I Don't Have Perfect Skin - & That's OK
"Just drink water." There is nothing more irritating than scrolling down your Instagram feed, seeing all these women with naturally perfect skin – glowing in the sun with not a blemish in sight – and their magical advice to achieve clear skin is: drink water.
Well, I want to know what water these ladies are drinking because I have been drinking my water and have tried every natural skin regimen under the sun promoted by our favorite YouTubers with no success.
Since middle school, I have had mild to severe breakouts. Nothing too terrible, but enough to be noticable and impact my confidence when the increased discoloration and acne scarring began to become a topic of conversation. In high school, I went to see a dermatologist and was prescribed an acne medication, which virtually eradicated my breakouts; it was miracle. Using acne cream basically allowed me to forget I even had it.
Problem solved... Or so I thought.
Despite its success, deep down, I used to feel ashamed whenever someone would comment on how clear my skin was or ask for my "secret" and it was acne cream. It made me feel like I was cheating somehow, or that I wasn't trying hard enough to research and find a regimen that would give me clear skin without any medication. I had friends with nearly perfect skin and they didn't use acne cream, and thought, Why couldn't that be me? On YouTube, I found so many influencers broadcasting their successful transitions from acne medication, encouraging viewers to reject a life "enslaved to chemicals" to "free ourselves" and "take control over our health and futures."
So, I decided to do just that and go rogue.
Two years ago, I went on a quest to completely wean myself off of chemicals. I was so desperate to go all-natural in every way – my hair, diet, and skin – and was confident that if I put in the time and energy, I would have luscious curls, a snatched waist, and glowing skin. I got 1.5 out of the 3 right, but my abrupt transition off of acne medicine without consulting my doctor or selecting one particular skin care regimen nearly permanently damaged my skin.
I approached natural skin care the same way I approached my natural hair journey: I would hop from product to product, watch countless videos and mix methods, and somehow through process of elimination, I would determine what worked vs. what didn't. It was a disaster. Determined, I really tried to stick it out, telling myself that I just needed more time for my face to adjust, but my skin was super sensitive to all of the DIY mixers and elixirs I was cooking up and I began to develop severe hyperpigmentation and cystic acne – far worse than anything I experienced before my original medication.
Not only was I out there looking crazy and smelling like a pine cone from all the tea tree oil I was using to treat my breakouts, but my self-confidence was really taking a hit. I still look at *unedited* selfies from that period and cringe.
It was one evening before a school formal event that I reached my breaking point.
My face was so raw and tender from all of the scrubbing, face masks, and chemicals that applying makeup was not only painful but made me worry about the makeup further inflaming and breaking out my skin. Additionally, the thought of getting ready and going to this event without any makeup sent me into a panic. Everyone would see the discoloration, the bumps, I just couldn't to do that. So I decided, I wouldn't go. Later that evening, I watched on Snapchat as everyone was out at this event, enjoying themselves and living their best lives, while I sat in bed applying yet another face mask. Wistful, I scrolled back through my phone onto pictures of my skin before I stopped using my acne cream and it seemed like a different world. I was sick of smelling like a pine cone. I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to return to my acne medication.
Maybe, I'm a sellout. Maybe, I didn't wait long enough or went about transitioning the wrong way. Maybe, I don't care.
I don't have perfect skin and I'm OK with it.
Acne medication just happens to be a part of my narrative and it works for me. All I know is that I didn't look or feel the way I wanted to when I stopped using my acne cream, and I will pursue whatever regimen, chemicals or not, that make me look and feel beautiful. I wouldn't have stopped using my acne cream if I didn't feel shamed into pursuing natural regimens, and after consulting with my dermatologist this time around, I transitioned to a cream with increasingly lower chemical percentages and that can be used less frequently and eventually, not at all.
Chemicals and medications are not inherently bad or harmful if used correctly.
The primary prescription I personally use is Duac, a clindamycin benzoyl peroxide topical gel as a spot treatment. I started off at 10% strength and have been slowly decreasing the intensity over time. When money is tight, I opt for a dupe on Amazon that I have had good success with called Replenix. When I first returned to prescription acne treatments, I was using Duac and Tazorac, a retinoid, to basically remove my entire top layer of damaged skin and address my hyperpigmentation and acne scarring. But, I HATED it. Although it was technically successful, my skin peeled for weeks and was super raw and tender. I couldn't even wear foundation without looking diseased. As soon as I ran out of my dosage, I immediately stopped using it. Alternatively, I do chemical peels every 3-4 weeks to balance my complexion, my favorite being the Microdelivery Resurfacing Peel by Philosophy. For cleansers and moisturizers, I use Neutrogena Oil-Free cleanser every night or with a spin brush 2-3 times a week and Cetaphil face lotion – nothing fancy.
