Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Will Smith Gets Candid About How His Perspective On Money Shifted After Turning 50
From The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to becoming an Oscar-winning movie star, the evolution of Will Smith has been one to watch over the decade. And now, the 55-year-old actor is sharing his newly evolved perspective on money.
In an interview with Complex, Smith was asked by host, Speedy Morman about his net worth, to which the actor replied, "I don’t even know, man. I don’t discuss such things.”
However, after further uncovering, Smith opened up about his current relationship with money after noting his journey as someone, “who's had money, lost money, then had it again, bigger than you ever imagined."
“This is the downsize phase of my life,” Smith shared. “The first half of my life was gather, gather, gather, the second half of my life is gonna be give, give, give.”
Smith shed his realization that material possessions and wealth cannot bring lasting happiness and that true satisfaction must come beyond material possessions.
“People… always have that moment somewhere around 50 where something changes,” he added. “But what happens is you just realize none of it can make you happy. Once you’ve bought everything you want and there’s literally nothing on Earth else that you want to buy, I just wish that was a gift that everybody could have because there’s nothing that material can do to satisfy you.”
The Bad Boys star went on to discuss how he’s entering a phase of life where one confronts the realization that external factors do not lead to true fulfillment, but instead through making peace with one’s inner struggles and reflections.
“I’m in that phase of my life that can actually be scary — when you realize that no relationship, that no money, that no kids—there’s literally nothing that can make you happy,” Smith shared.
He continued, “That happy is internal, full frontal contact with your dark knight of the soul and you reconcile that you gotta make happy in here — you gotta make happy in here with none of that stuff. You gotta take happy to the people you love — you can’t try to get it from them… It’s not for the faint of heart.”
During a 2021 interview with Idris Elba, Smith revealed his troubles with the IRS before landing his role on the hit TV show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air — causing him to borrow money from his “drug dealer” friend. "So Uncle Sam wanted his money. I didn't forget—I just didn't pay,” Smith said.
"So, I borrowed $10,000 from a friend of mine who was a purveyor of neighborhood pharmaceuticals," he added, as the crowd laughed. "I borrowed $10,000 and I moved to Los Angeles,” he continued.
With so many of us seeking meaning while managing our desires for a prosperous life, it’s refreshing to hear a seasoned and respected actor share their wisdom on money and happiness.
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Lizzo Shares Her Views On The Evolution Of 'Body Positivity' Amid Weight Loss Journey
Singer Lizzo is no stranger to transparency when it comes to body image – and as of late, the “Truth Hurts” artist is taking on a new outlook towards the body positivity movement.
In an interview with the New York Times, Lizzo, 35, is discussing her views on the evolution of the popular term, amidst her recent weight loss journey, shifting her focus towards "body neutrality."
“The idea of body positivity, it’s moved away from the antiquated mainstream conception,” she told the publication. “It’s evolved into body neutrality.”
For decades, the body positivity movement has embodied the stance of self-acceptance that advocates for all body types, no matter the size, skin color, shape, or physical abilities. With the rise of social media, the movement took on a new form, encouraging more visibility and representation while challenging beauty standards.
As of late, body neutrality has been embraced as a new approach that puts acceptance and perspective back in the eyes of the beholder. According to Butterfly.org, “Body neutrality suggests that a body is simply a vessel that carries us through life, and is never the most important thing about us,” – neither seen as negative or positive, but simply what we use to live our lives.
Still, Lizzo maintains a confident stance on her body image, although she admits, it wavers from time to time. “I’m not going to lie and say I love my body every day,” she shares. “The bottom line is, the way you feel about your body changes every single day.”
She continued, “There are some days I adore my body, and others when I don’t feel completely positive.”
In 2020, the Yitty founder spoke to Vogue about her aim to redefine what body positivity means to her and in a wider context. “I think it’s lazy for me to just say I’m body positive at this point,” she said. “It’s easy. I would like to be body-normative. I want to normalize my body.”
