Breastfeeding Bride Speaks Out On How Society Sexualizes Breasts But Shuns Public Breastfeeding
Sometimes you have to take care of business, even when you don't want to. No one knows this better than a breastfeeding mother.
When their babies are hungry, breastfeeding moms have been known to feed her chid in the middle of graduation ceremonies, while shopping for groceries, and in Brandi Hargette's case, as you're getting your makeup done before your wedding ceremony.
The 26-year-old recently married her husband, Chris Francis (27) in Maryland on Jan. 9. While she was getting dolled up for her special day, her one-year-old baby, Zora, got hungry, and of course Brandi had to take care of business. The result? An extremely beautiful moment between mother and child that was captured on camera.
Brandi told the Huffington Post that "breastfeeding her baby girl, Zora, while getting her makeup done on her wedding day encapsulated the perfect combination of self-care and motherhood." She feels that it was important that her daughter be part of their ceremony, whether she was breastfeeding, or even to just cry. She had this to say about the heartfelt photo,
"Zora’s a part of us... wasn't worried about her messing up the moment."
For many new mothers, breastfeeding during a special moment can feel confusing. Many people find pushback from others when they do something as natural as use their breasts for feeding their child. But not Brandi. Xonecole.com caught up with the loc'd beauty, and she told us that she's way more carefree about breastfeeding, and it's part of how she liberates herself was a woman.
"I'm not operating in fearlessness, I am intentional about being brave. I'd say that liberation is a daily practice. Not necessarily something I came to and then acted on."
Brandi is very brave, and loves to share her bravery on her social media accounts. She has words of vulnerability sprinkled across her Instagram photos as captions that highlight who she is–a mother that will breastfeed openly in Nike stores; a woman that brazenly discuss her body post-baby, and someone who isn't afraid to address the challenges of both woman-and motherhood.
This is probably why her wedding photo is being met with such warm reception. In the past, the young mother has shared photos of herself breastfeeding her child on Instagram with the hashtag #NormalizeBreastfeeding. Even though breastfeeding is natural, Brandi finds it interesting that people are taken aback by such a natural act. She tells xoNecole:
In all sincerity, the fact that questions like this still need to be answered is exactly why I chose to share it. It wasn't a matter of necessity as much as it was a matter of sharing an everyday experience. With all the foolishness that is consistently shared on social platforms without so much as the blink of an eye happening in response, my child eating should be no more eye raising or controversial.
On a more soapbox'y note, the way society sexualizes the female body in parts but refuses to praise it as a whole for what it is literally created to do is beyond me. My body is capable of not just creating life BUT sustaining it. Instead of being amazed by how miraculous that is, folks want to focus on a boob that's not being displayed for their perverted pleasures. I reject that entirely.
But just because Brandi is more carefree about breastfeeding doesn't mean that she hasn't felt the sting of stares from people who disapprove of her breastfeeding in public. Fortunately, her husband has supported her, and is a champion for breastfeeding, and he hopes that society will be more accepting of women who have to breastfeed in public. Via Huff Post:
"I guess because the way society has conditioned our minds -- the same applies to breastfeeding as it does with other things...I want people to be more open to the fact that this is natural."
Brandi advises breastfeeding mothers to talk honest and openly with their partners about breastfeeding, and to tell their partnesr how exactly they can help assist them with safely breastfeeding in public.
If you're in a relationship, I'd also say be really intentional about the conversations you all have to set the boundaries for your experience. Conversations with Chris made it clear that I needed his support but also his protection in a sense, should something go wrong. I have friends who have had hostile confrontations with people for nursing in public. We both know that I'm the more confrontational person between us two, but should someone confront me (which has thankfully, never occurred), it's important that I not be that "crazy mom" without having his backing. His presence and passion about my being able to nurse publicly needs to match my own.
In the meantime, Brandi reveals that her carefree attitude toward life is something she hopes will be a characteristic that her daughter adopts as she grows older. Huffington Post reported:
[Brandi] wants Zora to live and make decisions "consciously" throughout her life but to also enjoy being a "carefree black girl" -- despite living in a society where black lives are still marginalized.
"I feel carefreeness in itself is a revolution," Chantalle said.
As Zora grows into a big girl who is learning to potty train and wean, Brandi looks forward to the day Zora learns to soothe herself. But like any mom, she's going to miss the precious bonding time she had with Zora. Looking down into her eyes, she gets to see her beautiful daughter's smile as she's satisfied by the sweet nectar of her mother's milk. What mother wouldn't miss that?
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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6 Spring Events To Boost Your Professional And Social Networks
When spring arrives, we all want to be outside, looking fabulous, and back to socializing. And now is the perfect time to add a few great events to your calendar to get you through the quarter in order to make new friends, build new partnerships, and talk new opportunities to level up.
Spring is a high season for networking and social events for Black women, with many organizations and event entrepreneurs booking prime locations and offering dynamic experiences that you can maximize in whatever way possible. Write down your goals, and get out there. Start with a few of these events between now and the start of summer:
New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival, April 23 - May 3
The New Orleans Jazz And Heritage Festival is a 10-day event held over two weekends, bringing together thousands of musicians, craftspeople, and food lovers to share in common threads of culture in the heart of New Orleans. You'll get to enjoy works by artisans local to Louisiana as well as from across the U.S. and around the world.
Black Food Truck Festival, April 26-28
Hosted in Charleston, S.C., the Black Food Truck Festival includes an opening party, access to more than two dozen food truck vendors, and a time to workout with other attendees. Charleston has long been known as a Southern foodie destination, with global recognition due to James Beard-awarded chefs heading popular restaurants there and a renewed focus on Gullah and Geechee culture and food in the region. And what better conversation ice-breaker than to talk about food with a new acquaintance?
Black Women's Mental Health Conference, May 4
Hosted by New York University, this is a one-day event to tackle issues of mental wellness and health that uniquely affect Black women and girls. The keynote speaker for this year is Kim Young, MSW, LCSW, founder of Dope Black Social Worker® and host of the podcast Revolutionary Hoodrat, and leading licensed professionals in the field will offer their insights and share their experiences. And, of course, no college-led event is without time blocked specifically for networking.
Strength of a Woman Festival, May 11-12
Anything with Mary J. Blige headlining or leading is a win, especially if we're talking about women's empowerment and enjoyment. This event will be held in New York City, and beyond the performances from some of our favorites like Muni Long, Jill Scott, and The Clark Sisters, there will be a Gospel Brunch. And even if you're not able to attend or concerts aren't your thing, just being in the city during that time will mean you're bound to run into plenty of other women to network with at local bars and restaurants nearby.
Carefree Black Girl Cookout, May 4
Held in the Queen City, Charlotte, N.C., this is a day festival amplifying the voices and brands of Black women entrepreneurs, artists, and creatives. There will be vendors, glam and beauty bars, and complimentary meals for the first hour (according to the platform's website). They're hosting another cookout in Philadelphia on May 25.
Black Women Leading Live, May 13-16
Touted as an “intimate retreat + conference,” this Virginia Beach, VA event will be held on a resort and is offering a professional development experience led by Laura Knights, founder of the Black Woman Leading® program and podcast. It’s an ideal fit if you’re a mid-level or senior professional, as the topics and approach are set to cater to those levels of career experience, with coaches and speakers pouring into attendees with a holistic approach.
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