Crystal Healing Helped Devi Brown Manifest A Life She Loves
Devon “Devi" Brown is all smiles as she strolls into the slightly crowded Hollywood vegan restaurant Café Gratitude.
Her attire is casual — a simple pair of blue jeans and a white tank top — and she's radiating positive energy despite us having to switch lunch locations at the last minute. It turns out that this is one of her favorite spots, a coincidental, yet optimal choice given our impending conversation about vibrating higher.
"I love the menu. Like saying, 'I'll have the I Am Incredible,' or the plate that asks 'What are you grateful for?'" Brown says, referring to the restaurant's affirmation-themed dishes. She pauses to carefully snap a photo of her "I Am Liberated" pasta kelp noodles — a perfect selection for someone who has, herself, become free in mind and spirit thanks to her discovery of meditation and the power of crystal healing.
“I usually keep a little pouch with me at all times with whatever kind of energies that I want to attract at that moment," she confesses. “I have a lot of crystals that are great for focus, spontaneity and sporadic luck…and also good with discipline."
Her face lights up as she explains her love affair with crystals, and why, despite having a successful career as a radio and television personality, she's finding a greater purpose through her newly-launched lifestyle brand Karma Bliss, a site that educates and gives people the tools to connect deeper with themselves by unlocking their true power and potential through meditation, journaling, and crystal therapy.
"People who enjoy crystals believe they all carry a multitude of energies, and in a very sacred and spiritual way aid you and surrounds you with the kind of energies to manifest the things you're looking to manifest," says Brown. "If you have them and think of what it stands for, just the way life works you're changing your thoughts so you're changing your life and attracting things in, so I keep them tucked in my purse all the time."
Courtesy of Karma Bliss
While there are many who talk the good energy talk, Brown is a testament to the fulfillment that accompanies knowledge of one self and desire for continuous growth. Growing up in Los Angeles, Devi always had a fascination with transformation. As an only child to a single mother she describes herself as someone who was always deeply self-aware even if she didn't quite understand what that meant. She didn't go to church but she had encountered spiritual people throughout her lifetime — family friends who practiced Buddhism, chanting, or meditation.
“I was always into meditation, but I also over thought it. I didn't think I'd have time; I thought it would be hard and I didn't know how. I always would find myself to coming back to asking someone I knew who did it what it was like."
She was curious but the fear that stemmed from her lack of understanding made her shy away from the practice until years later when she began dealing with her own internal struggles. Her constant relocating throughout her childhood and into adulthood left her feeling a sense of instability.
“As women we don't give ourselves enough love and care and acceptance for the fact that I might be all over the place inside because I'm all over the place," says Brown. “Moving across the country is one of the hardest things you can do, especially alone. Even if it is for an amazing opportunity and for a lot of money, it doesn't matter. You're out of your comfort zone; everything is new and different. You have to put yourself out there to meet new people. You don't have your normal safe places."
Shortly after relocating to New York to co-host The Sway In The Morning Show and MTV's Hip Hop POV, she met NFL offensive tackle player Duane Brown and within a year the couple had married. “When we decided to get engaged it was such a strange, transformative time. We met within a few weeks of me moving into New York and I had just started working on a morning show and doing TV stuff and hitting the pavement. At that point I had been away from home a year and a half [from L.A.], but I knew that I loved him so I said I'll take the risk; I'll take the jump."
Courtesy of Devi Brown
The leap was worth it, but admittedly uncomfortable as the newlywed gave up her job to move with her husband to Houston. The transition left her battling with her purpose in life as she assumed the role as a wife to a pro football player.
“At least the first couple of months I didn't have a job title," Brown says. “All of a sudden now I'm somebody's wife and living someplace that I didn't necessarily think I was going to be. It was uncomfortable. It was tough. But what I really started paying attention to was this feeling in the absolute restlessness. Every day I would wake up feeling like I needed to escape and that's a terrible feeling to have, wanting to escape but you have no idea to where. I was very restless and through that restlessness I got really sad because everything I thought I was working towards had been paused. Transformation can only come through pain or restlessness."
"Transformation can only come through pain or restlessness."
