Using A Crystal Dildo Changed More Than My Sex Life
Nearly two months ago, I sat in my bed, face full of tears, asking myself to step back and dig deep.
Dig deep into what it was that I was doing wrong when it came to my relationships. Because while this guy had cheated and that guy had just been completely "not shit" -- I had to admit that there was a reason I continued to attract these men.
After weeks of seeing various people using their crystals, I had nothing much to lose and a couple dollars to spare. So I began doing the research on the healing power of crystals, went into a local shop in the city, and made my first crystal purchase.
Initially, when I began the journey, I constantly wondered if and when I'd know that the crystals were working. I soon learned that this journey would be faith-based. The impact of the crystal would happen, but I wouldn't be able to see it, just feel its magic working. Fast forward to now and those crystals have become permanent fixtures to my hand -- I carry them with me everywhere.
But, it wasn't long after that I was able to get my hands on my first ever dildo -- a Chakrub -- I had spent weeks infatuated by the stories of intimacy brought on by this 100 percent crystal dildo.
While initially set on the "The Original Heart" made of Rose Quartz, I wound up with The Rabbit Jade (made of White Jasper) and, in doing so, I learned that sometimes you don't choose it, but the crystal chooses you.
The Jade seemed to come in my life at the right time and it was a quality I hadn't realized that I was in need of -- peace.
Still not knowing much about crystals, I took my time before diving into the masturbation.
I decided to open my mind and cuddle (as others had done) with my Jade during the night and while at first it seemed weird, it was also somehow comforting.
"It was the intimacy I had so badly been craving, the intimacy that no other toy has been able to provide me."
An intimacy that closely mirrors that of actually having another being's body heat laying next to you.
It offered me a quiet mind and the best sleep that I'd had in almost a year. Sure, it could be chalked up to many other things -- perhaps even a placebo effect of sorts. But if it is, and I don't think it is, I certainly wouldn't be complaining about a state of delusion that brings me peace every. single. night. It further comforted me that Chakrubs owner Vanessa Cuccia put this theory in perspective for me with some thought-provoking words of wisdom:
Finally, after weeks of just cuddling, I finally dared to look for pleasure in my Chakrub, and with the help of a little lube, the experience was every bit as magical as the crystal itself. The white, hard phallic crystal warmed to match my rising body heat. My masturbation experience was transformed, it was no longer just me scratching an itch for sex but me filling my body with all of its desires -- from a good orgasm to a feeling of completeness that I secretly yearned for.
"It was no longer just scratching an itch for sex but me filling my body with all of its desires."
While I still use my battery-operated toys because they meet different needs for me, it goes without saying that my Jade has changed my solo sex experience for the better and there's simply no unknowing that feeling.
That said, there may be some of you that are curious about exploring the power of crystals yourself and while I'm still new to this game and can't really get in-depth with helpful info -- I was able to get a few more bits of advice from Cuccia that will help guide you in your early journey.
1. Comprehension Is Key
If you're anything like me, then taking in all the information about Crystals may prove to be a bit overwhelming and even confusing, but Vanessa recommends Judy Hall as "a great place to start" given the comprehensive nature of her literature pertaining to crystals and their chakra correlation.
2. Choosing Crystals
Of course, it may seem fairly simple to choose a crystal and it is in the end, but reading all the sources out there may leave you feeling a little uncertain. Cuccia suggests that you, "Go for a mix of higher reasoning and intuitive guidance." However, with Chakrubs she points out that you should, "start with what you want on a physical level."
She adds, "Do you want something more generous in size, more of a tickle, do you want a curve, etc? [After deciding] then look at the Chakrubs with what's available in the shape that you want and read the descriptions of the crystal. Allow your intuition to speak to you about what crystal to go with, and you have your answer."
