Kelly Rowland Gives Advice On Being A Mother And A Wife: 'Don't Forget Your Husband'
Kelly Rowland knows a thing or two about "Rowland" with the punches.
Wife and mom of one precious and handsome baby boy, Titan Witherspoon, Kelly found newfound love and purpose in being a mom. In fact, her upcoming book "Whoa Baby" is all about the journey of motherhood.
Kelly's journey through motherhood had a rocky start. In November 2014, the singer gave birth to her son Titan, but just three weeks later, her world came crashing down when she suffered the lost of her mother.
"When Titan was born, there was so much love in the room. I was speechless. He
took my breath away. [But] It was a tough, emotional point for me. I remember not wanting to be sad for Titan. I wanted to keep myself together because I believe that all that stress and grief can be passed on to your baby. Knowing Titan needed me, and having that to focus on, helped me through."
Three years later, Kelly is not only strong enough for her and her little family, but also for other mothers across the world.
These are the lessons Ms. Witherspoon taught us about mommy-hood:
1. Patience Acquired from Parenting Can Work Wonders on your Perspective on Life
Every child brings joy, but parenting... now that can sometimes be a pain. However, as Kelly Rowland explains, there is a blessing in the burden of parenthood and it's disguised as "patience."
"Having Titan has taught me patience. I didn't know I was as patient as I am with him. I was nervous that I didn't have the patience to be a good mom, because before Titan I had zero. But now I am very patient. The Bible verse 'love is patient' is real! I don't make the little things into big issues like I once did. My OCD had to go out the window. My living room looks like a freaking daycare!"
[Tweet "Being a mom just makes me feel whole."]
2. Making Plans is as Sure of a Thing as Breaking Plans
No surprise is too BIG when you're dealing with your "mini me." Meaning, as much effort as you may have placed into making plans, you have to always brace yourself for the possibility of breaking them too. Fact of the matter is, babies are life's littlest magicians- and they are full of tricks.
"The thing that surprised me most about being a mom is how much of a mess they (kids) can make. My whole attempt at going out was cancelled because of a really bad diaper (laughs). I just remember [poop] shooting across the room and onto my shoe. Yeah, they can do magic tricks like that."
3. A Mommy Support System is Always Clutch
Someone please call 9-1-1.. or not. Sometimes the best advice regarding your tike is from one-mother-to-another. So you may want to reconfigure your speed dial!
"I feel like it can be really overwhelming, so surround yourself with really good people. All of my mom friends have stepped in with wonderful advice. I'm closer [now] with all of my girlfriends who are mothers and I call them all for advice."
4. It's Ok to Get Caught Up with the Baby, but Be sure to Play "Catch up" With Your Boo Too
Aka, don't forget the other half of your heart- your hubby! If you're fortunate to have an awesome partner in this parenting process who does his part, show him some love for both of your sakes. Ask Kelly, her best advice on parenting was to make time for the parents too! Per the advice of good pal Kim Kardashian:
"One great advice I got, and I'm so glad she told me this, is 'Don't forget about your husband.' Because you are just so into that baby, when they come home, if they are eating, what time they are eating, if they are happy and if their diaper is changed. But how did the kid get here? So that was really important for me to focus on. Thank you Kim!"
5. Breastfeeding isn't Everybody's Cup of Milk (Don't Beat Yourself Up Over It)
Although the 34-year-old mother of one was looking forward to bonding with her baby on all levels, she didn't have the "breast" of luck when it came to feeding. But rather than beat herself up over it, Kelly gave in to other alternatives. After all, baby's gotta eat!
"I had my heart set on breastfeeding, but I wasn't producing enough milk. I got down on myself, which I think was mentally limiting my supply," says Rowland. She eventually supplemented with formula.
6. A Napping Baby is a Happy Baby
A sleep schedule for your baby is key to catching Zzz's-- and that goes for both you and your husband. So be sure to figure out what works best when putting your baby to bed.
"Even when the baby was sleeping, Tim and I weren't! That first week, Tim would poke at Titan to make sure he was breathing. Also, I was lax with a sleep schedule in the beginning. But once I read about how babies thrive on a schedule, we implemented one and he woke up rested and happy."
7. It Takes a While to Get Your "Rhythm" Down Pact -- Don't Trip!
Remain humble between your stumbles and trust the process when it comes to this parenting thing. It can be stressful for first time parents that their baby can't communicate their feelings or needs, but it's all in the signs! It took Kelly until the four to five month mark to get her "rhythm":
"That's when I started seeing Titan smile, and so I thought, 'We must be doing something right if he's happy!' He was on the changing table [when he first grinned] and I was singing a silly song to him: 'Titan's so fly! Titan's so fly!' He just looked up at me and smiled and my heart melted.I have always had maternal instincts, but as a mom you figure things out. Now I trust myself and feel stronger, like I can do anything."
[Tweet "As a mom I feel stronger, like I can do anything. - @KellyRowland"]
8. Don't Stress the Shed- You're No Less Perfect for Gaining More Pounds
Need we say more? You created, carried and delivered new life into this world. That's hard, so be easy on yourself. According to Kelly, she advises new moms to celebrate their bodies, even during the "weight"-ing process.
"It takes about a year to get the weight off. Don't beat yourself up if it takes even longer. Write on your mirror in lipstick: 'I had a baby. I'm a superhero."
via Parents Magazine
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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