Lizzo is taking her weight loss and self-care journey one day at a time, by prioritizing her health and exercise through activities like walking and Pilates. “I’m taking the time every day to put some love into my body,” she said. “There is never a day when I regret taking a walk or doing some Pilates.”
She continues, “I’ve been methodical, losing weight very slowly.”
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Whenever we reach a roadblock in life, a number of different questions come to mind. Why me? What’s the purpose of this? What is all this trying to teach me? It's during these moments that life has a subtle way of nudging us to pause and listen because a necessary change could be on the horizon.
These inward signs are nothing to brush off as insignificant. In fact, when we see the outward manifestations of our stuckness in the form of hopelessness, purposelessness, and loss of enthusiasm, it’s a signal to acknowledge the unrest stirring beneath the surface.
Thankfully, we’re not just passengers to our journey, we get to be in the driver’s seat of our lives and course correct as we see fit. And amidst our weariness, there’s an even greater opportunity for clarity within the discomfort. By delving deep into our thoughts, emotions, and aspirations, we can transform our situation and become the person we truly desire to be.
To help, we’ve tapped Dr. Dain Heer, author of Being You, for the best questions to ask ourselves to become the fully actualized versions of ourselves that we want (and deserve) to be.
Q: What are some signs that it might be time for introspection in order to become our higher self?
A: What's true for us always makes us lighter and when we're trying to live according to other people's points of view of what we should be or do, we often get tired and unhappy. These are signs that we need to start looking in a different place for what needs to change.
Some of the warning signs may appear:
- When you don’t feel like yourself.
- When you are not happy.
- When things aren’t “working out” or you feel like you are stuck.
- When things feel heavy or roadblocks keep coming up.
- When you feel dissatisfied and in your head, you know that monkey mind voice that keeps coming up.
- When you are also very tired.
Q: What are a few questions one can ask ourselves to become the person we desire to be?
A: Firstly, I would find a quiet space and ask: “If I could create anything in my life in the next five years, what would it be?”
You may want to write it down or speak it into a recorder and examine these six areas of life: money and finances, business and work, relationship, body, and location. Get a sense of how it would feel to have these things exactly how you would like them. Then, ask the question: "What can I choose, and what do I need to change to create a life that I love?"
Some other great questions to ask yourself daily are:
- What else is possible for me that I've never considered?
- What if none of what I've been living has to be my reality in the future?
- What will my life be like in five years if I choose this?
- How does it get better than this?
- What else is truly possible?
- What would it take for this to be greater than I ever thought was possible?
- What's right about me I'm not getting?
- What limiting beliefs or patterns am I ready to release?
- Am I being true to myself, or am I living according to others' expectations?
Q: Why are times of introspection and self-reflection important for our overall growth?
A: In today's world, we tend to be very go-go-go — running from one fire to the next. We very seldom have a sense that we are present in our lives and in control. Introspection and self-reflection allow us to gain awareness again of what's actually true for us. Remember, what's true always makes you lighter.
We are capable of miracles and part of what it takes is for us to get presents and ask for what we would truly desire. Introspection and self-reflection [are] so important because [they] get us out of the autopilot that we've been functioning from and get us present in our lives, and when we're present in our lives, we can create our lives.
"When we're present in our lives, we can create our lives."
Q: What habits or behaviors could prevent us from becoming the person we envision, and how can we overcome them?
A: Judgment. It is the biggest killer of possibilities on this planet. Judgment of others and, most importantly, judgment of yourself. When you notice yourself doing self-judgment, ask yourself: "Who does this belong to? Is this mine? Or am I just aware of it?" And if it lightens up at all, it's not yours and returns it to whoever it came from.
Perfection is the highest form of judgment. Practice self-compassion and be your biggest cheerleader. If you are going to be true to yourself, you have to be willing to be you and be willing to disappoint people. When you are connected with you, your life becomes easier, you become happier, and become an invitation for others to be themselves.
