9 Months After We Broke Up, I Proposed
This is Samuel and Thaina's love story, as told to Sheriden Chanel
Love and magic are intrinsically connected. We stand more boldly within that the more we find it and the more we see others find it. It's why we gravitate towards love stories, it gives us hope, and something to believe in. We see others get it right and hope that maybe one day we'll get it right too.
Samuel Blot, 29, and Thaina Madere, 28, felt nothing short of magic upon meeting each other. In fact, their union was quite serendipitous. The planets and the sun and stars were lining up to make sure everything in the world was right when they met each other time and time again:
“We worked together, went to rival high schools, ended up at the same university and even had class together but I never knew her until it was the right time," Samuel recalls of his betrothed, “It wasn't until I saw her writing during a creative writing class that I started crushing on her. I started 'showing up' in the places where she would study and over time like… grew into love."
For Thaina, she insists that it was not at all love at first sight and she admits to never really noticing him until they were both creative writing majors at La Sierra University. They were strangers up until they became friends when she realized they kept running into each other, and Samuel began his crush. Over time, the two fell in love, rose in love, and grew in love together.
But, after a brief intermission for the couple that led to their untimely breakup, Samuel had time to think and realize the true value of the woman he loved.
“I knew that forever was what I wanted to be for her, and I knew I couldn't settle for anything less. It wasn't instant, but I won her back – and I've felt like I won the lottery every day since."
He was determined to get that old thing back by evolving into the kind of man he knew she needed and deserved. He come correct in courting Thaina for a second time. And, he loved it so much, he had to put a ring on it!
Read on for more about his personal journey to their proposal, which also included rewriting bad memories and forging new ones for his bride-to-be. #blacklovematters
Reunited & It Feels So Good
Nine months after our breakup, I pursued her again. I had become best friends with someone who I could no longer call mine. It was tough and I kept telling myself that Thai deserved better than who I was. Then it happened, God told me it was true! She did deserve better than who I was; but God also told me that I didn't have to settle for who I was either. I could be better. I could be better for her. I knew I wouldn't and couldn't force her to be with me so I bided my time, fasted, prayed, worked on improving and discovering myself, came up with a plan (I'm a planner), and came to her correct.
When I thought of our life together I knew that I had the feelings of love, but I didn't have that level of commitment to cement the “love" I knew. When deciding that she was “the one" I looked at what love was and felt discouraged that I didn't have everything. Then I realized it was a decision to intentionally “be" everything that love is. Patient. Kind. Long suffering. Wise. Strong in prayer. The moment I asked myself if this woman was the one I was willing to be a complete picture of love for, I knew I had to risk everything to be one with her.
I knew that forever was what I wanted to be for her, and I knew I couldn't settle for anything less. It wasn't instant, but I won her back – and I've felt like I won the lottery every day since.
The Proposal
I knew I wanted to marry Thaina but the “how" evaded me. All I knew was that I didn't want to half have her anymore so on September 17, 2016, I'd ask her to be my Queen forever. The day came and I had all the details planned out. I contacted a photographer friend to do a photoshoot with her in a “garden setting". What she didn't know is that I would be hiding around the bend with her family and friends waiting to surprise her. I ducked away from the shoot and went to change into my suit. I sent her friends out a few at a time and after her friends all came out, her family followed along with a violinist playing the song “Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran.
I chose this song because we had broken up around the time the song originally came out. She loved the song when it first played but it was attached to bad memories so from then, even though we had been together for months at this point, she still didn't like the song. I knew that I didn't just want to create new memories, I wanted to re-forge old ones if I could. After her family came out, it was time. I had a long speech prepared, but when I saw her standing there in all her beauty I only had one thing to say:
"Will you marry me?"
Follow the newly-engaged couple via @thainamadere and @samuelblot on Instagram. Find the original engagement post here.
All images provided by Samuel Blot and Thaina Madere
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Regina King Reflects On Grief and Loss After Her Son’s Death: ‘The Sadness Will Never Go Away.’
The pain of losing a child is an experience that no parent wants to go through — and actress Regina King is now ready to speak about her experience with grief two years after her son’s passing.
In her first TV interview appearance since her son, Ian Alexander Jr., died by suicide in January 2022, King sat down with Good Morning America, to reflect on the tragic loss.
“I’m a different person, you know, now than I was January 19,” King shared. “Grief is a journey, you know? I understand that grief is love that has no place to go.”
“I know that it’s important for me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us,” she added.
The Shirley star also added that it's vital to discuss the common misconception surrounding depression, noting that battles with mental health can manifest in diverse ways. “When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King told Robin Roberts.
“To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand… He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
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The Academy Award winner openly revealed that she was initially “so angry with God.”
“Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through — therapy, psychiatrists, programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,' " she said.
With the memory of her son near to her, King said through tears, “My favorite thing about myself is being Ian’s mom and I can say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Anderson, 26, was a musician, DJ, and King’s only child. In 2019, Ian escorted his mother on the red carpet of the Golden Globes where she took home the award for "Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture."
He toldE! News at the time, "She's just a super mom. She doesn't really let bad work days or anything come back and ruin the time that we have. It's really awesome to have a mother who I can enjoy spending time with."
Understanding that grief is shared by many others, King emphasizes the unique weight of her role as Ian's mother and acknowledges that the sadness will always be a part of her.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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Featured image by Shannon Finney / Stringer/Getty Images