Placing my order for my cap and gown for graduation from undergrad, I was optimistic. I couldn't wait to experience the world that I'd heard countless stories about. I'd taken the liberty of planning out the next five years of my life.
Year one, I'd start in an entry-level position. By year three, I'd have a promotion, and by year five, I'd have a healthy salary that would permit me to become a homeowner, and I'd no longer have to rent an apartment.
Well, unfortunately, the year that I graduated, the job market crashed. Entry level jobs were scarce. People were losing their jobs left and right and the entry level positions were being filled by those with decades of experience who were fighting for jobs as well, leaving very few options to apply for something in my field of study. As a result, I began to apply for any and all entry-level positions. I even found myself applying to be a waitress and hostess for minimum wage.
All I knew was I needed a job to pay the bills.
The Truth Is, Life Just Happens.
Luckily, three months after graduating, I snagged a job. It wasn't in my field, but it was a consistent check. The pay was $12,000 less than what I was told I should be making at entry-level before leaving college. The unsettling truth was that, in a matter of months, there would be student loans to pay back and I needed a job, and I needed one fast. At 22, I wasn't privy to negotiating a salary. I was too afraid to muster up the courage to ask for more. Thinking that my counter offer would be rejected and that it would cause them to withdraw their offer, I swallowed my pride and verbally accepted the job.
For the next six years, I found myself paying bill after bill and feeling as though the loan balances and car note wasn't getting lower quick enough. Between the interest rates and "life happens" moments that tugged at my bank account, I felt as though I wasn't moving ahead progressively. I still saw thousands of dollars that needed to be paid off.
Looking at my bank account, my spending wasn't out of control. I hadn't taken a vacation in over six years, my shopping expenses were moderate, and I didn't go out much.
The truth was, I wasn't making enough money to be financially comfortable.
Don't Just Complain About It, Do Something About It.
Sitting on the couch and looking at my bank account, I knew something needed to change. Since the amount of debt wasn't going to change, I knew I needed to. Without hesitation, I started looking for part-time jobs near the area in which I lived. If I was going to get a second job, I didn't want it to cost me even more to travel there. I completed a few applications and said a prayer, "God, if this is for me, please let me get it," and with that, I submitted the applications.
Within a few days, I received an email asking if I would be willing to come in for an interview at a local business. Days after that, I found out I got the job! From there, I started working 15-25 hours a week at the part-time job. When it was time for me to leave my first job at the end of the day, I'd drive directly to my next job and punch in.
Trust me, I was tired. I was working nearly 70 hours a week but the feeling of being bound by debt plagued me more.
Working a second job came with sacrifices. My weekends consisted of me going to work with little time for leisure activities. Sometimes that meant that I worked seven days a week. My social life was scaled back tremendously. I didn't charge anything on credit cards, I only used cash or debit. And I vowed not to make any huge expenses unless it was deemed necessary (car maintenance or repairs). Sometimes that means you'll have to settle for home-brewed coffee instead of Starbucks and you may need to reluctantly pass on getting a 4 for $4 on lunch break and pack a lunch.
Don't Live Above Your Means or At Them, Learn To Live Below Them.
I learned how to live below my means. We often hear not to live above them, but truth be told, living below your means helps you to save a lot more money. However, I knew that it wasn't going to be easy and I didn't expect it to be. As I normally would, I used my 9 to 5 check to pay my bills and fund the necessities.
Once I got paid from the second gig, I used that check to pay extra on my outstanding bills, such as student loans and my car note. Sometimes, I would make double payments on my car note and student loans. Before I knew it, my bills were only three digits and some change. Then, a few months after turning 30, POOF! My car note was paid off a year early. My student loans were nonexistent! I felt free.
I wasn't looking for something or someone to bail me out. I wasn't looking to hit the lottery, have a relative tell me they'd help pay it off, nor was I wishing for bill collectors to miraculously forgive my debt.
Getting out of debt taught me a new level of discipline.
Do you need that new pair of shoes? Probably not.
Can you skip the nail salon and buy a bottle of nail polish and manicure them yourself while making it into a girls' night in with friends, wine, and snacks? More than likely.
Do you really need to pick up a gourmet coffee, fast food for lunch, or eat at an establishment four times during the week? Of course not.
I dare you to look at your billing statement to see how much you spend a month on fast food and entertainment. It may just shock you, I know it was a shock to me. The little things add up. The extra money you no longer spend on luxuries could very well help chip away at your debt.
Look at your finances and ask yourself, "Where can I start saving?" Coupons and discount codes are your friends, use them! Being financially responsible became a priority to me. And because it did, I no longer roll my eyes in agony expecting a cascade of mailing envelopes to pour out of my mailbox onto the ground. Trust me, there's no feeling like being free.
My question for you is, "Do you have the self-discipline to get to a place of financial freedom?"
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I'd become complacent with my habits of running off of four hours of sleep and snacking instead of eating balanced meals. My sleep and eating patterns weren't the best. Quite frankly, neither was my spark for creativity. I felt sluggish and stagnant in multiple areas in my life. Trying to dodge full-length mirrors, I knew that I couldn't escape the reality that I needed to change, and actively change!
I wanted to be healthy both mentally and physically. A lot of times, those two things go hand in hand. Thirty days ago, I decided, "If I can control what goes into my mouth, I can control what comes out of my mouth." It was about what I could control. If I could tame and discipline my flesh to choose healthier food options and actually rest, I could tame the manifestations coming out of my mouth as well. Here's how I reclaimed my discipline:
Planning Meals:
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I started by planning my meals. Yes, we all know that meal prepping works. It helped me to control the number of calories I was consuming and I replaced all drinks with water. Yes, this took some getting used to as caffeine gave me the energy I needed in the mornings and midday. Yet, eventually it got easier. My bank account saw significantly less transactions for fast food purchases too.
