How This 26-Year-Old Detroit Native Got Her Job Working For Diddy Through Social Media
A lot of us grew up believing the key to success was as simple as DJ Khaled’s major key alerts on Snapchat: Stay in school. Get good grades. Get your degree. #MogulTalk. But we were never really given any guidelines or play-by-plays on how to successfully navigate the ins and outs of young adulthood. We were sort of just thrown into it — a whirlpool of expectations and unexpected circumstances — with little to no warning.
26-year-old Tomeka Kolleh, Associate of the Chairman’s Office at Combs Enterprises, can personally attest to the twenty-something struggle — that horrifying stage of adulthood when you have no frigging clue what your next move is going to be. That crucial moment in life where you either choose to step out on faith or fall by the wayside.
For Tomeka, a first-generation Liberian American from Detroit, stepping out on faith meant quitting her $10/hour gig at a small coffee shop — her first job after graduating with her bachelors degree in public relations from Bowling Green State University — and moving to New York without a job or dollar to her name. It meant going hard or going home. Literally.
Images courtesy of Tomeka Kolleh
Tomeka’s older sister, Deconte, who was living in New York at the time, agreed to help her get on her feet under one condition: Tomeka would have one month to find a job in New York, and if she didn’t, she would have to return home to Detroit. Within a month of moving to NY, Tomeka held up her end of the deal and landed her first job as an admissions counselor at a post-secondary school called Plaza College. A few months later, she wound up picking up an internship at a small PR firm.
“It was a start-up agency, but they had big accounts… We had the money, we had the budget, but we had little manpower,” she said. “So I was an intern working maybe 11- to 12-hour days.”
That small amount of manpower gave Tomeka just enough room to shine.
“I knew Photoshop from back in college,” she said. “They didn’t even know I knew Photoshop until one day [when] they needed edits. I said, ‘Hey, I know how to do it!’… And so that’s when I first learned how to build corporate equity — you have to bring something to the table, or they won’t even think twice.” #MajorKeyAlert
Tomeka had saved up enough money to move into her own place right before she turned 23, but just when things were starting to look up, her situation took a turn for the worse. “I was fired from Plaza College a week before my birthday,” she said. “That was the same time I moved into a bed bug-infested apartment in Brooklyn — the worst experience of my life.”
Frustrated and defeated, Tomeka decided she would leave New York and move back home. But her sister convinced her to stay another week and she wound up picking up a temp job at a media company. Her career took a major turn not long after that.
Tomeka was offered a position a few months later at Remy Martin Cognac as a PR Assistant. While working there, she attended numerous industry events to familiarize herself with industry leads. One of the events she attended was honoring her now boss and mentor Ericka Pittman, who was Vice President of Combs Wines and Spirits at the time. “I knew who [Ericka] was before she could even speak to me. Back then I was obsessed with the industry and what the women of Ciroc were doing for the brand,” she said.
A huge admirer of Pittman, Tomeka took the opportunity to congratulate her and introduce herself. After chatting briefly, Pittman gave Tomeka her card and informed her that Ciroc was always looking for new talent.
Tomeka came across a job posting from Ciroc on Instagram not long after that. She immediately sent Pittman an email expressing her interest in the position and was invited to come in the following day to interview with Pittman and a few other executives at the Bad Boy headquarters. After three months, Tomeka was finally offered the Marketing Coordinator position at Combs Wines and Spirits, the company that houses Ciroc Vodka and Deleon Tequila. She got straight to work on her very first day.
Tomeka (left) with her boss/mentor Ericka Pittman, Vice President of Combs Enterprises.
Tomeka channeled her inner Yoncé and fell right into formation. Under Pittman’s direction, she helped manage the company’s national accounts and new business. Then, in January of 2015, Tomeka was called into Pittman’s office to speak with her about something important. Pittman had just been awarded a huge promotion from Mr. Combs himself and accepted the position on the terms that Tomeka would be promoted as well. But there was a catch — the new position would be based in LA. “At the time I had never even been to LA, and now there I was, being presented an offer to pack my things and move,” she said.
Although she had no intentions of ever moving to the West Coast, Tomeka accepted the offer right on the spot. She figured it was the biggest risk she could take that was safe.
“I had a company that was paying for me to move, I had a place to stay because my best friend had just moved out there, I had a car, and I was working for Sean Combs. So I was like, okay,” she said.
