How This 26-Year-Old Detroit Native Got Her Job Working For Diddy Through Social Media
A lot of us grew up believing the key to success was as simple as DJ Khaled’s major key alerts on Snapchat: Stay in school. Get good grades. Get your degree. #MogulTalk. But we were never really given any guidelines or play-by-plays on how to successfully navigate the ins and outs of young adulthood. We were sort of just thrown into it — a whirlpool of expectations and unexpected circumstances — with little to no warning.
26-year-old Tomeka Kolleh, Associate of the Chairman’s Office at Combs Enterprises, can personally attest to the twenty-something struggle — that horrifying stage of adulthood when you have no frigging clue what your next move is going to be. That crucial moment in life where you either choose to step out on faith or fall by the wayside.
For Tomeka, a first-generation Liberian American from Detroit, stepping out on faith meant quitting her $10/hour gig at a small coffee shop — her first job after graduating with her bachelors degree in public relations from Bowling Green State University — and moving to New York without a job or dollar to her name. It meant going hard or going home. Literally.
Images courtesy of Tomeka Kolleh
Tomeka’s older sister, Deconte, who was living in New York at the time, agreed to help her get on her feet under one condition: Tomeka would have one month to find a job in New York, and if she didn’t, she would have to return home to Detroit. Within a month of moving to NY, Tomeka held up her end of the deal and landed her first job as an admissions counselor at a post-secondary school called Plaza College. A few months later, she wound up picking up an internship at a small PR firm.
“It was a start-up agency, but they had big accounts… We had the money, we had the budget, but we had little manpower,” she said. “So I was an intern working maybe 11- to 12-hour days.”
That small amount of manpower gave Tomeka just enough room to shine.
“I knew Photoshop from back in college,” she said. “They didn’t even know I knew Photoshop until one day [when] they needed edits. I said, ‘Hey, I know how to do it!’… And so that’s when I first learned how to build corporate equity — you have to bring something to the table, or they won’t even think twice.” #MajorKeyAlert
Tomeka had saved up enough money to move into her own place right before she turned 23, but just when things were starting to look up, her situation took a turn for the worse. “I was fired from Plaza College a week before my birthday,” she said. “That was the same time I moved into a bed bug-infested apartment in Brooklyn — the worst experience of my life.”
Frustrated and defeated, Tomeka decided she would leave New York and move back home. But her sister convinced her to stay another week and she wound up picking up a temp job at a media company. Her career took a major turn not long after that.
Tomeka was offered a position a few months later at Remy Martin Cognac as a PR Assistant. While working there, she attended numerous industry events to familiarize herself with industry leads. One of the events she attended was honoring her now boss and mentor Ericka Pittman, who was Vice President of Combs Wines and Spirits at the time. “I knew who [Ericka] was before she could even speak to me. Back then I was obsessed with the industry and what the women of Ciroc were doing for the brand,” she said.
A huge admirer of Pittman, Tomeka took the opportunity to congratulate her and introduce herself. After chatting briefly, Pittman gave Tomeka her card and informed her that Ciroc was always looking for new talent.
Tomeka came across a job posting from Ciroc on Instagram not long after that. She immediately sent Pittman an email expressing her interest in the position and was invited to come in the following day to interview with Pittman and a few other executives at the Bad Boy headquarters. After three months, Tomeka was finally offered the Marketing Coordinator position at Combs Wines and Spirits, the company that houses Ciroc Vodka and Deleon Tequila. She got straight to work on her very first day.
Tomeka (left) with her boss/mentor Ericka Pittman, Vice President of Combs Enterprises.
Tomeka channeled her inner Yoncé and fell right into formation. Under Pittman’s direction, she helped manage the company’s national accounts and new business. Then, in January of 2015, Tomeka was called into Pittman’s office to speak with her about something important. Pittman had just been awarded a huge promotion from Mr. Combs himself and accepted the position on the terms that Tomeka would be promoted as well. But there was a catch — the new position would be based in LA. “At the time I had never even been to LA, and now there I was, being presented an offer to pack my things and move,” she said.
Although she had no intentions of ever moving to the West Coast, Tomeka accepted the offer right on the spot. She figured it was the biggest risk she could take that was safe.
“I had a company that was paying for me to move, I had a place to stay because my best friend had just moved out there, I had a car, and I was working for Sean Combs. So I was like, okay,” she said.
A day after returning from her 25th birthday trip to the Dominican Republic, Tomeka said her good-byes, packed up her things and moved straight to LA to begin her new role as the Associate of the Chairman’s Office for Combs Enterprises. In this position, she assists Pittman on a daily basis to synthesize the vision for all of the brands housed under the Combs Enterprises portfolio: Revolt TV, Sean John, CWS (Ciroc Vodka & Deleon Tequila), Blue Flame Agency, Bad Boy Records and Aquahydrate.