Planning Quiet Time:
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As I plan out everything else in my life, I planned out time to pray and simply do nothing. I picked 20 minutes at the beginning of the day and 20 minutes at the end of the day. I give my time to my job, to my family, and to my friends but often I neglected to give myself time for just me.
I deserve to enjoy my own company.
And honestly this resulted in me having to say "no" to many things I was asked. That meant that I chose me before choosing to do things for others that they could do themselves. I had to take off my cape and realize that I didn't have to swoop in and save the day for everyone. They could do it themselves. It was me learning to put a cap on how far I extended myself to others and their access to me.
Planning Exercise:
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OK, I'll confess. Your girl doesn't like to work out. I really don't. One day I thought that I was brave enough to try the 30-Day Calliet Way, but I was way too ambitious. I looked at his meal plan. Check! I could do that. Pre-workout. Check! Full workout...I didn't get that far. The pre-workout felt like the full workout and I thought I was dying a little. Did I mention that I don't like to sweat? While I may have failed doing it the Calliet Way, I did incorporate more walking into my everyday routine. Perhaps in a month or two, I'll have the courage to try his workout plan again. But for now, I am making strides to be more active.
Planning to Exercise my Mind:
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By nature, I'm a creative person. When I'm not being creative, I don't feel my best. In efforts to do just that, I started reading and writing more. This is when I feel as though I am in my zone. Making money is great, but I needed to have an outlet that my jobs don't provide. I needed to start having vision again. I needed to start being optimistic and manifesting good things into my future again.
I learned to speak life and not defeat into my future.
Overall, I know that this will be an ongoing process. Yes, I'm excited by the weight loss, the inches I've shaved off my figure, the clear skin, and the extra hours of sleep, but there have been days when I've found myself wanting to slip back into not my old habits because it would be convenient. In those moments, I had to remind myself of the progress I've made. I'm learning how to have a healthy balance in my life. I'm learning that there is a time to work and there is a time to rest. And I mean really rest, not checking work emails from my phone while in bed.
I've learned that convenience isn't always the best choice. Yes, it's easy to go through the drive-thru, but slowly yet surely, those bad habits attach themselves to you like unwanted pounds. We can all find something to complain about, yet we have even more to be grateful for and can live each new day optimistic.
You are your best investment. Work on your passion and what drives you. You owe it to yourself to not be stagnant. It's an everyday process and choice, but you are capable of being able to tame your mind and your body.
Featured image by Getty Images
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That's because they know one of two things, either I'm in route to work or I'm just getting off of work and heading to the next gig. I'm met with gasps if they hear that I have an actual off day. There's no denying that I'm a workaholic. I work a little over 60 hours a week. This originated when I wanted to pay off all of my debt: student loans, car note, credit cards. Once I reached that goal, I didn't stop working the long hours. Why?
The truth was that I was scared to stop.
Financial stability and maturity is a good thing. It comes with the territory of adulting, but not everyone was taught how to save for a rainy day and retirement. Luckily, I was. Once I was debt free, I was scared to spend large amounts of money. Yes, I was conscious of every dollar that went out of my account, but I was reluctant to casually reward myself. Before I knew it, I was operating in terms of merely saving everything just in case something happened.
I was afraid not to hustle.
Always being on the hustle is glorified. People brag about not getting sleep. But let's be honest, not getting adequate sleep only leads to exhaustion and poor health. There's a thing called balance and many of us lack it. Even more, how do we balance a healthy ratio to hustling and making the most of our time to enjoy life?
For me, I had to get to the root of the problem. As a single woman, all bills are solely on me. There is no splitting the rent, cable bill, utilities, etc. The talks of social security being scarcely available when it's time for me to retire frightened me. A backup plan was mandatory. It was my goal to not have to live paycheck to paycheck if I didn't have to. And the recent government shutdown only increased that anxiety. But my proactive thinking slowly snowballed into reactive thinking. Would any number in my bank account be enough for me to feel comfortable?
Slowly but Surely, I've Learned the Following:
1. Make a financial plan. Pay attention to what you make, what you spend, and what you plan to save for the future. Creating an excel sheet of your expenses can help with this. Learn to live below your means not at nor above them.
2. Make healthy career choices. Most of us have taken jobs that we wouldn't have considered to be our dream job, but we had to pay the bills. It probably didn't pay nearly what we are worth, hence hustling doing several jobs to make up for it. When looking for employment, look for something fulfilling as well as something that can financially sustain you. Don't be afraid to negotiate salary when you know what you can offer.
3. Don't compare your hustle. There will always be someone that has more than you. You can let it be an inspiration for you to work harder at your financial goal, but stay in your own lane. Just because they sell bundles doesn't mean you need to as well.
4. Be realistic. Yes, you will want to go on vacation or enjoy time with friends, family, and your significant other. It's important to save, but put money aside for leisure activities.
5. Educate yourself. There are ways to make money in your sleep. Educate yourself on stocks and investments. Seek out financial planning books and workshops at your local library or online.
As I continue to hustle, I am learning to balance my time more effectively. Valuing myself and my well-being comes before the hustle now.
There are days and even weeks to hustle hard, but at some point you must enjoy the fruits of your labor.
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