Here’s Why Femailer Is The Beauty Box You Never Knew You Needed
The beauty industry is an ever-growing industry. There are constant releases in haircare, skincare, and makeup and it can be overwhelming and expensive to keep up with. However, if you're someone who likes to try new things for a portion of the price, then you may want to consider a subscription beauty box. It's a simple way to get everything you need delivered right to your door. And if there's anything that this pandemic taught us, it's how to survive when the world is forced to stay six feet apart. Even though most of the world is going back to "normal," this is another option for those of you who still want to keep it safe.
Let's address the elephant in the room, one of the biggest concerns with beauty boxes is having a box full of products that don't fit our skin or hair type. It is very frustrating to get a box of eight products and you can only use two of them. One key thing to look into when joining a subscription service is, who are these products really for? Is it made with black women in mind? Does it provide useful products for me? Don't worry...I got you, sis.
Let me save you the hassle and tell you why Femailer is the subscription box you never knew you needed.
What's a Femailer?
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Femailer is a quarterly beauty box that features a range of 5-8 full-sized beauty products for women of color at an affordable price. The value of a typical box is up to $120, but as a member, you get it for more than half the price, $30 to be exact -- every season.
The creator of Femailer, Ashlee Gomez, has combined her 11+ years in the beauty industry as a licensed cosmetologist and beauty marketing professional to deliver a solution that allows women of color to identify and embrace not just their outer, but more importantly their inner beauty.
Each box is curated with three main missions in mind: to satisfy your beauty needs, give you inspiration and resources that'll help you flourish inside and out, and introduce you to quality products by other black-owned brands.
Each quarterly box features premium haircare, skincare, makeup, and lifestyle products from brands like Creme of Nature, Black Radiance, SheDavi, Lottabody, custom Femailer jewelry, and much more.
In my box, I received:
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- "I'm Speaking" Tote Bag
- Lottabody Boost Me Curl Boosting Smoothie
- Lottabody Hold Me Maximum Hold Styling Gel
- Lottabody Elongate Me Curl Stretcher
- Beauty Bakerie | Brownie Bar
- AHAVA l Mineral Hand Cream
- KISS - Glam Fantasy Nails | Trampoline Set
Along with two bonus items:
- Lottabody Satin Scarf
- "I'm Making Herstory" Button
Krissy Lewis/xoNecole
Each product is hand-picked, Ashlee and her team actually use themselves to make sure members are getting quality products that promote healthy hair and beauty practices for each season. It's also worth mentioning that Femailer also provides tips and tricks on how to use each product. So whether you're a beginner or seasoned beauty guru, you get access to tutorials, reviews, and even members-only pop-up shops.
I'm saying...this is a lot for just $30, it's definitely a steal!
My honest review:Â
Krissy Lewis/xoNecole
Let's start with the Lottabody products.
The entire Milk & Honey collection is made with milk protein and honey to help restore moisture to your hair. Here's a breakdown of each product I received:
The Lottabody Milk & Honey Boost Me Curl Boosting Smoothie
The Lottabody Boost Me Curl Boosting Smoothie is a curl-enhancing formula that adds definition, shine and a light-to-medium hold to your hair. This product is so good it can stand alone to style and refresh your curls. Because of its versatility, it can be used as a leave-in and styling cream for wash n' go's, twist-out, and braid-out styles.
The Lottabody Milk & Honey Elongate Me Curl Stretcher
The Elongate Me Curl Stretcher is a thick nourishing cream that treats dry, rough strands and helps restore moisture to brittle hair. It can be used as a styler and leave-in. It moisturizes your hair and helps minimize frizz. To be honest, it's a tough claim to elongate curls with just a product because shrinkage is inevitable.
I wouldn't rely heavily on this for fighting shrinkage, but it's good for added moisture and definition. To help fight shrinkage, you can use the raking method and apply the gel after to hold your curls in place.
The Lottabody Milk & Honey Hold Me Maximum Hold Styling Gel
Lastly, is the Hold Me Maximum Hold Styling Gel. The hold with this gel is 10 out of 10. I say that because it has the key things you want in a styling gel: hold, crunchless curls, no flaking, definition, and shine. The Hold Me styling gel also helps prolong the wear of your hairstyle; it kept my curls intact for 4-5 days.
On the right, old twist-out; on the left, old twist-out refreshed and revived with Lottabody.
Krissy Lewis/xoNecole
I used the Boost Me Curl Boosting Smoothie and Hold Me Maximum Hold Styling Gel to refresh my old, dry twist-out and those two products were all I needed. It enhanced my curls and gave my hair more volume and hold. I don't think you need to use both the curl stretcher and the curl boosting smoothie together, one or the other is fine but it depends on what your hair needs.
On the left, close-up of pigmented highlighter; on the right, defined cheekbone with Beauty Bakerie.
Krissy Lewis/xoNecole
The next product I used was the Beauty Bakerie Brownie Bar Face Palette. I've been wanting to try Beauty Bakerie for a while, so I'm glad I was able to try it out because I love this palette. The Brownie Bar comes with a powder contour, bronzer, and highlight. The formula is buildable so that you can start light and get the hang of how and where to contour.
I need to warn y'all though, I'm very new to bronzing and contouring but this is very beginner-friendly and gave me the confidence to try it out. It's also very blendable and pigmented, so a little goes a long way especially with the highlighter. On the left is a close-up of how pigmented the highlighter is and I only used a small amount. On the right is how defined my cheekbone is after using the bronzer.
Overall, I definitely think Femailer is worth a try. It features products for women of color with all skin and hair types so you'll never have to wonder if a product will work for you. In my experience, I also think it motivates you to try new products and techniques! Like I mentioned before I've been wanting to try contouring and it's like the universe heard me and brought me this.
I also want to add that the vibe of the bag was very empowering, from the statement tote and pin to the beauty finds, I really enjoyed the experience Femailer provided.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis/xoNecole
Freelance writer, content creator, and traveler. She enjoys the beauty of simplicity, a peaceful life, and a big curly fro. Connect with Krissy on social media @iamkrissylewis or check out her blog at www.krissylewis.com.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images