A day after returning from her 25th birthday trip to the Dominican Republic, Tomeka said her good-byes, packed up her things and moved straight to LA to begin her new role as the Associate of the Chairman’s Office for Combs Enterprises. In this position, she assists Pittman on a daily basis to synthesize the vision for all of the brands housed under the Combs Enterprises portfolio: Revolt TV, Sean John, CWS (Ciroc Vodka & Deleon Tequila), Blue Flame Agency, Bad Boy Records and Aquahydrate.
“As cliché as it sounds, every single day is different,” she said. “Some days we’re updating Mr. Combs on the activity of his companies and other days we have two weeks to plan and execute an event.”
Tomeka (left) and Vice President of Ciroc Erin Harris with Brandy, who was awarded the Women of Empowerment Award at the Ciroc Empowered Brunch in February.
Tomeka says a lot of men have a tendency to be intimidated by her career, which can be annoying. “Dating as a Millennial and a woman in the entertainment industry is super hard because now, I feel like guys in our generation — the good ones — have more options, so they treat everybody like options. And if you’re headstrong, and you know what you want, they’re like, ‘You can either play by my rules, or you can get on.’ And I’m like, no, I’m not doing that with you.”
Tomeka says a lot of men have a tendency to be intimidated by her career, which can be annoying.
“I work for Mr. Combs — I am not Puff Daddy. I am not Ericka Pittman. I don’t have a lot of money. So it’s like, don’t be intimidated by me, because I’m just a regular old girl that’s just corny and fun. It’s not that big of a deal.”
But when you’re constantly grinding and making moves, maintaining a love life can be tough. Tomeka learned this firsthand from a previous relationship.
“I was 23 at the time and he had to be maybe 28. He could work from home and he traveled for work. He was well into his career to where he had that power. Me, on the other hand, there were days I would work like 14-hour days, 15-hour days, and I would forget (we made plans). He would say, ‘Let’s go to dinner tonight.’ And I’d tell him ‘Okay.’ And then it’s 8PM and I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I have to cancel.’ It was one of those things where I didn’t have a choice but to choose the option that was going to feed me.”
Even though things didn’t work out, Tomeka says that experience helped her understand why so many women in the industry don’t have successful relationships.
“(Men) are okay with empowering you and supporting you, but at the same time, if you’re picking your job over them consistently, they’re like, ‘Yeah, this is pointless — I’m dating a girl, but she’s barely there.'”
Although Pittman is Tomeka’s boss, as her mentor she makes it a point to encourage her to make time for her personal life. “She’ll sit me down and stress, ‘You have to date, date, date,'” Tomeka said.
While she’s not looking to stay single forever, she’s also not willing to settle for just any guy that comes her way. “I’m conscious about my worth; I’m really conscious about who I give my time to, and I don’t want to settle just to have somebody… I’m cool with waking up and it’s not one text message on my phone. I’m used to it — I’m cool with that,” she said. “I think the biggest thing about dating in this age is don’t just know your worth, but play your worth. Because you can know your worth and you can have morals, but if you’re not exercising your morals and sticking by them, then you’re not living out your morals… I just have to do what’s best for me because some of these guys are adult-sized boys that won’t lead you like a man. So I have to be the [person] that I want to date.”
[Tweet ""The biggest thing about dating in this age is don't just know your worth, but play your worth. "]
Amen? Amen.
In addition to the love and support of her family, Tomeka attributes her inspiring journey to her faith in God. Her personal mantra is: “When the universe wants you to succeed, walk by faith and everything will fall into place on its own time.”
[Tweet ""When the universe wants you to succeed, walk by faith and everything will fall into place on its own time.”"]
“My belief [in God] didn’t become 1000% until I moved to New York,” she said. “You have to stand by faith… You couldn’t tell me when I graduated from college I was going to work for Puff. You couldn’t tell me I was going to work for Remy Martin. I didn’t know what was going to happen when I moved to New York. All the time I was in New York I used to tell myself God is not going to play you. God got me this far, he’s going to work it out. God will take care of it. God will help me get a job. And there have been times when I realized in my career that I’m scary. So if it wasn’t for God, I would’ve settled a long time ago.”
Tomeka closed with some wise words of encouragement for other Millennials who are embarking on the unknown path to success.
