Ericka Pittman: From Diddy’s Right-Hand Woman To Chief Marketing Officer At Aquahydrate
There are a few things that Mommy probably told you when you were growing up. Cross your legs when wearing a dress. Chew with your mouth closed. Go to school. Get a job. Get married. Have babies—preferably in that order.
But what she might not have told you was that in your 20s, you’re probably going to go through a quarter-life crisis where you’re trying to find the answers to who you are, what you really want out of life, and how exactly to go about getting it once you walk across that stage to grab that coveted degree. She probably didn’t tell you that before becoming a leader you have to be willing to follow, and that it’s okay to take advantage of your femininity in a masculine environment, or that it’s important to have a thick skin and a firm stance in order to be a boss chick.
It’s something that Ericka Pittman, former Vice President at Combs Enterprises, is touching on in her forthcoming book—a go-to guide on how to navigate the next phase of life when you’re full of questions and starving for answers. It’s her way of giving back to the next generation of lady leaders, sharing over a decade of wisdom on how she climbed the corporate ladder in the world of entertainment and lifestyle marketing where pantsuits outnumber pencil skirts.
“Women have a tendency to hoard positive information. They want to be the only ones that know, and it's like, the world is so abundant, why wouldn't you want to share and make sure everyone has the knowledge and the tools to be great and amazing?”
A question that needs an answer, because in a world that thrives off of self-preservation, it’s important to preserve the next generation by reaching back as you climb up. It’s something that Pittman hopes to spark conversation around as she details her experiences as a woman who once found herself lost and trying to figure out what’s next, which is hard to believe for a person with such an impressive résumé: Working at media giants Time, Inc., Conde Nast, and Vibe Media Group before shifting over to Combs Enterprises where she held various roles in strategy and marketing throughout the company’s eight divisions. In February of 2015, she was promoted to Vice President of the Chairman’s Office, where she interfaces with the senior executives of each of the divisions that she once used to work under.
“A lot of people don't realize that Combs Enterprises is a portfolio brand, so we have probably eight businesses that fall under Combs Enterprises, and each of those divisions have presidents or CEOs. So I interact on a day-to-day basis with each of the presidents on business moves for our divisions and ensure that their goals and objectives are being met for their businesses, and they're on par with the Chairman's vision, and then simultaneously ensuring that the chairman and his office are delivering on the things that we need to deliver for each of the individual properties."
Talk about elevation.
Not to mention that she was hand-selected by Sean “Diddy” Combs himself for a role that, prior to her occupying, didn’t even exist. It’s a new challenge for her, but no sweat. Pittman knows how to navigate the waters of uncertainty, always being one to go where needed and diving in head first into her positions, never backing down but always stepping up. It’s something that the head honcho, whom she respectfully refers to as “Mr. Combs,” would expect of his team of go-getters: no excuses, just results. Being fearless and staying hungry.
It’s also the reason that she got on his radar. Being one of the few people in the company who had experience within each of the brands—she worked on the launch of Revolt Television, closed the deal on DeLeón Tequila for Combs Wines & Spirits, and lead the rebranding for AQUAhydrate packaging among many other projects—made her an optimal choice when the discussion of a position that would create synergy across the brands came about. Pittman credits her successful climb to her flexibility and her problem-solving skills.
"Working with the [Blue Flame Agency] I touched all of the brands, but then also I go where I'm needed, even if I don't work for the business. I have not worn an operational hat until now so this is an exciting opportunity for me to explore an alternative career path. This role could even parlay a COO role. It’s an honor, and I'm super excited about it!”
But just to be clear, Pittman isn’t walking for cheesecake. She was often seen right by the side of the music and marketing mogul, whether it’s at the Revolt Music Conference or jet setting to a business meeting for Combs Wines & Spirits—always impeccably dressed and paparazzi ready.
Though the Brooklyn native didn’t have a ton of internships, she’s always been a fan of hard work and perseverance. Right out of high school, she completed a few fellowships that sparked her interest in marketing and communications. While at Baruch College she juggled a full-time job and a full-time class schedule, and upon graduating didn’t hesitate to take on opportunities and align herself with the right people to help her go to the next level. With each transition, she’s taken the knowledge of her previous experiences with her as she continued her climb up the corporate ladder. Both her successes and her mistakes (she admits to once being a project hoarder who had to learn how to delegate tasks), have enabled her to stay afloat throughout her career.
“The key is to get in, work super hard, make relationships, all hands on deck, get in where you fit in and be a real contribution, because people are watching,” she says.
“Even when you think they're not watching, they are, and good talent is hard to find so if you really are the cut above the rest; you're going to stand out.”
And Pittman mastered the art of standing out as a woman in a male-dominated industry without compromising who she is. For her it’s about femininity over sexuality. The mental, not the physical. Though in a room full of men, donning a pair of Dolce & Gabbana stilettos and a well-fitted dress is definitely one of the perks of being a woman. Style and tactfulness make a confident lady, and in the boardroom Pittman is just as poised as she is primped.
After all, being Diddy’s right-hand woman meant that she has to be able to hold her own, which includes protecting herself and her reputation—with class, of course—when compromising situations arise. Watching her mother and grandmother achieve their own individual levels of success with integrity and professionalism and understanding her birthright helped the budding boss get a good sense of who she was as a woman. “Being a woman is life. If it were not for me, the human race would cease to exist; there's so much power in that.”
Though she does one day hope to play her role in evolution and be a wife and mother, she’s not willing to compromise who she is, and that includes in her dating life. Last year she was a cast member on Bravo TVs The Singles Project—a reality series following six New York singles as they navigate the world of dating as professionals. She's still single, but she is open to someone who’s authentic and morally sound.
In the meantime, she’s taking a page out of Diddy’s book in creating multiple streams of income. In January of 2016, she was appointed as Chief Marketing Officer at Aquahydrate, a Diddy-owned water brand, and if the new powerful role isn't already enough to keep her hands full, she plans on developing a cosmetic line —something that she says is encouraged at Combs Enterprises.
“I think, as women, we have a tendency to put ourselves on the backburner and make our dreams and ambitions a secondary priority, but for me, this work that I'm doing is really important.”
It’s not just about her, but about being an example for those who are looking at her and looking up to her as a successful multi-dimensional woman of color with the professionalism and personality to match.
“I used to not want to let out my real personality because I felt like people were going to question my professionalism because I have a sense of humor, but then it's like, that's just silly. Like why don't I get to be all of these things that God created me to be? And, once I started to do that and make myself a priority and what I'm doing a priority, bigger opportunities started to present themselves.”
It’s not easy, but she’s determined to make it happen without forgetting to make herself a priority. With a packed day-to-day schedule, it’s necessary to slow down, meditate, hydrate, and explore places that her fabulous lifestyle has yet to take her. She encourages every woman to forgo the Louboutin’s and Chanel bags and take a vacation to at least expose themselves to other places and cultures.
More importantly, she encourages young women to remember that life is a journey, and to focus not on the success of their peers or use the accomplishments of their mentors as barometers, but to direct their attention to living a life that’s passionate and fearless.
“I think that life’s a journey; we never stop growing. I believe that every single person is exactly where they're supposed to be in their life, and if we can embrace that and embrace the natural order of things and just be our best selves, we really can maximize life.”
In case you were wondering, that’ll be in her book, too. It’s not something that her mama told her, but what life taught her—no blueprint, no rules, just real experiences.
Featured image by Charles Norfleet/Getty Images
Originally published in March 2017
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
Mavocado/ Getty Images
According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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Feature image by fizkes/ Getty Images