Jason Derulo Gets 'Naked' About His Breakup With Jordin Sparks & What He's Learned About Love
“I need to be able to be myself at all times," Jason Derulo confesses to me.
He leans back against the white-cushioned cabana couches facing out towards the pool of his California abode, dark eyes intent as if daring me to question his reasoning. “And if I'm drunk or faded in the studio…"
“You might record some drunk faded in the studio shit," I finish for him.
“Yeah, exactly," he says with a boyish grin. “And then I might say some shit I would've never said. The truth serum, that shit is a motherfucker."
He's talking about “Naked," his latest R&B single where the crooner strips down D'Angelo style while an equally bare K. Michelle prances around in stilettos and little else. The label told him it would be catastrophic for his career. A handful of the 4,800 commentators under his video—currently reaching beyond two million views—would probably agree.
“This is not about selling records. This is not about trying to make people think that I'm somebody else that I'm not; it's literally about me spreading my wings creatively. I'm going to do me regardless," he says defiantly.
It's not the first time that an artist feeling confined by how the industry has defined him has opted for creative freedom over record sales. To his millions of fans, he's Jason Derulo the pop star, whose 2009 debut single “Whatcha Say" went platinum followed by two handfuls of best-selling songs. Over the last few years we've watched Derulo moonwalk his way to the top of the Billboard charts with hits such as “Want to Want Me" and “Wiggle" featuring Snoop Dogg, but according to the 26-year-old, we've hardly even scratched the surface of who he is as an artist or even a man.
“This is not about trying to make people think that I'm somebody else that I'm not."
Growing up, the Haitian-American got his start by penning records for urban and pop artists such as Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Diddy at 16 years old. Though he hailed from the hoods of Carol City, he made it his mission to escape the lifestyle that had many of his family members fell victim to. Derulo found that he could touch a larger audience through pop music, and before the age of 22 would go on to tour as an opening act for Lady Gaga, drop records with Demi Lovato, and continuously peak on the Billboard charts.
“I used to tell my mom, 'yeah, I don't need to learn how to do that. I'm going to have somebody do that for me,'" he laughs as a small staff waits in the distance, ready to assist him at a moment's notice.
On his latest mixtape, the Miami native promises to give us a peek into the real Jason, the one who lights up in studios to release what's really on his mental, like slipping phones off of groupies before they can sell a photo to TMZ or that one line in “Naked" where he sings “the only time I need the sparks is when I light up my spliffs." No shade to Jordin Sparks. “You think that's shade? I say some other shit they're really going to think is shade."
Derulo stares off into the distance with a look that I've seen often in interviews whenever the mention of his ex comes into the conversation. Sadness. Pain. Perhaps a little annoyance at the fact that almost two years later he's still talking about the end of their three-year relationship to the press. I don't even have to say her name before the words start tumbling out.
“Things could've been different had different choices been made from her side. I felt some kind of way because the world thought it was my fault, and I broke up with her. So they kind of fucked with me only from that perspective. I was really disappointed in her and how she handled it because she made people believe that it was my fault. Like Wendy Williams asked her 'so we heard that he cheated, is that why you guys broke up?' and she says, 'No comment.' Like what the fuck you mean no comment?!"
“I was really disappointed in her and how she handled it because she made people believe that it was my fault."
Jason Derulo and new girlfriend Daphne Joy
Jason swears that there was no foul play on his end, and if you ask him, they broke up because of her for reasons he's choosing to keep private. In previous interviews, he's hinted at the pressures of marriage as being the catalyst to their arguments and ultimate dissolution. “I thought that I could change her through the course of time, and I couldn't. I realized that I felt better off when I was by myself," he says, running his hand through his twisted Mohawk.
Though it's been almost two years, Derulo is still carrying around the baggage of his breakup and bears the scars of his past relationship—hard to imagine considering the last few months he's been photographed with girlfriend and model Daphne Joy. Just moments before our interview she glided down the red-carpeted stairs of his 1920s castle-style home in a skintight tan dress hugging her famed curves.
“I realize that myself is important, too," he continues. “I watched how my dad was good with my mom because he always put her first, so I always try to be like that—to my own detriment, though, because I just was going in too hard and forgot about my own wellbeing. I learned that I got to also keep myself in mind as well."
"I just was going in too hard and forgot about my own wellbeing. I learned that I got to also keep myself in mind as well."
He's saving the particulars for his untitled mixtape that he promises will be unapologetically honest. But while there may be some allusion to his love life, don't expect him to divulge too many details about previous lovers. “I don't feel the need to explain what happened or what she did, so I don't do that on the mixtape either."
What he is doing is giving his fans another side of him as an artist that's often not captured on camera, whether they like it or not. “It's an all-around explanation of what my life is like. It's not just love, it's from a place of truth," he says. “I think that some people may be a little scared of the honesty."
One thing's for sure, Derulo isn't the same guy who danced his way to number one records. He's a little rawer—more real—and he's getting naked for the world to see.
Check out the official video for "Naked" ft. K. Michelle and exclusive photos of Jason Derulo's L.A. home below!
Featured image by Joseph Okpako/Getty Images
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images