“As cliché as it sounds, every single day is different,” she said. “Some days we’re updating Mr. Combs on the activity of his companies and other days we have two weeks to plan and execute an event.”
Tomeka (left) and Vice President of Ciroc Erin Harris with Brandy, who was awarded the Women of Empowerment Award at the Ciroc Empowered Brunch in February.
Tomeka says a lot of men have a tendency to be intimidated by her career, which can be annoying. “Dating as a Millennial and a woman in the entertainment industry is super hard because now, I feel like guys in our generation — the good ones — have more options, so they treat everybody like options. And if you’re headstrong, and you know what you want, they’re like, ‘You can either play by my rules, or you can get on.’ And I’m like, no, I’m not doing that with you.”
Tomeka says a lot of men have a tendency to be intimidated by her career, which can be annoying.
“I work for Mr. Combs — I am not Puff Daddy. I am not Ericka Pittman. I don’t have a lot of money. So it’s like, don’t be intimidated by me, because I’m just a regular old girl that’s just corny and fun. It’s not that big of a deal.”
But when you’re constantly grinding and making moves, maintaining a love life can be tough. Tomeka learned this firsthand from a previous relationship.
“I was 23 at the time and he had to be maybe 28. He could work from home and he traveled for work. He was well into his career to where he had that power. Me, on the other hand, there were days I would work like 14-hour days, 15-hour days, and I would forget (we made plans). He would say, ‘Let’s go to dinner tonight.’ And I’d tell him ‘Okay.’ And then it’s 8PM and I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I have to cancel.’ It was one of those things where I didn’t have a choice but to choose the option that was going to feed me.”
Even though things didn’t work out, Tomeka says that experience helped her understand why so many women in the industry don’t have successful relationships.
“(Men) are okay with empowering you and supporting you, but at the same time, if you’re picking your job over them consistently, they’re like, ‘Yeah, this is pointless — I’m dating a girl, but she’s barely there.'”
Although Pittman is Tomeka’s boss, as her mentor she makes it a point to encourage her to make time for her personal life. “She’ll sit me down and stress, ‘You have to date, date, date,'” Tomeka said.
While she’s not looking to stay single forever, she’s also not willing to settle for just any guy that comes her way. “I’m conscious about my worth; I’m really conscious about who I give my time to, and I don’t want to settle just to have somebody… I’m cool with waking up and it’s not one text message on my phone. I’m used to it — I’m cool with that,” she said. “I think the biggest thing about dating in this age is don’t just know your worth, but play your worth. Because you can know your worth and you can have morals, but if you’re not exercising your morals and sticking by them, then you’re not living out your morals… I just have to do what’s best for me because some of these guys are adult-sized boys that won’t lead you like a man. So I have to be the [person] that I want to date.”
[Tweet ""The biggest thing about dating in this age is don't just know your worth, but play your worth. "]
Amen? Amen.
In addition to the love and support of her family, Tomeka attributes her inspiring journey to her faith in God. Her personal mantra is: “When the universe wants you to succeed, walk by faith and everything will fall into place on its own time.”
[Tweet ""When the universe wants you to succeed, walk by faith and everything will fall into place on its own time.”"]
“My belief [in God] didn’t become 1000% until I moved to New York,” she said. “You have to stand by faith… You couldn’t tell me when I graduated from college I was going to work for Puff. You couldn’t tell me I was going to work for Remy Martin. I didn’t know what was going to happen when I moved to New York. All the time I was in New York I used to tell myself God is not going to play you. God got me this far, he’s going to work it out. God will take care of it. God will help me get a job. And there have been times when I realized in my career that I’m scary. So if it wasn’t for God, I would’ve settled a long time ago.”
Tomeka closed with some wise words of encouragement for other Millennials who are embarking on the unknown path to success.
“I would say challenge yourself to be committed to your passion and purpose as much as possible. No, it might not come with the most money right now. No, it won’t instantly be gratifying and glamorous. But if you stay committed to your passion and purpose, all your dreams will SLOWLY come into fruition. So many times I see my peers bouncing from one hustle to the next without ever allowing one to ever truly manifest. Be committed and love it until it hurts.”
Related Post:Ericka Pittman: Diddy's Right Hand Woman Is Bringing Beauty To The Boardroom
Originally posted on According to Kori.
Kori A. Winters is a Black female 20-something with an unyielding passion and God-given purpose to motivate others through her creative talents. A 2012 graduate of Howard University, Kori earned her B.B.A. in marketing, which works hand in hand with her passion for writing and social media. Outside of her day job as a communications and social media coordinator, she runs her own blog, "According2Kori.com: The Random Thoughts of a Single Black Female", which serves as an outlet for her to uplift others, namely young women, through the sharing of Kori's life experiences and perspectives. Kori plans to use her blog as a platform to launch other projects centered around promoting principles of faith, health and self-love.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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