he has “too much of a good thing” when it comes to his wife’s libido. Although science says that the fact that men have a higher amount of testosterone in their system, and it is the reason why they typically have a higher sex drive, don’t sleep on a lot of women out there who want to get it in more than their husband does. His wife is one of them. Since she’s a client of mine too (oftentimes, we do our sessions separately), it’s interesting that he’s fine with having sex a couple of times a month while she would like to a couple of times a week.
So, is he denying her when she wants it more often? Nope. The reason why they’re not having more sex is that even though her drive is higher, she still waits for him to initiate. Why? Because she thinks that’s what “the man should do”; not only that but “being wooed” turns her on more.
As I’ve been working on helping them to find a middle ground (because if marriage ain’t about compromise, I don’t know what is), he says that he feels like because he plans a lot of the dates, he wishes that she would initiate more: “I don’t think a lot of women get how hard it is to be a Black man out here. Nothing feels better than knowing that if no one else is thrilled by your presence, your woman is. For us, initiating isn’t just about sex. It’s about feeling wanted as a whole. And when we feel like our woman adores us, there is no greater turn-on.”
I’m not sure what y’all heard, but what it sounds like to me is when we, as women, initiate sex, men feel holistically special and cherished. That makes sense, too, because if we were to put our feet in their shoes, we would probably say the same thing. That’s just one more reason to pull the “gender roles” out of this topic; men and women both want to feel like they are the best thing on the planet by their sex partners. And again, initiating helps us all to feel that way.
What Initiating Ultimately Does for Your Relationship As a Whole
Issa Rae Love GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphyPersonally, I can only imagine how much better sex would be for everyone (who is in a sexual relationship) if people simply initiated copulation whenever they wanted to have it. That way, everyone would feel desired — and what could possibly be wrong with that? Especially if both individuals factored in some of the definitions for initiated that I already shared. Just think about if you rushed home tonight because you read about something that you want to introduce to your man or there’s a fantasy that you have that you want to admit.
The mere conversations alone will help to bring the two of you closer together because, after all, deep intimacy is about minds, bodies, and spirits getting as close as possible…right? And so, yes, by initiating sex, it can bring more closeness and stability to the relationship as a whole.
And what if you initiate and your partner isn’t interested at the time? Or what if you’re shy about initiating due to having a fear of rejection? That’s a fair and legitimate concern. One day, I’ll need to pen an article on how couples should handle situations like that with grace (on both ends) while applying the golden rule of “doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.” For now, I’ll just say that if this is your greatest point of concern, share that with your partner as well.
After all, it’s pretty unrealistic to expect them to always want it when you do (although it’s been my experience and observation that men are almost always far easier to convince…LOL); just know that not wanting sex at the exact moment that you do doesn’t mean that they don’t want you altogether. Besides, oftentimes, a nap or a night of sleep can rectify that issue. Trust me.
____
Rihanna was actually once quoted as saying, “To me, sex is power. It’s empowering to do it because you want to do it.” I personally think that’s a great way to bring this to a close. Make your partner feel wonderful, empower yourself, and strengthen your relationship by initiating sex more often. I can’t think of one reason why it’s not a wise move. Can you?
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Jacob Wackerhausen/Getty Images