Using A Crystal Dildo Changed More Than My Sex Life
Nearly two months ago, I sat in my bed, face full of tears, asking myself to step back and dig deep.
Dig deep into what it was that I was doing wrong when it came to my relationships. Because while this guy had cheated and that guy had just been completely "not shit" -- I had to admit that there was a reason I continued to attract these men.
After weeks of seeing various people using their crystals, I had nothing much to lose and a couple dollars to spare. So I began doing the research on the healing power of crystals, went into a local shop in the city, and made my first crystal purchase.
Initially, when I began the journey, I constantly wondered if and when I'd know that the crystals were working. I soon learned that this journey would be faith-based. The impact of the crystal would happen, but I wouldn't be able to see it, just feel its magic working. Fast forward to now and those crystals have become permanent fixtures to my hand -- I carry them with me everywhere.
But, it wasn't long after that I was able to get my hands on my first ever dildo -- a Chakrub -- I had spent weeks infatuated by the stories of intimacy brought on by this 100 percent crystal dildo.
While initially set on the "The Original Heart" made of Rose Quartz, I wound up with The Rabbit Jade (made of White Jasper) and, in doing so, I learned that sometimes you don't choose it, but the crystal chooses you.
The Jade seemed to come in my life at the right time and it was a quality I hadn't realized that I was in need of -- peace.
Still not knowing much about crystals, I took my time before diving into the masturbation.
I decided to open my mind and cuddle (as others had done) with my Jade during the night and while at first it seemed weird, it was also somehow comforting.
"It was the intimacy I had so badly been craving, the intimacy that no other toy has been able to provide me."
An intimacy that closely mirrors that of actually having another being's body heat laying next to you.
It offered me a quiet mind and the best sleep that I'd had in almost a year. Sure, it could be chalked up to many other things -- perhaps even a placebo effect of sorts. But if it is, and I don't think it is, I certainly wouldn't be complaining about a state of delusion that brings me peace every. single. night. It further comforted me that Chakrubs owner Vanessa Cuccia put this theory in perspective for me with some thought-provoking words of wisdom:
Finally, after weeks of just cuddling, I finally dared to look for pleasure in my Chakrub, and with the help of a little lube, the experience was every bit as magical as the crystal itself. The white, hard phallic crystal warmed to match my rising body heat. My masturbation experience was transformed, it was no longer just me scratching an itch for sex but me filling my body with all of its desires -- from a good orgasm to a feeling of completeness that I secretly yearned for.
"It was no longer just scratching an itch for sex but me filling my body with all of its desires."
While I still use my battery-operated toys because they meet different needs for me, it goes without saying that my Jade has changed my solo sex experience for the better and there's simply no unknowing that feeling.
That said, there may be some of you that are curious about exploring the power of crystals yourself and while I'm still new to this game and can't really get in-depth with helpful info -- I was able to get a few more bits of advice from Cuccia that will help guide you in your early journey.
1. Comprehension Is Key
If you're anything like me, then taking in all the information about Crystals may prove to be a bit overwhelming and even confusing, but Vanessa recommends Judy Hall as "a great place to start" given the comprehensive nature of her literature pertaining to crystals and their chakra correlation.
2. Choosing Crystals
Of course, it may seem fairly simple to choose a crystal and it is in the end, but reading all the sources out there may leave you feeling a little uncertain. Cuccia suggests that you, "Go for a mix of higher reasoning and intuitive guidance." However, with Chakrubs she points out that you should, "start with what you want on a physical level."
She adds, "Do you want something more generous in size, more of a tickle, do you want a curve, etc? [After deciding] then look at the Chakrubs with what's available in the shape that you want and read the descriptions of the crystal. Allow your intuition to speak to you about what crystal to go with, and you have your answer."
3. Cleanliness Is Next To Goddessness
The one bit of advice that will be consistent around the board is the cleansing of your crystal. You see without cleansing it you won't be able to cleanse you. The crystal retains all the energy that it comes into contact with, so you must clean and occasionally recharge to get the full benefit of it. This is no different when it comes to your Chakrub, Cuccia insists that you, "Charge them in the moonlight, the sunlight" while you can "cleanse them in the smoke of sage, cleanse them with visualization, or sound."
*Originally published Black Girls Vibe
Featured image by Getty Images
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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