Despite her unfamiliarity with the Bible, Brown surrendered her feeling of idleness and prayed for revelation. The answer came in the form of a 10-day meditation retreat with mind-body healing expert Deepak Chokra. It forced the self-proclaimed nomad to be still and to dig deeper within herself. The experience was transformative, and Brown began incorporating it into her lifestyle, picking up more healing practices such as crystal therapy and journaling and attending a number of meditation retreats. But as Brown began her own ascent into self-enlightenment she noticed that as a young person of color she was often the minority in the room.
“I was like I want to be able to share this with people. Your story, your journey is not to be hoarded, the whole point is to complete that circle and share it with another and helping them to unlock whatever they have. I really wanted to create something specifically with helping young professionals to remember to invest into their spirits and their souls through the chaos and through their accomplishments. None of it means anything if you're a wreck of a person inside."
Running her new business Karma Bliss, while fulfilling, has certainly been no easy feat for the new entrepreneur. As the midday host for Houston's 93.7 The Beat, Brown often finds herself running from one job and diving right into her venture, burning the midnight oil as she processes orders, updating the website, and packages her thousands of carefully hand-selected crystals that help the user manifest everything from emotional healing to physical vitality.
"There are so many different kinds and it really depends on what you're trying to attract more of in your life," Brown says. “I really love having crystals throughout my house. I keep a ton by my front door hidden behind our mail carrier because I want to make sure that people with bad energy are not coming into my house or that their energy gets checked at the door and they can claim it when they leave."
Transitioning into being her own boss has required Brown to create her own definition of balance. It's not, as she has discovered, being the perfect wife and career woman a hundred percent of the time, it's realizing that having it all means having the things you want, but not all at once — and being okay with the unexpected outcome.
“I freed myself of that have-it-all desire and mentality because the truth is we're just people. We're just human beings. Having it all is not my goal. Some days I'm going to be an extraordinary wife — I'm going to blow people away with relationship goals and I'm going to be shining in my wifedom. And then other days I'm not going to be able to talk to my husband except for the five minutes right before we go to sleep. And I'm going to be killing it as an entrepreneur."
The 31-year-old credits being whole individually to the foundation of their healthy relationship and staying connected. "A relationship ,no matter how good it is, will never complete you. That's not what it's supposed to do. It's supposed to stretch you; it's supposed to challenge you. You are supposed to experience love but it's not supposed to complete you. There's a huge difference between being ready for a relationship and being lonely. You may think it feels the same because you may think it's a longing for this person or that person; it's deeply different.
"Loneliness is an invitation to fall in love with you, not a warning sign that you need a relationship."
A few years ago Devi shared on her personal blog that she didn't want her marriage to define her, and she's worked tirelessly to ensure that she continues to shine without the title of Mrs. “I was already eight years into my career so that piece of me was so complete and fine-tuned like a well-oiled machine. I don't have time to allow my identity to be wrapped up in his accomplishments because I am so firmly locked into my destiny."
To those who may be struggling with their identity in their marriage, she offers this advice. “I think it's a great opportunity to start looking at our challenges and depression and those restless feelings or insecure feelings as what they're supposed to be, which is warning signs. If you notice that you're feeling jealous or insecure it just means you're out of balance. It means be more gentle with yourself, pay attention to that feeling, and find more things to feed it. Because it's a warning sign, it's an invitation to 'let's get you right'."
Devi has made it her mission to help others unlock the things that keep them from living freely. It's not about a paycheck, but having a passion to help others through their pain and become the highest version of themselves.
“We all end up wherever we're supposed to be in time in the process, but if you can give someone access to tools to help heal them and serve them where they're at, how amazing is that?
To find out more about Devi Brown and her new line of crystals, give her a follow on Instagram: DeviBrown, or visit karmabliss.com.
Originally published in October 2016
Featured image by Porterhouse Los Angeles via Devi Brown/Instagram
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Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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These 11 Married Couples Share Their Keys To Long-Term Marital Success
The late actor Audrey Hepburn once said something that I think a lot of married couples who have at least 10 years under their belt will agree with: “If I get married, I want to be very married.” In my mind, this means very committed, very complementary, and very willing to go the distance — otherwise, what’s the point?
Really, what’s the point?
Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
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1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
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4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
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7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
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9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
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Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
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Featured image by Jasper Cole/Getty Images