“I would say challenge yourself to be committed to your passion and purpose as much as possible. No, it might not come with the most money right now. No, it won’t instantly be gratifying and glamorous. But if you stay committed to your passion and purpose, all your dreams will SLOWLY come into fruition. So many times I see my peers bouncing from one hustle to the next without ever allowing one to ever truly manifest. Be committed and love it until it hurts.”
Related Post:Ericka Pittman: Diddy's Right Hand Woman Is Bringing Beauty To The Boardroom
Originally posted on According to Kori.
Kori A. Winters is a Black female 20-something with an unyielding passion and God-given purpose to motivate others through her creative talents. A 2012 graduate of Howard University, Kori earned her B.B.A. in marketing, which works hand in hand with her passion for writing and social media. Outside of her day job as a communications and social media coordinator, she runs her own blog, "According2Kori.com: The Random Thoughts of a Single Black Female", which serves as an outlet for her to uplift others, namely young women, through the sharing of Kori's life experiences and perspectives. Kori plans to use her blog as a platform to launch other projects centered around promoting principles of faith, health and self-love.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
These 11 Married Couples Share Their Keys To Long-Term Marital Success
The late actor Audrey Hepburn once said something that I think a lot of married couples who have at least 10 years under their belt will agree with: “If I get married, I want to be very married.” In my mind, this means very committed, very complementary, and very willing to go the distance — otherwise, what’s the point?
Really, what’s the point?
Thing is, with the divorce rate still being higher than it ever should be (for the record, a husband is not a boyfriend, and a wife is not a girlfriend; a marriage is serious business, y’all) and acting married being praised (or at least acknowledged) more than actually being married seems to be — folks who 1) are married and are looking for some hacks that will help with relational longevity or 2) want to be married someday and want insight on how to make their future marriage last are constantly seeking truly beneficial material.
Can you Google articles with random bullet points? Sure. And I’m not discouraging it. Every little bit of wisdom that you can pull, I fully support. However, the reason why I like to do articles like this one from time to time is there is something to be said from hearing real talk from multiple sources on the same topic who have some solid wisdom and knowledge on a particular topic.
Today? 11 married couples who were willing to talk about how they’ve been able to make it to several wedding anniversaries with a smile on their face and no regrets for choosing who they chose. Let’s all sit at their feet for just a moment.
*Middle names are always used in my content that’s like this so that people can speak freely*
Getty Images
1. Kyle and Adrienne. Married 12 Years.
Kyle: “Some of your readers aren’t going to want to hear this but it’s worked for my marriage: people need to lower their expectations sometimes; I mean, men and women. We go into marriage with stuff that movies told us, social media told us, friends who are always single told us about what we should expect from someone, and then want to fault the person when they’re not what we made up in our head. Everyone should have standards but if you’re expecting your spouse to be some living version of a fairy tale character, you’re going to be disappointed almost every day of your life. Drop those expectations some and watch your relationship be a lot less stressful.”
Adrienne: “Talk to people who respect your man about your marriage. I’ve never believed that you shouldn’t ever go to anyone when you need some support. Even the Bible says that there is safety in wise counsel [Proverbs 11:4]. Too many women talk to women who don’t respect men, in general, let alone their husbands, and so that’s where things go left. Sometimes, you need an ‘outside in’ perspective. But if that woman is always taking shots at men, doesn’t respect marriage, or isn’t someone who holds your man in high regard, don’t ask her for advice. Really, you should ask yourself why you’re friends with her at all.”
Shellie here: I’m big on engaged and married couples having a “village” of sorts for their relationship, too. Check out “Why Every Engaged Couple Needs A 'Marriage Registry'” to get a good idea of what I mean.
2. Levi and Paulette. Married for 15 Years.
Levi: “Some of you have probably heard of the 7-7-7 rule. It’s where couples go on a date every seven days, have a weekend getaway every seven weeks, and go on a romantic trip of some sort every seven months. My wife and I do the 2-2-2 rule instead because sometimes our schedule and budget make ‘7’ difficult. It has gotten easier since Shellie told us about the sex jar. Bottom line, if you’re waiting for time to just open up to be with your spouse, that ain’t gonna happen. Schedule intimacy, including sex. Prioritizing it is better than saying you’re gonna be spontaneous and…never are.”