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The Power Of Choosing Herself: Sienna Brown's Path From Event Planning To Beauty Branding
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
Before Sienna Brown, founder of Glosshood, took a leap of faith to leave her corporate career, she knew, in her body, that it was time for a change.
“I was working as an event planner, and I was just so sick of it,” she tells xoNecole. “I decided I didn't want to be there anymore — I didn’t want to live my life like this. My body just felt it. I was getting hives all over, I was so stressed; I would be crying all the time.”
As a means to explore her newfound freedom from a corporate life, Brown began dabbling in various video-based projects, from music and social justice. However, her true passion was to create a beauty brand that aimed to reconnect with her inner child.
“I made a promise to myself — and I wrote this in my resignation letter, actually — that I would always choose myself,” she reflects. “Glosshood is an extension of that: choosing yourself over and over again and getting back to that little version of yourself that prioritized play.”
As a first-generation Jamaican-American, Brown found herself crossed between strict cultural norms towards makeup and her own desire to explore the glamour of coming-of-age traditions. “If you know anything about Jamaican or Caribbean parents, you know they're very strict about makeup and ‘coming of age type things,’” she shares.
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“I made a promise to myself that I would always choose myself. Glosshood is an extension of that: choosing yourself over and over again, and getting back to that little version of yourself that prioritized play.”
For her, lip gloss wasn’t just a product, it was a rite of passage into becoming the woman she’d ultimately be. “Luckily, my parents were pretty open to letting me wear nail polish and stuff like that, but when it came to makeup, my parents, my dad especially, was like, absolutely not.”
Soon, the beauty supply store became Brown’s playground and the foundation for a product that would make her mark on the beauty industry years down the line.
“When I was creating Glosshood, I thought, What's the thing that can always make you feel beautiful?” she says. “Anytime you just want that extra little oomph in your life, you just put on some lip gloss, and you're like, okay, I feel better.”
Going into her 4th year, the Sephora Accelerator Grant recipient and beauty ItGirl is determined to be “the biggest beauty brand in the world,” trusting that everything she envisions will fall into place. “I've never really wondered how because I knew that if God gave me the vision and put it in my mind, I could do it, and he would put everything in place for me.”
And she’s doing just that, one lip gloss at a time.
Sienna Brown on what it means to be an ItGirl:
“Being an ItGirl means finding solutions — and not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I cannot tell you the amount of times people have told me no. And I've been like, what do I do now? But one thing that always keeps me going is thinking about where I started. Being an ItGirl is like a form of constantly affirming yourself because nobody believes in you the way that you're going to believe in you.
"So when people see you coming out, and you know, being proud of what you're putting out into the world, people want to be a part of that, and people want to support you, but you have to give them things to support. That's what being an ItGirl is to me.”
On navigating struggles and challenges in her career journey:
“When I was first starting my company, and even today, I'm a very scrappy person. I didn’t have the money to pay someone right out; it became a thing of capital. And that's something that I find a lot of founders have to overcome very early on. You're doing what you can with what you have and that's my number one advice to people: start where you're at; do what you can with what you have. You can do a lot more than you think, especially if you're willing to teach yourself. Overcome the idea of, ‘I don't have the money to do it,’ — it’s about getting scrappy and really being devoted to learning and teaching yourself.”
On the advice she would you give young women who desire to make their mark:
“I think the number one thing is to be yourself. Who I am with my parents is who I am with my friends. Who I am with my friends is who I am with you right now. I am fully myself. One thing that I will always pride myself on is that I never know everything. I learned so much stuff day in and day out, and while I'm learning, I still don't know everything.
"Be willing to change things. Do not be married to the ideas or the things that come up or pop up along the journey. Remain nimble and remain flexible; in thought, in practice, and in ideation — that's where the magic happens.”
"Remain nimble and remain flexible; in thought, in practice, and in ideation — that's where the magic happens."
