Women Are Using Yoni Steams To Heal Themselves From Reproductive Issues And Sexual Traumas
My conversations with my mother and sistah-friends are honest, heartfelt, and humorous when it comes to our yoni (womb/vaginal) wellness and sexual health. (Yes, I have those conversations with my mother).
I remember being in my pre-teen and teenage years, my mother would always keep it 100 about the sacredness of my vaginal.
She said that my vagina was sacred and I need to protect and care for my vagina because it is very important for my health and womanhood.
My mother insisted that every man is not deserving of my vagina because due to lack of respect, diseases, and lustful and one-dimensional behavior some men displayed negative spirits could pollute and traumatize my yoni.
As a teenager, I used to clutch my pearls because my mother kept it too real. At 32 going on 33, I give thanks to my mother for stepping out her comfort zone and passing on that wisdom from her mother and grandmother onto me. I'm also thankful for The Almighty for giving me permission to receive that important and lifelong message of self-protection and self-perseverance.
I always knew about yoni steaming through conversations with my sistah-friends and attending workshops and teleclasses on womb/yoni care. I even participated in a womb wellness restoration group coaching program that helped me to become aware of the power of my yoni and how to release negativity and anger that surrounded my yoni.
We underestimate the importance of it until something major occurs such as infertility, fibroids, PCOS, and other vaginal/reproductive health issues.
Many women each year are diagnosed with cervical cancer, fibroids, PCOS and other gynecological issues. On top of that, women of color don't receive quality and equal treatment from physicians. Physicians perform early hysterectomies, push clinical trial treatment drugs and other unethical treatment on women of color. Our bodies have been used as science experiments for eons. Hence, why we must start advocating for equality and quality of holistic health especially womb care. We have to really take the time to care for ourselves holistically, and have honest conversations about our inner care. Now is the time to start healing ourselves and wombs.
Our womb is intricate, delicate and powerful. Not only do we birth human beings, but we birth civilizations, ideas, love, and creativity. Our wombs are our 24/7 navigation and intuitive guide. When something is off balance, we feel it in our womb. Unfortunately, our wombs are often, unprotected, disrespected, and policed by systemic racism and oppression through reproductive policies and laws, and disrespected by patriarchy. People make unspoken decisions about our wombs without our consent. We often have our wombs monitored by friends and family members, and they're polluted through processed and fast foods, medications, misdiagnoses, hyper-sexualize behavior.
We suffer in silence by not taking care of ourselves and truly loving ourselves right where we are in life even when times are hard. We break our own bodies down due to not properly resting, nurturing, or nourishing ourselves and wombs. We have to make a stance and not allow ourselves and our sistahs to no longer be quiet and participate in self-destructive behaviors to our inner FLYness and sacredness.
Some women turn to vagina steaming sessions to heal and release sexual trauma. Others may turn to steaming for relief and healing if they are suffering from uterine fibroids, painful menstruation, irregular menstrual cycles, ovarian cysts, and endometriosis.
I decided to regularly participate in DIY yoni steaming at home because I needed some inner healing.
I suffer from hypothyroidism (low thyroid functioning) and Menorrhagia (prolonged and heavy menses). Over the holiday season, I found myself on the sick and shut-in list. I was suffering from heavy bleeding and cramping due to hormone imbalances and low thyroid functioning. My menstrual cramps were unbearable to the point, I couldn't sit up and participate in daily living activities. I was hyper-emotional and intolerable to be around due to the inner suffering. I was going through pads and panties like water.
Yikes and Yuck!
I had to buy overnight pads just to keep up with the heavy flow. This was a major disruption in my life that I could no longer tolerate.
I decided to make a drastic change and start researching yoni steaming along with discussing my journey with some of my fellow sistah-friends who also yoni steam on a regular basis. I came across so many positive and honest articles about vagina steaming and the benefits of why you should steam from other brown girls who discovered a drastic change in their holistic lifestyle. I read how some have shorter and painless menses, the betterment of their fertility, and the decrease of vaginal dryness. In other words, the wet, wet came back in full effect.
While reading the articles, I was like, "Yassssss, I am steaming by any means necessary." One of my sistah friends stated that she yoni steam a few weeks after giving birth. She stated that she healed quicker and restored her uterus quicker.
