'Empire's' Grace Gealey Didn't Know She Was Light Skinned Until She Came To The U.S.
Do we have colorism problem in America? Most definitely.
As we told you a few weeks ago when we profiled her, Grace Gealey was born to a white father and black mother and grew up in the Cayman Islands before traveling to the states to attend college in Florida.
While the move may have been a little bit of a culture shock for the bare-footed island girl who grew up "climbing trees and picking fruit to sell on the side of the road," nothing was more shocking than America's colorism issue among African-Americans.
In an interview with DETAILS magazine, the biracial Empire beauty revealed colorism as the thing that surprised her the most about American women. Grace tells the mag shade wasn't a big deal back home because it was all about culture and that everyone shared the same culture. It wasn't until she moved to the United States, where she received "pushback" from women and their pre-conceived notions about light-skinned women, that she realized she was a light-skinned Black woman.
For me personally, it's the whole light-skinned/dark-skinned dynamic [for women of color]. I mean, there's competition among women everywhere you go. But back home we understand that you can look like a variety of things and still be from the same culture. What I'm saying is that I've never felt like I was a light-skinned black woman. Never felt that way because we shared the same culture back home. But when I came to America, that's when I started to feel that there was a lot of pushback from women. I was definitely made aware that I am light-skinned. I realized that was a thing here.It was something that people felt the need to point out. I guess maybe it's a form of intra racism: I was discriminated against for being light-skinned and there were a lot of labels. Some people assumed that guys might like me more because of my complexion or that I had it easier in general. Which is funny because I've been a victim of prejudice as well: There were times when I have walked into a Rite Aid at 12 o'clock at night and had the store manager stand in the corner and stare at me while I was looking at nail polishes.
It's crazy how she got discriminated against by other Black women for being light-skinned while also getting discriminated against by the white Rite-Aid manager because she's black. At the end of the day, no matter the shade or hue, black is black.
Elsewhere in her interview, Grace talks about how being raised by a single, deaf mother made her independent and what she looks for in a man. Not that she's looking because she's off the market and engaged to co-star Trai Bryers.
On independence while in a relationship:I was raised by a single, black, deaf woman, so I am as independent as they come. I think it took some time for me to allow room for someone else to be there for me. But in my recent years, I've learned that it's okay to be vulnerable and to allow someone else not to take care of me but to love me in a way that's not limited. I feel like I have gotten much better at that.
On the type of man she likes:
I'm a very spiritual person and I believe in God and all that kind of stuff. So my perfect type of guy would be spiritually grounded, extremely respectful and funny because I love to laugh.
On preferred character traits:
I would say to be a gentlemen. A lot of women want the bad boys and we've all gone through that. But I want a man who is respectful, and I don't just mean in the beginning of the relationship. It's a part of who he is: He always opens doors and speaks to me like I am royalty and respects me in that way, even in times of conflict or stress. There is just nothing more attractive.
On the importance of a man having firm abs:
A six or a seven [on a scale of how important firm abs on a man are]. I have dated people who didn't have firm abs and I was super in love with them. I mean, firm abs are nice and we all really want them. But it's not a make or break if you're a dream.
On women fantasizing about finding Prince Charming:
Deep down somewhere we all [fantasize about finding Prince Charming]. I love being an independent woman but sometimes it can be overwhelming. So the idea that there is someone to catch you and not allow you to fall? There is something really darling about that. We all have our weak moments as women so to know that there's someone who loves us when we're feeling insecure and is ready to pump us up when we feel like we didn't give the best presentation at work? It feels great to know that we're enough in today's society considering the way that the media has spun the woman-man dynamic—because women start to feel like we're not enough for the men out there.
Catch her full feature at DETAILS
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
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Featured image by Sir Taylor