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On what excites her about the future of Glosshood:
“I'm excited for it to be the biggest beauty brand in the world. It sounds absolutely insane saying it because it's like, how are you going to do that? But I've never really wondered how because I knew that if God gave me the vision and put it in my mind, I could do it, and He would put everything in place for me. He would align my steps for me.
“It’s about being the most faithful version of myself. Everyone's looking at me like Sienna, you're crazy. And I'm like, well: it's crazy until it's not. I cannot wait to have the entire world experiencing their inner child in real-time through beauty.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
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From Side Hustle To Senior Vice President: Dimplez Is Lighting The Way In Digital Marketing
The ItGirl 100 List, in partnership with Hyundai, is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
If turning your side hustle into a flourishing career was a person, it'd be Dimplez Ijeoma.
In 2007, the Senior Vice President of Marketing at Capitol Music Group and digital marketer discovered her knack for building websites and blogs for social media’s early tastemakers.
“I got very, very curious about everything that went into making a website pop,” she tells xoNecole. “I started to dig into the minutiae around what excited people to view and visit certain sites — it was very apparent that there was a lane for me to explore.”
At the time, Dimplez was a grad student studying physical therapy, so while marketing and digital storytelling wasn’t the initial path she saw for herself, it was the one her curiosity led her to. “It wound up being a circumstance of my hobby piquing my interest in this area, and there ended up being a career path for me in the area.”
As many up-and-blossoming ItGirls use the internet to share their niche interests and build communities around their hobbies and passions, a common hesitancy for some is turning their hobbies into careers, only to lose the initial spark that brought them joy. For Dimplez, the distinction within this conundrum was clear.
“There's a difference between hobby and passion for me,” she explains. “I would never monetize [my hobbies] because that's something that just genuinely brings me joy.”
She continues, “I'm passionate about how people think, what people enjoy consuming, and how artists tell their stories. That's my passion. I don't mind monetizing my passion because I would do it whether I was paid for it or not.”
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"I'm passionate about how people think, what people enjoy consuming, and how artists tell their stories. That's my passion."
Dimplez is candid about the fact that when she first embarked on her career, social media was shifting into an entirely new frontier, and the title of “digital marketer” didn’t exist. That’s why, years later, becoming a director of digital marketing and now, the Senior Vice President of Marketing at Capitol Music Group, is a full circle moment.
“I definitely want to give a nod to Michelle Jubelirer, who was the CEO at the time,” Dimplez shares. “When Michelle was appointed CEO, I was one of her first calls because she cares about artists, she cares about storytelling, and she wants the best people around to do those things. Under her tenure and guidance, I co-lead a team of the best digital marketers, short-form content creators, and digital technologists in our industry. And with them, we were able to not only turn the company around but turn the label group around to its greatest success in the last 19 years.”
For Dimplez, lifting as you climb has been the hallmark of her trajectory and the template for the ItGirls coming behind her, looking to blaze their own path. “I expect anyone who wants to be a digital marketer to beat me: be better.”
On what it means to be an ItGirl:
"It means that I am representing us well. My mom is my favorite girl known to man, because in every room, she represented, not only herself, but she represented everyone who she stood for, well. Oftentimes, I am in rooms where I am the only Black woman, I am the most senior Black woman, I am the most senior immigrant, I am the only immigrant, whatever the case may be.
"Oftentimes, I am in rooms where I am the only Black woman, I am the most senior Black woman, I am the most senior immigrant, I am the only immigrant, whatever the case may be."
"It's not lost on me that in the spaces I occupy, I am not only representing myself, but I'm representing everyone who will come after me. And to be an ItGirl, it means I am doing this justice."
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On how she overcomes challenges in her career journey:
"The biggest challenge that any of us will ever face in different environments is communication. It's not that we're not speaking the same language, but we're not understanding the same. I remember one of my mentors once told me that we judge ourselves based on intention, but we judge everyone else based on action. And what I found a lot in the corporate space was, people were judging actions versus intent, and we needed to level set.