3. Cleanliness Is Next To Goddessness
The one bit of advice that will be consistent around the board is the cleansing of your crystal. You see without cleansing it you won't be able to cleanse you. The crystal retains all the energy that it comes into contact with, so you must clean and occasionally recharge to get the full benefit of it. This is no different when it comes to your Chakrub, Cuccia insists that you, "Charge them in the moonlight, the sunlight" while you can "cleanse them in the smoke of sage, cleanse them with visualization, or sound."
*Originally published Black Girls Vibe
Featured image by Getty Images
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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My name is Yasmine Jameelah, and I’m a founder, journalist, freelance writer, and dog mama. Wellness is at the intersection of everything that I do.
Six years ago, I started a small wellness community on Instagram after embarking on a healing journey in my mid-twenties that I documented via a blog where I wrote about healing, therapy, celibacy, and growth after what felt like years of chaos. Six years later, that wellness community has blossomed into one of the largest online wellness platforms for Black women called Transparent Black Girl which has a reach of over five million Black women.
It still sounds crazy to say that aloud, to know that a 24-year-old girl planted the seeds of the life that this 30-year-old woman gets to live now.
While I was growing my company, because my love for writing was so strong, I went back to school and obtained my master's in journalism. I’ve worked as a freelance writer, an editor, and a frequent contributor to publications that I respect greatly, xoNecole being one of them! My journalism career has been a reflection of my passion and heart for wellness and the culture. My day-to-day is busy, but we manage to get it done, and on the days that I can’t, I give myself grace to do what I can with the time that I have.
My days consist of events, long walks with my dog, freelance pitching, and deciding what content creation and events will look like for my wellness collective, Transparent & Black.
Now, follow me on a random day in my life.
Morning
5:00 a.m.
My Goldendoodle keeps me on a schedule, so every morning, like clockwork, he wakes me up to use the bathroom and eat breakfast, at 5 a.m.! Am I usually over it first thing in the morning? 100%, but his being on a schedule challenges me to stick with mine and start the day on a productive note. He’s a wellness dog which means I feed him home-cooked meals and give him supplements daily to support his health, and he has a daily dental treat to keep his teeth healthy. Canine dental hygiene is imperative for a long life and a good smelling breath!
Today, I’m heading into the city, and I’ll be there almost all day, so when I’m gone that long, I take him to doggy daycare.
7:00 a.m.
Doggy daycare drop-off is filled with tons of barks, and my dog is practically jumping out of the car with excitement to see his friends. Now, some of y’all might be thinking, doggy daycare, sis, that’s too much for a dog! But it’s not, socialization is key for dogs, and so is keeping my house intact when I’m gone for long periods of time. Does he go daily? No, we aren’t rich (yet, we gotta manifest!), but when my dog is happy and experiencing play, and I’m happy attending events, I feel accomplished.
Having a pet is a serious responsibility, and I pride myself on knowing that I am invested in his mental and emotional health by encouraging his socialization with his friends.
7:30 a.m.
Headed to my local coffee shop to grab my go-to order. Iced coffee, a single shot of espresso, half and half, and 3 pumps of agave. Winter, spring, summer, fall, I am an iced coffee girl. I love it, especially after a workout where I’ve broken a sweat - nothing about having hot coffee after I’ve been sweating for over an hour feels good to me.
8:00 a.m.
Back home listening to Carlos King's commentary on YouTube in the shower (what can I say, commentary on reality TV drama relaxes me, don’t judge!) and prepping for the first stop on the agenda for today which is an event in the city. Without traffic, I’m about a 25-minute drive to Manhattan but it’s rush hour, so that 25 minutes is about 55 which means I have to head out soon so that I can arrive on time.
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9:00 a.m.
Headed to Manhattan for a Black History Month event with Meta, Peloton, and We The Culture. I wanted to take the train, but I ran out of time, so I hopped in an Uber because I didn’t want to be late, and I had my daily check-in with my best friend while I rode in the Uber. We talk daily and have since our early twenties to check in with each other. I'm grateful that while many aspects of my life have changed, this is still a constant. As we age, prioritizing our friendships for sure gets harder, but it’s not impossible in the least bit when both parties are invested.