My story isn't an unwavering endorsement of acne medication. I still drink a lot of water, try not to touch my face with dirty hands, and limit my consumption of greasy foods, and honestly, in a perfect world, I wouldn't use chemicals at all. But, rather than feel ashamed and boxed into a corner regarding perceptions, I am here to say that everyone's experience is different and it's okay to do whatever works for you. Just ensure that you are properly informed and feel empowered in whatever decision you make.
So, if you are considering transitioning from acne medication, go for it. Just go about it correctly. If you want to embrace your skin as-is, go for it. Just know that your journey may not pan out the way you originally imagined and you are free to go about it however you want. And, if you want to continue using your prescription, I'm right here with you.
It's your skin, it's your life, it's your choice.
Featured image by Lydia Anglin
Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate who is passionate about using her voice to enact change in minority and female communities. Dubbed the "Intern Queen," she has worked 8+ internships in diverse industries, including Wall Street firms and the Obama White House, and is now bringing her career and lifestyle tips to you! Meet Lydia on Instagram @queen_of_anglin and Twitter @its_lit_dia.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The Power Of Your Big 3: Understanding The Astrological Significance You Hold
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
Astrology has become even more mainstream and a phenomenon than it ever has in the past. We have gone beyond the, “What’s your sign?” and have moved into “What’s your big 3?” seemingly overnight, and rightly so due to the significance of knowing these important details. Your Big 3 in Astrology represents your sun sign, your moon sign, and your rising sign.
This trifecta is thought to be one of the most significant details of your birth chart and gives you and others more of a full-picture look at who you are beyond just your sun sign.
What Does Your Big 3 In Astrology Say About You?
Knowing your big 3 is important, especially if you are someone who has never really resonated with your sun sign. You read about what it means to be an Aries, but may not align with what you see or your experience with other Aries. Meanwhile, the whole time, you have a Libra rising, the complete opposite sign of Aries, and this is why you have always seen yourself as a more laid-back and less confrontational Aries.
Elements hold a key role in your birth chart and having a big 3 where the elements are all compatible or the same often signifies someone who knows who they are and is comfortable in their skin. Whereas someone with a different element for each part of their big 3 may have challenges with identity or defining who they are or how they want to present themselves. It’s a different type of perspective when looking into your big 3, and it helps you see where your strengths and needs are in life, and how to tap more into this potential.
Your Big 3 In Astrology Explained
Your big 3 can help you navigate life by understanding which part of you comes out more in different circumstances. At home, you are most like your moon sign, when you are out and about, you are most like your rising sign. Whether you are at home or out and about, your goals, purpose, and interests are most like your sun sign.
You can find out what your big 3 is by looking up a ‘Birth Chart Calculator’ on your search engine, typing in your birthday details (you will need to know your birth date, location, and the exact time you were born), and generating your birth chart.
Read below for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
YOUR SUN SIGN
Your sun sign represents the core of you and what motivates you to shine and be your best self. This is your personality, goals, purpose, identity, ego, interests, direction, and where you light up in life.
FIRE SUN (Aries Sun, Leo Sun, Sagittarius Sun)
If you are an Aries sun, a Leo sun, or a Sagittarius sun, you are outgoing, confident, fearless, and in tune with yourself and your personal goals and desires in life. You go after the things you want, and you are not afraid to take up space. You are someone who prefers to be more independent, and you are often in more leadership roles in life.
EARTH SUN (Taurus Sun, Virgo Sun, Capricorn Sun)
If you are a Taurus sun, a Virgo sun, or a Capricorn sun, you are grounded, dependable, loyal, hard-working, and logical. You prefer the finer things in life but also work hard to get where you are. You are someone others feel they can rely on, and you are often a support for other people in your life. You are very connected to the material sides of life, and have a gift for manifesting.
AIR SUN (Gemini Sun, Libra Sun, Aquarius Sun)
If you are a Gemini sun, a Libra sun, or an Aquarius sun, you are light-hearted, free-flowing, intelligent, and communicative. You speak what is on your mind, and you love to connect and communicate with others. People know you for the things you say and your out-of-the-box ideas, and you are someone who is open-minded and provides a safe space for people to be authentically themselves.
WATER SUN (Cancer Sun, Scorpio Sun, Pisces Sun)
If you are a Cancer sun, a Scorpio sun, or a Pisces sun, you are thoughtful, generous, emotional, loving, and compassionate. You care deeply about the people you love, and you are always there for others. You may be more emotional than most, and this is due to your strong intuition and open heart. You are creative, inspiring, and motivated towards connection in life.
