Career, Life, & Love Lessons Learned From 30 Years Of Solange
On Friday, June 24th, Solange Knowles was given the gift of her 30th birthday and in return she gave the world a gift with an Instagram post that was encouraging and definitely took me out of the rut that I have been in. Lately for me, life has been a confusing and sometimes overwhelming roller coaster that has taken me on many highs and some unexpected lows. Last Friday when I was at the point where I wanted to say eff it to certain goals because the work seemed harder than I envisioned, and because I didn’t have enough money, Solange’s post literallycame at the right time.
The Saint Records CEO used her influence on Instagram to educate her followers on her journey of life from a little girl to a woman. And boy, has she had a hell of a life!
Here's the timeline of the past 30 years that she shared:
Born: June 24th
Age 3-5: Wore tap shoes and tutus everywhere
Age 9: Wrote first song (A jingle for the United Way)
Age 10: Felt God
Age 13: Met first love (in a parking lot)
Age 15: Wrote/Released my first album for weird teenagers
Age 16: Started writing songs for other awesome people
Age 17: Lost my best friend Marsai to gun violence
Age 18: Pregnant
Married first love
Gave birth to angel baby
Age 19: Divorced
Age 20-22: Wiled the hell out
Age 22: Fell head over heels in love again
Age 24: Experienced Insane panic attacks and agoraphobia and convinced I would die by 30
Age 26: Wrote and released third album
Age 27: Started (Saint Records) record label and cultural hub (St. Heron)
Released first album on label
Freed myself of "friends" on the journey to womanhood
Started writing most proud of body of work
The World called me crazy
Age 28: I Married my best friend
Age 29: Completed 4th album (72 hours before turning 30)
Age 30: Just really getting started
Solo also used the post as a reminder of how crucial it is for us to take charge of our own lives, live out our destiny, and to believe in the beauty of our dreams.
As she so graciously put it, “Don't eveeer let anyone write your story for you."
[Tweet "Don't eveeer let anyone write your story for you. - Solange"]
Here is what we can all learn from Solange’s post as it relates to our career, personal life, and love status.
On work..
Solange started her musical career in her early teens. Years later at the age of 26, she started her own record label, and at 27, she released her first album off of her own label. Talk about being a BOSS!
This definitely proves that sometimes it may take a while to accomplish certain dreams that you may have. Although the goal that you have in mind may be destined for you, it may not be destined for you at the moment or when you want it to happen.
It’s all about timing.
Although Solange didn’t have her own record label until the age of 26, she definitely experienced success before then. Solange worked hard in the music industry and learned from some of the best (hey sister Bey!!), and when the time was right, she became her own boss, creating her ownopportunities. If you have your own goals that seem impossible, just be patient, hustle hard, and remember to not give up when things don't happen when you want. When the timing is right, you will reap the benefits.
[Tweet "Be patient. Remember, it's all about timing."]
On life..
I recently heard someone say that you learn who you are while in college and that is the furthest thing from the truth that I’ve heard in a while. I think in college you do learn a few things about yourself, but it isn’t until you take a ride in the “real world” with real problems, jobs, and bills that you learn who you reallyare.
During this journey of finding one’s self, it will be hard. You will make mistakes, find new friends, and lose quite a few. In Solange's Instagram post she mentioned, “[I] freed myself of "friends" on the journey to womanhood.” Sometimes in our own journey, we have to free ourselves from more than just friends. We have to also let go of toxic careers, bad habits, and unfavorable choices that somehow find a way to keep us from progressing in life.
Freeing yourself from people, jobs, and habits can be difficult at times. Often people don’t like to do anything out of their comfort zone because of their fear of the unknown. Nonetheless, in order for us to evolve and be at a place where we can receive what’s meant for us, sometimes we have to let go.
On love..
Everybody is either getting married or having babies and meanwhile I’m just trying to figure out how I can get my glow up from my side gigs and watch new episodes of House of Lies in my free time.
Despite my freelance writing and TV watching goals, I can’t lie and say that I don’t want to ever get married or bring life into this world. However, when the timing is right, those things will happen for me. Solange is proof. She dated other men before and has even been divorced. Now she is married again, but this time to her best friend and the true love her life.
Before you rush into getting into a relationship so that you can be the next person to flaunt your engagement on the gram’:
Find yourselfLearn how to love yourself
And don’t start something until you know you are ready.
Even if you think you are ready for love and it doesn’t work out - oh well. You live, and you learn, and there will always be a valuable lesson from every relationship.
Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Curate The Vibes With These Black-Owned Candles For Every Mood
Black women of the 90s and early 2000s had incense, and Black women of today are fully embracing our luxury candle era. Candles have become just as important as our perfume selections, and as a luxury candle connoisseur, I keep all of my favorites in stock in my storage closet.
Whether you’re moving out for the first time and want to try new scents or looking to set the mood for a self-care day or sexy evening, consider these Black-owned candle brands to curate the vibe you’re looking for.
If You’re Feeling Bad & Bougie
The Original Candle
If you’re the bougie friend of the group, this candle is for you. Hanifa has become a staple luxury brand; with celebs like Tracee Ellis Ross, Jennifer Hudson, Naomi Campbell, and Danielle Brooks seen in her designs, they have become everyone's favorite brand. They recently launched their first candle, The Original. The candle is infused with notes of mandarin, orange blossom, caramel, sandalwood, jasmine sambac, and vanilla.
When Wash Day Comes...
"Wash Day" Candle
Cavo
Need some inspiration to get up and section that hair so you can get to washing? Not to worry. This pineapple, mango coconut milk, and sugar candle will have your house smelling as good as your favorite conditioner.
Wellness Girl Necessity
Sunday in Brooklyn Candle
If you’re a girl who loves clean scents that clear the energy in your home and feel like the best Sunday you ever had, you need this candle. Infused with wild basil and lemongrass, it’s guaranteed to help you find your zen.
For Sunday Brunch If You’re Hosting
Champagne Showers
Champagne Showers is the perfect candle for a birthday celebration, Sunday brunch night in, or toast to your next big win! The candle includes a blend of bright bergamot, peach fizz, and creamy woods. It’s a bubbly fragrance that’s as sophisticated as our girl, Jackie Aina.
After You Listen To SZA
"After A Good Cry" Candle
Cavo
Let the tears flow, and let the healing begin. This rainwater, lavender, vanilla, and bean and bourbon candle is just what the doctor ordered if you’re getting over a breakup. But once you’re done crying, just remember you're worthy of much more, okay?
For The Lover Girl Era
"Love" Luxury Candle
If you’re done crying and have found the one you’ve been waiting for, let this candle burn as warm as your love for your new boo. Harlem Candle Co.'s "Love" fragrance represents a dramatic, romantic theme with both masculine and feminine accords melding beautifully together, infused with crisp apple and watery green notes.
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