9:30 a.m.
Emailing my editor from the car to ask for a deadline extension and sharing with her my ideas for pieces for the month! I’m grateful to have been on both sides of the journalism space. I’ve been a managing editor for years for publications, and I’ve also had the honor to work with managing editors, deputy editors, and editors-in-chief who have poured into me and understood how quickly my schedule can change, I’m honored at the magic we’re able to create together.
As a storyteller, from content that I share to my platform to pieces that I write, I’m having fun again in this season of my life, and I am loving it.
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10:00 a.m.
The event begins, and I can’t lie, when I host my own events, I’m not scared, but as a social anxiety girlie, events sometimes can be a little scary. I am naturally a very shy girl, but wellness events always feel like home to me. You don’t have to dress up; you can show up in workout gear because most of the time you’re experiencing some form of wellness and fitness even during the event. Moments into the panel discussion we experienced a seated meditation led by Peloton instructor Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts - talk about a way to kick the day off!
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The discussion hosted by Meta and Peleton touched on the importance of taking up space in industries and spaces where Black women and people are underrepresented, our self-care regimens, and We The Culture also shared how their work came to be. It was such a powerful event, and of course, we got the inside scoop on Peloton’s newest machines! I also spoke with some people (it’s important to me to always say hello to those who put on the event) and ended up sitting next to THE Pilates girl herself, Raven Ross. She was such a sweetheart, and we talked about our love for Pilates and the importance of community events like this.
Afternoon
2:00 p.m.
Leaving the event, I headed to Sephora to see if I could find Topicals' always sold-out Slick Salve, but to no avail, so I pulled out my phone and ordered it on their website as I walked back to the train station to head back home. I am a girl who loves to walk, so I’m always down for a long walk to the station and a walk back home when time permits, so that’s exactly what I did. I did about four miles just between walking back to Penn Station and walking back to my apartment once I got off the train!
4:30 p.m.
My phone started blowing up because the piece that Oprah Daily asked me to write was published for Black History Month, and my face was on Oprah’s website, AOL’s homepage, and the publication's Instagram page! My mama, aunties, cousins, dad, and everyone who has known me since I was a little girl were beyond proud and excited to see that and how far I’ve come.
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Evening / Night
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5:30 p.m.
I headed to my gym in my home (praise the Lord for apartment amenities) for a quick swim before I picked up my dog from daycare, and then I headed to the sauna and ran into a neighbor who is another successful Black woman killing it in her own right in the tech space. We chatted about life updates and the importance of taking time for our mental health and it felt good to ground myself with swimming. Much of my life has changed in the past few years, but swimming has remained a constant.
Whenever something amazing happens I soak it in and then immediately do what I can to ground myself to stay present, humble, grateful, and focused on what’s ahead.
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6:30 p.m.
It started raining badly and my anxiety is all over the place on the drive to pick up my dog but I practice some deep breathing and remind myself that I have had a calm day and it can end calm as well. I don’t need to rush there, I can drive at a pace that feels good to me. My mother calls to check on me because she sees the weather is terrible and asks me to let her know when I arrive safely.
7:00 p.m.
I arrived at doggy daycare, and the rain is calming down. Can y’all see why I take him?! They watch him all day! My dog is exhausted in the best way and ready to go home and sleep, and I can sit down and relax when we head back home.
9:00 p.m.
I’m back home, took a bath, ordered my favorite healthy Chinese takeout (beef and shrimp with broccoli, light sauce with brown rice), and I’m on the couch with a glass of sustainable wine from one of my favorite Black-owned brands, House of Brown watching Sistaswith a side of kimchi to enjoy with dinner. My candles are lit, I’m letting the highs of the day sit with me and stillness come over me as I prepare for bed.
10:30 p.m.
I took my dog out for a final walk, gave him his bedtime treat, and it’s lights out to prepare for another day.
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