YOUR MOON SIGN
Your moon sign represents your emotions. This is the way you express yourself emotionally, how you process your emotions, what you need in love, what makes you feel safe and nurtured, your desires, intuition, your inner world, and what’s going on beneath the surface.
FIRE MOON (Aries Moon, Leo Moon, Sagittarius Moon)
If you are an Aries moon, a Leo moon, or a Sagittarius moon, you are someone who is not afraid to communicate your emotions or how you are feeling, and you can feel your emotions from a mile away. You are confident in yourself and are someone who stands up for what you feel is right. You have a strong need to be seen and heard in your relationships, and a certain type of understanding is needed for you to emotionally thrive. You may have some challenges with anger or high energy and are working through emotional impulses in this lifetime.
EARTH MOON (Taurus Moon, Virgo Moon, Capricorn Moon)
If you are a Taurus moon, a Virgo moon, or a Capricorn moon, you are someone who is emotionally grounded, safe, comforting, and logical. You aren’t overly emotional and may not show your emotions to people much at all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have them. You think before you speak, and you process your emotions before acting on them, and you tend to be more down-to-earth and understanding when it comes to other people’s emotional worlds as well. You are someone people go to when they need someone to talk to you as you are a very good listener.
AIR MOON (Gemini Moon, Libra Moon, Aquarius Moon)
If you are a Gemini moon, a Libra moon, or an Aquarius moon, you are someone who is fun, outgoing, and emotionally open-minded. You don’t like heavy emotions or too much emotional drama, and you tend to be more go-with-the-flow in this area of your life. Good conversation and mutual understanding are very important to you in your relationships and you want funny banter and inspiration in your connections with others.
WATER MOON (Cancer Moon, Scorpio Moon, Pisces Moon)
If you are a Cancer moon, a Scorpio moon, or a Pisces moon, you are someone who lives by their heart and values your emotional world deeply. You crave a deep type of intimacy in your partnerships and you need a partner who is going to give you that type of emotional connection. You are more private with your emotional world and you tend to hold a lot in, but this can often lead to sudden outbursts as well. Overall, you are the definition of emotion and others learn a lot from you on what it means to love and to feel.
YOUR ASCENDANT (RISING SIGN)
Your ascendant sign represents your perception and the energy you put out into the world. This is the way you come across to others, the way you express yourself, your physical traits and aesthetics, how you manifest, society, and what you expect from the world around you.
FIRE ASCENDANT (Aries Rising, Leo Rising, Sagittarius Rising)
If you are an Aries rising, a Leo rising, or a Sagittarius rising, you come across to others as confident, bold, and stylish. You are known for the way you look or the way you present yourself, and you are usually adorned in bright colors or wearing something that others take a lot of notice of. You are someone who walks into a room, and all eyes are on you, and you love that. You want to be on the move and on the go, and you love to show up in the world exactly as you are today. You see the world with a lot of possibilities and like it's yours to have fun and enjoy yourself in.
EARTH ASCENDANT (Taurus Rising, Virgo Rising, Capricorn Rising)
If you are a Taurus rising, a Virgo rising, or a Capricorn rising, you come across to others as responsible, beautiful, natural, and dependable. You are a hard worker, and you may be known for your career or the work that you do. You are someone who walks into a room and people feel an immediate sense of comfort and like you are someone they can trust. You have strong values and goals, and you are someone who knows what they want. People love to be around your down-to-earth energy, and you make others feel safe and grounded.
AIR ASCENDANT (Gemini Rising, Libra Rising, Aquarius Rising)
If you are a Gemini rising, a Libra rising, or an Aquarius rising, you come across to others as outgoing, friendly, and talkative. You see the world as a place to learn, connect, and be inspired, and you are on a quest for knowledge and understanding. You connect with people from all walks of life, and you tend to have a pretty open-minded and unique friend group. You care a lot about your style and aesthetic and always strive to be authentically you wherever you are. You can talk to people for hours and are often meeting new people and making new friends wherever you go.
WATER ASCENDANT (Cancer Rising, Scorpio Rising, Pisces Rising)
If you are a Cancer rising, a Scorpio rising, or a Pisces rising, you navigate life through the lens of your emotions, and you are deeply connected to the undercurrents of life. You are ruled by your emotions, and this side of you is not something you can keep hidden away easily. You get emotional when you think about society and others at large, and you want to be known for the kind and sincere person you are. When you walk into a room, you feel other people's energy right away and are highly empathic and intuitive.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by We Are/Getty Images