From Immigrant To Entrepreneur: How Rosa Acosta Hustled Her Way To Being Her Own Boss
It's July 2009 and the official video of Drake's “Best I Ever Had" has just hit the Internet.
A group of beautiful and voluptuous girls run out on the basketball court (bra-less, of course) in low-cut pink wrestling singlets and matching sweatbands repping team Drake. The beardless, baby-faced rapper is making each of his “players" feel special as they sensually stretch and bounce in attempt to get coach's attention.
But there's one girl who throughout the video doesn't appear to be vying for the title of MVP. She stays mostly in the background, occasionally caught on camera gracefully stretching, but otherwise relatively hidden. Despite the lack of visibility, it's 25-year-old Rosa Acosta's big debut. Not the one she expected when she moved from the Dominican Republic just three years before, but the one that would earn her a spot in the video girl hall of fame—whether she wanted it or not.
“I never wanted to be a model and be in music videos, this is not something that I dreamed about. This is not something that I thought would ever happen to me," she says.
Video vixen. Urban model. Four words that when paired together distastefully roll off the tongue as they come with their own set of connotations that the entrepreneur believes are neither accurate nor representative of who she is as a woman. Despite retiring from the game a few years prior, Acosta still finds herself shedding the labels of her past. “I still get a lot of calls to continue to do music videos. They will still have me doing music videos at the tender age of 45 if I was still looking good."
Like most immigrants, Rosa Acosta came to America looking for opportunity, though, in her hometown of Santo Domingo, she was arguably already a burgeoning star. As a classically-trained ballet dancer who studied since the age of four, she would graduate with honors from the Instituto de Cultura y Arte (ICA) and become the youngest soloist member of the Ballet Nacional Dominicana—performing around the country in notable shows such as The Nutcracker, Swan Lake, and Carmen. But her battle with anorexia and bulimia took a toll on her 100-pound frame, forcing her to decide between living her dream or staying alive.
At home, her circumstances weren't much better. Her mom left for America years prior, but as a single parent that didn't meet the required income level for immigration laws, she couldn't afford to bring over Acosta and her brother for the first ten years. So Acosta grew up with old-school grandparents who would place more value on virginity than education for the girls of the house.
“From an early age, I experienced this gender thing where they would try to make me feel like because I was a woman, I was less or I was just supposed to marry somebody and cook and clean. When my brother talked, they would ask him what he wanted to be when he grew older, but for me it was just she's going to marry somebody, and that's it."
Becoming a rebel, she chose to trade in her culinary skills for business school and attended the local community college against her grandparent's will. The decision caused a rift back home, so when the paperwork for coming to America was finally approved, she made moves to the land of opportunity with hopes of going back to college. But when she arrived she was unable to transfer her credits, and due to high tuition costs decided that dishing out $15,000 to go to school for massage therapy was more reasonable. By this time she had relocated from her mom's home in Pennsylvania to New York, where she picked up a job as a bartender while finishing school.
In May 2009, she received a message on MySpace from a guy who owned a website featuring videos of ex-dancers, contortionists, and strippers doing their stretching and dance routines. The former dancer didn't hesitate to put on a tank top and a pair of shorts and get back to her glory days. The video was picked up by entertainment gossip site MediaTakeOut, raking in millions of views and attracting the eyeballs of artists and magazine editors who suddenly wanted to know the new girl on the block. In a matter of months, Acosta's life went from zero to one hundred as she started picking up hosting gigs, features in KING and XXL, and a number of music video appearances for artists such as Chris Brown, Lil' Wayne, and Diddy. Even though the dollars were making sense, she didn't have the intention of staying in the business long. "I never thought of it as a career; I was just going with the flow and making some money. I always felt like it wasn't going to be something that would last for a year and then I'd try to make all the money that I can because I wanted to own a spa," she says.
She made it three years before calling it quits in 2012.
“I just realized that I was in the wrong thing when people judge you based on the fact that you are not spending $5,000 on a pair of shoes. When I saw the kind of people that I was working with and surrounding myself with every day, I said I don't even want to do this anymore. I don't want to be around people that are that dumb. I want to be around people that inspire me, that I can learn something from, that are making moves towards building true wealth."
She's partially referring to an incident in 2010 when rapper Maino commented on her “cheap" shoe game, which Acosta kindly gave the fiery response in her own interview, “I wasn't aware they could give you lessons about women's shoes in prison" before adding that she's still the same girl from the Dominican Republic and won't buy a $2,000 pair of shoes when she can't afford it. Her money goes to helping her family back in DR or her own education.
While people were checking for her bank account, Acosta was busy building it. In addition to becoming a regular on Nick Cannon's Wild 'n Out and launching her fitness apparel line Body by Acosta, she was also running her online business CossaMia, a one-stop shop for clothing designers and brands that is run and self-funded by the entrepreneur. When Acosta first came up with the idea, she reached out to fellow friends and designers Geebin Flores and Angel Brinks about the opportunity. “I just wanted to offer people the opportunity to order all the brands that they like in one place," she says. “If you like two or three of the brands that we have, instead of going to their websites and paying separate shipping, you could just pay no shipping or just one shipping for everything."
Acosta began posting the designs on Instagram, attracting more designers, and to date has almost 20 brands featured on the site. “There isn't anything wrong with capitalizing off of Instagram or any social media period. It takes a lot of time and dedication; it is not cheap to have an Instagram "boutique."
After hustling hashtags for four years, Acosta opened her flagship store on Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles this past October, and is looking to expand to other locations in the near future. “No rich mom and dad backing me up, no boyfriend, sugar daddy, investor, friend, drug dealer money, none of that stuff."