"A lot of workplace or career challenges literally boiled down to miscommunication — whether it be intentional or unintentional. And as an executive, a woman, and a human, the moment we become better communicators, the less friction we will have."
On the advice she'd give women who aspire to follow a similar path as her:
"To anyone looking to follow in the same pathway: do it and do it better, be greater. I was only able to even visualize my role because I thought of executives that came before me. I think often of Vivian Scott Chew, Lynn Scott; these are Black women marketers that lifted as they climbed, and made it a point to protect their artists, protect the talent that they represented, and create a lane for themselves that didn't really exist.
"Whatever anyone is thinking, you can do it. Do it even bigger. Do it even better. Because I think everyone is capable of doing it."
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
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The top of the year has a way of energizing us to try our hand at new hobbies or skills that pique our interest. Whether it’s an activity that helps fill our free time or enhances our personal development, there’s a certain joy and wonder that comes along with the newness. But once the novelty of the initial excitement begins to fade, it’s easy to lose motivation when thoughts of “not being good enough” start to slip in.
Still, that doesn’t mean it’s time to quit and give up entirely — in fact, it’s all more the reason to lean into the joy of being a newbie.
When embarking on something new, such as a project or endeavor, managing initial discomfort and self-doubt can be facilitated by two key factors: mindset and planning. According to Erin James, life strategist and coach, our mindset helps to cultivate a positive attitude and belief in our abilities, while planning entails outlining steps and strategies to navigate challenges effectively.
These two elements are crucial in overcoming initial obstacles and building confidence in the face of the unknown.
Being an adult beginner at something new
“First, you must go into it knowing that you will have moments of feeling uncomfortable, unsure, hesitant, and maybe even scared,” James tells xoNecole. “You’ll have moments where you feel like you made a mistake or can’t succeed in this new venture, but simultaneously, you need to trust and believe in yourself.”
He continues, “You have to embrace those moments and acknowledge that they are self-doubt, not facts. If you understand that these thoughts and moments will occur ahead of time, then you can manage them as they pop up and not let them control you. You can push past any discomfort or self-doubt with the rest mindset.”
While possessing the right mindset is important, it’s necessary to have a plan to lean on when treading unfamiliar waters in each new space. James says that maintaining motivation can be challenging when faced with the awkwardness and – that comes with being a beginner. We want to be good at what we’re doing, as soon as we start doing it, but that’s not always the reality. It’s in this case that the most effective motivator is to remain focused on the end goal.
“It’s easy to lose motivation when things seem both consistent and impossible. The best motivator will be to keep the end goal in mind,” he says. “You have to remember it’s a journey with a long path. It won’t always be exciting or progressive and it may feel pointless to keep going but if you keep the end goal in mind rather than judging yourself only on day-to-day accomplishments, it will be easier to keep going.”
It may come as a surprise that there are hidden benefits to embracing the mindset of a beginner. This concept is related to what’s known as the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias in which individuals with low ability in a particular area tend to overestimate their own skill level. It argues that people who lack knowledge or competence in a certain domain often mistakenly believe that they are much more competent than they actually are.
Conversely, those with higher levels of competence in a given area may underestimate their abilities because they are more aware of the complexities and nuances involved. Essentially, this highlights the paradox: those who know the least tend to think they know the most, while those who know the most may doubt their own abilities.
Simply put: it’s better to remain open to learning something new at every stage of the journey.
There’s only one road to becoming an expert at the hobbies, activities, and skills that we put our hands to and that’s by first being a rookie. Even the mere fact that you're attempting to try your hand at something new and journeying through unfamiliar territories is a testament to one’s openness to novelty and the process that comes with it. While you were the person you were when you started the journey, after sticking to the process you're bound to become a new and improved version of yourself.
Release perfection and enjoy the journey.
“Accept from the start that it will be challenging and you will have many moments where you feel like a failure,” James says. “Use your brain and trust your gut, it will usually help you avoid mistakes.”
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