Actress Serayah On How Her Vision Board Helped Her Land 'Empire'
In case you didn't know, Serayah McNeill is one cool chick. Although the actress is most known for her role as Tiana Brown, an emerging pop starwith Rihanna-inspired Caribbean tracks and a mean dutty whine on FOX's hit series Empire, off-screen Serayah is just a 21-year-old coming into her own and adjusting to fame.
xoNecole recently caught up with the LA native, and she dished out some cool fun facts that sealed the deal --she's our new best friend in our heads. Here's what we learned:
She embraces her curls...
"My hair has always been curly, I started to straighten it because I didn't like how big it was. On the show, Lee wanted my hair big and curly every episode, it helped me accept myself and who I am in my natural state. It was really cool to be able to have my character on the show have natural hair."
As far as auditioning...
"I don't want to fall into the pressures of looking a certain way or being a certain size. For example, I've always wanted to be taller. But to be in this industry, I've had to accept every aspect of myself including the fact that I'm short! It is what it is and I'll get the roles that are meant for me."
She and her mom are BFF Goals...
"My mom is my best friend, we talk about everything. She's my reality check. She definitely talks to me from a different perspective--from the outside looking in. She tells me how things really are and at the end of the day, she's usually right!"
Her circle of friends is changing...
"To finally be in the position that I'm in and to see people that have changed around me is an unveiling process. I have started to realize that certain people I've known [before Empire], as well as family, have began to act weird or have said weird things. It's all a part of figuring out who I am at this stage because I have had to question people's motives. Why do they want to be around me? Are they sincere? Why do they want to be my friend? Unfortunately, that does cross my mind. But I try to keep an open mind and give everyone a clean slate until something goes wrong, but it can be tough."
She's a Daddy's girl...
"My dad isn't very outspoken so, when we talk about anything like relationships, it gets a little weird. He's definitely led by example. He taught me to be respected. In talking to him about certain boyfriends I had in high school, he would say, 'You don't need that...you're this type of woman.' I needed that clarity growing up so I would understand my worth. I think that type of advice is best if possible to come from your father."
She's nothing like her character Tiana...
"Tiana, oh God, she's definitely nothing like me when it comes to relationships. She values money and her career a lot more than her dignity. I don't think Empire has given much background on Tiana and why she makes certain decisions as of yet. She's definitely taught me to stay focused and just do me."
Life before the fame...
"I was going to community college majoring in theatre, working at H&M, and modeling on the side as well as singing and dancing. I was booking some commercials, but I really wanted to be on a TV show. I wrote that down on my vision board, and I really started to hone in and focus in on what I really wanted to do. I'm very spiritual, and I think my belief and God as well as always putting good energy into the world has made a difference. Not giving up is a main factor for anything you want. You can't be so hard on yourself. I also have a great support system of people that love me and keep me reassured and motivated. Even when I didn't see anything happening it could be so frustrating. You have to remember the blessing is in the works. And this is all a process. That's also applicable to right now and what I want for my future, everything is still a process, there are a lot of things I'm working towards that I won't give up on."
Vision boards help shape her life...
"I'm still auditioning for a couple movie roles that are now on my vision board. I pray that if it's God's will that I book a certain role, then it's already mine. I try to put everything I have into the roles I'm auditioning for. I do get attached to the character I'm studying prior to the audition, so it still hurts not to book a role, but it could be for a variety of reasons, including a scheduling conflict with Empire. Whatever's next for me, it's going to be amazing and that's what I keep at the forefront of my mind."
She's learned the most on set from...
"Terrence Howard. He has a very giving spirit. When I first met him, during our lunch break, I happened to sit next to him. He, my mom, and I had a great conversation. He's very intellectual. We were speaking recently and he's the complete opposite of his character, Lucious Lyon. In actuality, he's not only very encouraging, but sincere."
She's most proud of...
"In addition to Empire, meeting people that I admire that are fans of mine has been amazing. Patti Labelle and Jennifer Hudson have given me compliments, and that has meant so much to me.
"No matter how many insecurities I have or how hard I am on myself, there are people that see and appreciate my work; I'll always remember those moments.
"As well as having Terrence Howard and Malik Yoba help me with my lines and encourage me to stand out and do my best, I'm also blessed for the opportunities I've had to perform in front of 50,000 people [onstage with Taylor Swift]. I never would have imagined doing something like that. The energy from that is an out-of-body experience. I can understand how artists can be on the road for months at a time doing the same exact show but feeling like it's something new every time. Those moments are all so inspiring and have been the highlights of my year."
Featured image by Michael Bezjian/Getty Images for TAO
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images