At the Grand Opening of CossaMia
"This is me doing the same thing I've been doing since the beginning—not spending my money on shoes and bags, but putting it into my work and investing in my business."
Having multiple streams of income has definitely afforded Acosta a taste of the lifestyle of the rich and famous. While on our call she was shopping for her new home (she tells me it's big), which she hoped to move into within a month. She has already purchased a home for her brother (a DJ) and her mother, who she says no longer works.
As for who will be living with her in this new, big house? That's to be determined. During most of her career, she was dating a low-key guy not in the industry who she purposefully kept out of the public eye, but they recently broke up, and according to the 31-year-old, she's not interested in young men. “I just don't have anything to talk about with a guy that is 22. I mean, I can have a casual conversation, but I doubt that I can actually be enlightened and I can learn…I just don't see myself totally connecting and clicking with people 10 years younger than me."
In fact, she admits that she's hardly ever interested in men period, which is ironic considering that her claim to fame stems from guys salivating over her silhouette. But Acosta says she never grew up being “boy crazy," and due to attending an all-girls school felt no pressure to have her first boyfriend until she was 20-years-old. “I always had my relationships are more so like my friendships with my girlfriends, they take a lot of my time. I like a guy like once every five or six years. I think that the older I get, the less I like guys. I've been hoping that I was normal and that I liked guys like everybody who are like, 'you're so hot, you're so fine' and I'm like, who?"
So does she want kids?
“Yes, definitely. I know I'm going to be a mom, I just don't know under which circumstances. Me and my best friend think about this all the time, about what if we get to the time where we feel like physically we are reaching that point but there's no men around. We have contemplated the idea of doing something where she will have my babies or I will have her babies or something like that, and the idea of getting married and doing it ourselves, but I'm not sure yet."
Now I'm curious. Is this a sexual relationship between you and your best friend? Or…
“More so in a partnership for both of us. I mean, we love each other very much in a way that is not selfish, and I don't own her and she doesn't own me. I think I have more intimacy with her than some people that are sleeping together. There's so much more to somebody's dreams and wishes and personality, and I think that I have those things with some of my friends, we know each other so well and we love each other in a way that is really amazing."
She goes on to explain that finding someone who actually cares to help you grow and who won't just slide in your DMs (which she doesn't check by the way) thinking that's all it takes to establish a connection is a dime a dozen. I'm not sure if she's talking out of frustration with her dating experience, or if she's starting to become at peace with the idea that maybe marrying a man isn't in the cards for her. The idea of intimacy versus a sexual relationship where you really understand and have a deeper connection with someone, even if it's a female friend, is an interesting conversation that challenges the traditional idea of marriage and relationships—one that isn't defined by the physical, but the mental and emotional connection with a partner.
When I ask her if she thinks growing up in a household that placed so much emphasis on her vagina had an impact on her sexuality, she says, “I always had common sense to understand that my worth goes beyond my pussy. If for some reason I could never use it again, there is somebody out there at would love me regardless. Don't get me wrong, I have a very sexual sense of humor, and I realize that a lot of people's lives are ruled off of sex and I was able to capitalize off of that and make a lot of money, but sex is very minimal in my life."
And she's certainly used her assets to create assets. With each lip-pucker, back arch, and look-back-at-it pose she padded her bank account. It's easy to confine and define her by the profession that she gracefully stretched her way into, but in an era of social media booty beauties showing less for no paychecks, Rosa Acosta has played the game smart by expanding her brand beyond her three years of fame.
It's certainly not easy to remain in the public eye when everyone has an opinion about who you are and what you do with your own body. It takes a certain level of confidence, or maybe just nonchalance, to have your every move—every post—critiqued and criticized by those who took the time to type in your name. Though Acosta appears sure of herself now, often sharing photos of her fit physique, that wasn't always the case.
“I feel like I come from a place where Rosa Acosta's are very common. Girls that look like me, there are really hundreds of them everywhere. When I came to America, people used to compliment me on things I didn't like. I think that seeing other opinions, I realized that beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. There are many opinions, but the only opinion that truly matters is yours."
I ask her how, then, did she become so confident in her sexuality. After all, posing for men's magazines and constantly being on display takes some level of guts.
“I mean, hey look, there's Photoshop, you don't need to be that confident. They're going to make sure that you look good," she says matter-of-factly. “I had my moments where I haven't been sexually confident or just confident in myself period, but I have realized that being the baddest bitch was not my priority. And being the bitch with the best body or the baddest head game, these things have never been one of my goals. I still work to make sure I look good, and that I'm happy with the way I look, but I have also tried to put as much effort on spiritually growing."
One thing you won't catch Rosa doing is being a hater. She believes in building up and not tearing down women who may look better or are doing better than her. “When I look at a woman, I try to say a couple of things that she's better at than me. I think it's healthy to realize that there are people more beautiful than you, more successful than you. I just acknowledge that people can look better, can be doing better, can be better, and then I use that as fuel and try to continue with my journey."
Just as she may be admiring other women, Rosa has her own admirable characteristics, such as her dedication to her community. She's often seen feeding the homeless on Wednesdays with My Friends House in LA, teaching dance classes to kids, and volunteering in Tanzania. And no, she's not just doing it for the 'gram, growing up in the Dominican Republic she was volunteering at home for kids with Down syndrome and also working with the animals that she so dearly loves (she recently went back to being vegetarian—ten years after being advised by her doctor to eat meat due to her eating disorders).
One thing I can say about Rosa Acosta is that she's unapologetically open, and in an industry where people put on personalities like a costume, she's managed to humbly stay true to who she is—a woman who would rather rock a pair of Forever 21 shoes and be about her business than put up a façade. Her next mission? Changing how the world views her.
And this time, the ball is in her court.
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images