Paulette: “Initiate sex, dammit. When Shellie told us that men initiate sex most of the time, and then I thought about how often I used to push my husband away whenever he did it — I never really thought about how that made him feel until I put myself in his shoes. We’ve got to stop having all of this understanding for why women cheat when it comes to them not feeling desired or not getting attention when we’re the same way to our husbands. Your marriage isn’t ‘Young and the Restless’, where you’re just supposed to wait for your man to make the move. If you want to feel wanted, do the same thing for him.”
Shellie here: What’s a sex jar, you ask? You can read more about it via “5 Reasons Why Every Married Couple Needs A Sex Jar.”
3. Matthew and Gaia. Married for 17 Years.
Matthew: “Reenact some of your favorite times together. My wife and I do that semi-often. We’ll go back to where we had our first date, or we’ll go back to the hotel where we had some of the best sex before. Bringing back memories of when you felt the best together can give you the motivation to stay together to create some new memories to ‘play out’ later on.”
Gaia: “If you want to ‘mom your husband,’ you need to have kids — or at least get a dog! I didn’t realize how bossy I was until I got married. It’s because I saw my mom be that way with my dad. In my eyes, I thought that’s what love looked like until I watched how my in-laws were. They don’t try to change each other, and they definitely don’t make any demands. They’re very polite. I think a lot of married people are rude to their partner. Don’t be that.”
Getty Images
4. Joseph and Carletta. Married for 10 Years.
Joseph: “Go to therapy for your childhood. I’m dead serious. No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways. If you’re at the point where you think therapy is needed, go alone and deal with your childhood first. It did miracles for me and mine.”
"No one is going to show you yourself like your wife will, and I realized that a lot of my hang-ups came from unhealed childhood stuff. It’s hard to be an adult in your marriage when you’re still emotionally a kid in a lot of ways."
Carletta: “Meditate together once a day. Even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes, you need to carve out a moment to be mindful, focus on each other, and slow the world down. [Joseph and I] have been doing it for a couple of years now; it’s totally changed the way we communicate. Meditation reminds us to put each other first; that if we’re focused on each other, we can take on…whatever.”
5. Zeke and Rachelle. Married for 12 Years.
Zeke: “An argument is not a fight and a debate is not an argument. Learn that and you’re home-free. That’s all I got.”
Rachelle: “That advice that you just got? That sums up what it’s like to live with my husband. He’s very cut-and-dry, direct, and not wordy. That used to bug the hell out of me until I realized how wordy I was and then accepted that I wouldn’t want ‘two of me’ in the house [LOL]. He’s right. You can have a difference of opinion, and it be a debate. You can not find a middle ground on something and it turns into an argument. Neither of those is a red flag. It just comes with being with someone who is as much of an individual as you are.”
6. Taurus and Madison. Married for 22 Years.
Taurus: “Be prepared for your partner to change — not a couple of times, quite a bit. And when they change, that alters the relationship because now it’s not the person you stood with on your wedding day; it’s someone else. People get divorced so much because they are inflexible; they expect their spouse to never switch up and that’s just not how life is. If you’re rigid, controlling, or don’t know how to adjust, you don’t need to marry anybody. You’re gonna be miserable, and so will they.”
Madison: “Pray before sex. Before my husband and I got married, we had quite a bit of sexual history that caused us to do some comparing, and that led to resentment. In marriage, we had to adjust to how it’s more than just what we’re getting from another person. Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred. It might sound weird at first. Just try it. I don’t think you’ll regret it at all.”
"Married sex comes with so much more spirituality and responsibility. Prayer before sex reminds us to see it from a spiritual lens — and that makes the experience more intense and sacred."
Getty Images
7. Karl and LaTasha. Married for 9 Years.
Karl: “Check in with your partner twice a day. In the morning before leaving the house and at night before going to sleep. If you work outside of the home, a lot can happen during the course of one day, so you shouldn’t assume that the person you left in the morning is who you are coming home to. I don’t mean sharing each other’s schedules or to-do lists. I mean, asking your spouse, ‘How are you doing? How are you really doing?’. It’s a smart way to take note of their mood and needs so that you are never blindsided.”
LaTasha: “Give each other some privacy. I have never been the kind of woman to go through a man’s phone, and I won’t start. If you think that you have to be a detective in your relationship, why are you in it in the first place? I know that Karl would give me codes and passwords if I wanted them because we’ve talked about it all before. Knowing that he would is enough for me. Marriage is an institution, but damn, it shouldn’t feel like jail.”
