Using A Crystal Dildo Changed More Than My Sex Life
Nearly two months ago, I sat in my bed, face full of tears, asking myself to step back and dig deep.
Dig deep into what it was that I was doing wrong when it came to my relationships. Because while this guy had cheated and that guy had just been completely "not shit" -- I had to admit that there was a reason I continued to attract these men.
After weeks of seeing various people using their crystals, I had nothing much to lose and a couple dollars to spare. So I began doing the research on the healing power of crystals, went into a local shop in the city, and made my first crystal purchase.
Initially, when I began the journey, I constantly wondered if and when I'd know that the crystals were working. I soon learned that this journey would be faith-based. The impact of the crystal would happen, but I wouldn't be able to see it, just feel its magic working. Fast forward to now and those crystals have become permanent fixtures to my hand -- I carry them with me everywhere.
But, it wasn't long after that I was able to get my hands on my first ever dildo -- a Chakrub -- I had spent weeks infatuated by the stories of intimacy brought on by this 100 percent crystal dildo.
While initially set on the "The Original Heart" made of Rose Quartz, I wound up with The Rabbit Jade (made of White Jasper) and, in doing so, I learned that sometimes you don't choose it, but the crystal chooses you.
The Jade seemed to come in my life at the right time and it was a quality I hadn't realized that I was in need of -- peace.
Still not knowing much about crystals, I took my time before diving into the masturbation.
I decided to open my mind and cuddle (as others had done) with my Jade during the night and while at first it seemed weird, it was also somehow comforting.
"It was the intimacy I had so badly been craving, the intimacy that no other toy has been able to provide me."
An intimacy that closely mirrors that of actually having another being's body heat laying next to you.
It offered me a quiet mind and the best sleep that I'd had in almost a year. Sure, it could be chalked up to many other things -- perhaps even a placebo effect of sorts. But if it is, and I don't think it is, I certainly wouldn't be complaining about a state of delusion that brings me peace every. single. night. It further comforted me that Chakrubs owner Vanessa Cuccia put this theory in perspective for me with some thought-provoking words of wisdom:
Finally, after weeks of just cuddling, I finally dared to look for pleasure in my Chakrub, and with the help of a little lube, the experience was every bit as magical as the crystal itself. The white, hard phallic crystal warmed to match my rising body heat. My masturbation experience was transformed, it was no longer just me scratching an itch for sex but me filling my body with all of its desires -- from a good orgasm to a feeling of completeness that I secretly yearned for.
"It was no longer just scratching an itch for sex but me filling my body with all of its desires."
While I still use my battery-operated toys because they meet different needs for me, it goes without saying that my Jade has changed my solo sex experience for the better and there's simply no unknowing that feeling.
That said, there may be some of you that are curious about exploring the power of crystals yourself and while I'm still new to this game and can't really get in-depth with helpful info -- I was able to get a few more bits of advice from Cuccia that will help guide you in your early journey.
1. Comprehension Is Key
If you're anything like me, then taking in all the information about Crystals may prove to be a bit overwhelming and even confusing, but Vanessa recommends Judy Hall as "a great place to start" given the comprehensive nature of her literature pertaining to crystals and their chakra correlation.
2. Choosing Crystals
Of course, it may seem fairly simple to choose a crystal and it is in the end, but reading all the sources out there may leave you feeling a little uncertain. Cuccia suggests that you, "Go for a mix of higher reasoning and intuitive guidance." However, with Chakrubs she points out that you should, "start with what you want on a physical level."
She adds, "Do you want something more generous in size, more of a tickle, do you want a curve, etc? [After deciding] then look at the Chakrubs with what's available in the shape that you want and read the descriptions of the crystal. Allow your intuition to speak to you about what crystal to go with, and you have your answer."
3. Cleanliness Is Next To Goddessness
The one bit of advice that will be consistent around the board is the cleansing of your crystal. You see without cleansing it you won't be able to cleanse you. The crystal retains all the energy that it comes into contact with, so you must clean and occasionally recharge to get the full benefit of it. This is no different when it comes to your Chakrub, Cuccia insists that you, "Charge them in the moonlight, the sunlight" while you can "cleanse them in the smoke of sage, cleanse them with visualization, or sound."
*Originally published Black Girls Vibe
Featured image by Getty Images
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
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