So, I took the leap of faith and yoni steamed...
I went to my local health store, Fertile Underground in Providence (since closed) to purchase my dried herbs. Herbs cost around $1.50 to $3.00 per oz in a bag. I spent under $25 and have plenty of herbs to last me about two months. You want to use dried herbs instead of essential oils because our vagina is very sensitive to using hot oils. Our yoni is very delicate so please handle with care.
Drea's Herbs of Choice:
- Lavender is a sweet-smelling herb that helps with cleansing and healthy uterine functioning.
- Rosemary helps with circulating out old fluids and blood. It helps purify and stimulate the yoni
- Lemon Balm helps with reducing occasional itchiness and it smells delightful
- Dandelion helps improve endocrine and reproductive health. It helps rid excess estrogen, sugars, and toxins of the body
- Marigold helps ease and treat cramping
- Burdock root helps with balancing hormones
- Peppermint helps with restoration of the yoni and enhance energy
- Chamomile helps with cramping as well. It smells yummy and it is great for soothing and relaxation.
Drea's DIY Home Setup:
- Research what plants/herbs you need for your steam. Do you need to steam due to your menses? Do you want to tighten up your yoni? You want so steam because you want to try something new? This is when you need to sit down and ask yourself what your yoni needs. We all have different needs for our yoni. You want to steam a few weeks before your menstrual cycle to ease the symptoms of you are steaming to ease menstruation.
- Prepare your yoni steam by pre-preparing the herbs by placing them in a mason jar. You need only a cup for your herbs
- Fill your pot with filtered water and add your herbs to the filtered water
- Boil your herbs and water together for about 10-20 minutes. Let steeped for about 5 minutes before adding to your bowl. Place your forearm need the herb infused water to ensure the comfort of the water temperature. You don't want to burn your yoni outer tissue
- I don't have a yoni steam chair so I cleaned my toilet bowl and place my pot inside the toilet
- Make sure you have tea, water, reading materials ready so you are not disturbed during your steaming session. Also, change into a long skirt, put thick socks on along with a long sleeve t-shirt to withhold the steam. You want to cover and wrap yourself with a thick blanket from neck to feet to ensure the steam is not being let out.
- Remove your underwear before sitting on the chair or toilet. Open your legs to allow the steam to enter into your yoni
- Steam for 20-30 minutes
- Once yoni steam is complete, go lay down and wrap yourself under a blanket to restore your body. Steaming relaxes and restores your body. You might become lightheaded the first time due to the steam cleansing and detoxifying.
I am officially a regular yoni steamer. Yoni steam part of my self-love and self-care routine and I do it weekly up until my menses begins. I usually make it a yoni steam, spa day at home because I am healing my inner FLYness, thyroid, and loving myself more and more.
The herbs I use are very beneficial for decreasing my cramps and help cleanse my holistic FLYness.
When I steam, I set loving and healing intentions for the steam and for my work week. I usually meditate and journey during my steam session. It gets emotional at times because I am releasing a lot of toxins from my body, mind, and spirit.
This is my personal 'Me" time in the comfort of my own home.
Have you ever had a yoni steam?
*Originally published on Brown Girl From Boston
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Andrea C. Imafidon is a Brown Girl From Boston, Certified Holistic Life Coach, Blogger, and Speaker from Boston, MA. Brown Girl From Boston blog fuse Hip Hop lyrics from Women Emcees and positive affirmations to promote self-care, self-love, and self-empowerment to Brown Girls around the World! Connect with Drea on Facebook and IG @BrownGirlFromBoston
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” At close to two decades of working with married couples, I agree with this man 1000 percent. It’s actually the main motivation for why I once penned, “Are You Sure You're Actually FRIENDS With Your Spouse?” because, the reality is, if you’re not friends with the person who you vowed to share every aspect of your life with, for the rest of your life, it’s going to be very difficult (if not damn near impossible) to honor that level of commitment. Without question, I will now and forever die on the hill that if you like your partner, you can make it through the not-so-in-love-right-now moments. Vice versa? Eh…not so much.
A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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Featured image by jose carlos cerdeno martinez/Getty Images