8. Thomas and Wynter. Married for 15 Years.
Thomas: “Ask your partner what their sexual needs are. Never assume that they haven’t changed because if we all agree that we are constantly growing and evolving as people, why would sex be exempt? Don’t personalize what they say about it either. All of us have sexual fantasies and interests that we keep to ourselves because we don’t know what our partner will think or ‘cause we think that they will create stories in their head about what made us think that way. I’ve learned that intimacy is feeling okay with sharing the deep stuff. The more comfortable a man, especially, is with doing that, the better the sex will be for everyone because talking about stuff like that is like taking down some walls.”
Wynter: “It’s okay to take one vacation a year with your girls and one by yourself. Just don’t go with people who don’t have the same standards as you, and as far as your solo venture, it doesn’t need to be longer than a long weekend. One thing that they don’t tell you about marriage is how there are times when you will feel like it is monotonous because of the routine of everything. A girls’ trip reminds you to get back to you outside of being someone’s wife or mom, and the trip alone is when you can sit around and do whatever you have to negotiate most of them. And yes, your man should be given the same courtesy.”
Getty Images
9. Allen and Yvette. Married for 11 Years.
Allen: “STOP. BRINGING. UP. OLD. SH-T. SH-T. Nothing creates walls in a marriage more than you telling someone that you forgave them, and then the minute something else happens, here you go with the rap sheet of wrongs. Forgiving someone means that you are pardoning them, and that’s not what you’re doing if you’re constantly holding stuff over their head. One thing that marriage will show you is how bad of a forgiver you are. Most people suck at it, if we’re gonna be real about it.”
Yvette: “I already know that some women are going to assume that my man must’ve done something to say all of that (LOL). He’s a much better forgiver than I am, believe it or not. The real plot twist is, what gets on his nerves more than anything, is when I bring up stuff that he’s forgiven me for. Allen is the kind of man [who] hates to live in the past. I’ve grown a lot because of that. I think my advice would be to stay focused on solutions and tomorrow instead of problems and yesterday.”
Allen: “Sh- t, that’s bars, babe!”
Shellie here: INDEED.
10. Brennton and Danyelle. Married for 16 Years.
Brennton: “Why anyone who is trash at forgiving would get married is beyond me. It’s delusional to the nth degree to think that you are worthy of forgiveness and others aren’t — or that what you do isn’t ‘as bad,’ and that’s why you deserve forgiveness and others don’t. My wife and I have a lot of time under our belts. I’m here to tell you that there will be something, daily, that you will need to forgive your partner for on some level. If you can’t see yourself being open to that, marriage simply isn’t for you.”
Danyelle: “I don’t know who taught so many of us that being passive-aggressive will get us what we want, but it’s a damn lie. If something is wrong, stop saying ‘nothing’ when your man asks you what’s up because, if you’ve got a man like mine, he’s gonna say ‘Okay’ and go on about his day. Brennton often says that my refusing to speak isn’t his responsibility, it’s mine. That used to piss me off because, deep down, I knew that he was right. Oh, and chill on the grudge-holding too. With guys, that’s not going to get you anywhere either.”
11. Christopher and Yvonne. Married for 26 Years.
Christopher: “Have more loyalty for your spouse than you do your closest friend. Too many people don’t think like that. If you’ve got a friend since college, you’ve been through some things and you’ve learned to forgive and move past it. If you can’t see your wife or husband in this way, why did you get married? You should never have more grace for someone who you didn’t take vows with; that’s ludicrous. Before anyone else, I’m going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It’s because I value her more than anyone. That’s what marriage is.”
"Before anyone else, I'm going to prioritize reconciling with my wife. It's because I value her more than anyone. That's what marriage is."
Yvonne: “Even if you’re not about ‘traditional gender roles,’ discuss what the expectations are for the home. People don’t divorce over cheating as much as getting sick of beard clippings in the bathroom sink or cars that look like pocketbooks. When you sign up for marriage, you are doing daily life with another person. Articulate your expectations. Listen to theirs. Be flexible until you both can make it work. Do that, and you’ll look up, and it’s been 20 years already.”
____
Gems. Pure gems, y’all.
You know, popular consultant Barbara De Angelis once said, “Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” And love? Love is a choice.
And so, whether you’re married, engaged, or simply desire marriage in the future, hopefully, these tips will help you to choose how you love your spouse (or future spouse)…better.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Jasper Cole/Getty Images