Brandi Mallory is redefining what it means to be a mover and shaker and she is doing it one dance routine at a time.
The Atlanta-based makeup artist and former Extreme Weight Loss contestant is dancing her pounds off and going viral while doing it. In a video posted to Instagram earlier this month, Brandi popped, locked, and dropped it through intricate choreo to a “Thriller" remix, and it was nothing short of amazing. Over 200,000K views later, the Dance Your Pounds Off movement is in full effect – thanks in part to Brandi slaying the fitness game and her unapologetic body confidence.
Dance Your Pounds Off was not the beginning of Brandi's weight loss journey, but instead more so of a continuation. Her journey to weight loss began as a contestant on Extreme Weight Loss at a weight of 400 pounds. There, she learned the key to staying active is doing something you love. And it was through Zumba that she rediscovered just how much she loved to dance. Not long after, in October 2014, she got a call from Dwight, the owner of Dance Your Pounds Off, that would change her world forever. He asked her if she could speak on a confidence panel he was hosting, and later invited her to take part in his dance classes.
“Dwight is amazing. He's amazing at not allowing you to just be regular you. Like, he forces you to get out of your head. He can also tell when you have something that's going on. A lot of people think that Dance Your Pounds Off is about the weight loss aspect," Brandi tells xoNecole exclusively.
“Of course, weight loss is the obvious aspect for him, but it's actually has everything to do with dancing the pounds off that we carry around daily, that we carry on our shoulders. Bills, health issues that our family members may be going through or experiencing, relationship issues. Things that everybody goes through. And he thinks that the dance floor is the best place to kind of dance that negative energy off. He breathes life into people, so I really couldn't imagine being in a better place."
Despite where she is in her journey now with Dwight and Dance Your Pounds Off, it wasn't until earlier this year that Brandi committed to the movement. She went from going to a Pounds Off class every now and then, to attending classes every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, with makeup gigs and travel being the only exceptions for her being MIA.
She described the motivation behind rededicating herself to fitness with Dance Your Pounds Off, saying, “I said if I'm going to do this, I'm going to really start appreciating the body that has gotten me so far because I couldn't see what I felt."
What's probably even more noticeable about Brandi, other than the fact that the girl can MOVE, is how confidently she rocks a sports bra and embraces the loose skin that's still there after losing so much weight --175 pounds to be exact.
“I kinda wanted to regain an appreciation for myself and I decided, okay, I'm going to do it shirtless."
"I don't know why that was the thing, but it was more so about wanting to appreciate my body. It has gotten me through so many things… Obviously, nobody likes the rolls, nobody likes the jiggle, but oh my God, I've lost so much weight. Should I really be this angry and hurt and disappointed? And so, it was just really a way to kind of change that."
Making that decision is not only an inspiration and a positive change for Brandi and how she views her body, but it also inspires all of us to love the bodies we have. Brandi still has fitness goals, but is learning to love and appreciate her body as is. Since becoming a part of Dance Your Pounds Off in January, Brandi has lost 20-25 pounds and she has a goal of losing 25 more by next January.
At the rate she's going, we have a feeling she'll make her goal in no time and that she'll have plenty of fun while doing it.
Be sure to keep up with her fitness journey by following her on Instagram.
If you're in the Atlanta area, check out the classes Dance Your Pounds Off has to offer here. Online classes will be available soon.
- Brandi E. (@brandimallory) • Instagram photos and videos ›
- Fitness Fridays: Brandi Mallory Went Viral For Dancing The Pounds ... ›
- Dancer Brandi Mallory's Proud Of 'Jiggles' After Weight Loss: Watch ... ›
- Brandi Mallory Is Inspiring Body Positivity Through Dance Your ... ›
- Dance Your Pounds Off's Brandi Mallory inspires you to love your body ›
- Meet Brandi Mallory - YouTube ›
- Body Positivity Over Perfection || Brandi Mallory is #PerfectlyImperfect ›
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A basis for why I feel this way? Another quote immediately comes to mind. Famed author Jane Austen once wrote: “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” You know, back when I also wrote “10 Things You Should Absolutely Expect From Your Friendships” for the platform, I shared that some of the traits of a friend — a real friend — include loyalty, honesty and compassion. And if you can’t say that your spouse is this way (as they say the same thing about you), chile…what is y’all doin’ over there?
So, why am I talking about marriage when this article is supposed to be about friendship? It’s because, something that life has taught me, kinda sorta the hard way, is we should vet potential friends — especially close friends — almost like we would a spouse.
And if you keep reading, I think you’ll get why I framed the intro in the way that I did.
Why Friendships Are Still Hella Essential
GiphyOkay, so before I get into why it seems that people have fewer friends than they ever had before, let me just say that, even as an ambivert who enjoys my own company and has absolutely no problem with being alone a good amount of the time, every personality type needs friends. That’s not just my opinion;science makes it a fact. Not only do studies support thathealthy friendships help us to feel more satisfied with our lives, but they can also reduce our chances of experiencing depression, stress, and anxiety and they increase longevity overall.
This is why — without going too deep because it’s kind of another topic for another time — it’s important to not allow past hurts and disappointments from former friends (or folks you thought were your friends) to cause you to build up walls as you declare that you don’t need anyone. When you do that, all you’re really doing is working against your own health and well-being. The saying that “no man (or woman) is an island”? It is absolutely true.
That said, even if it’s just a couple of people, make sure that you’ve got individuals in your life who you can call a friend and, in turn, they can say the very same thing about you, okay?
Are All of Those People Your Actual Friends? Or Do You Just Happen to Know a Lot of Folks?
GiphyAight but what if you happen to be someone who swings on the other side of few? Meaning, if someone were to ask you how many friends you had, you’d quickly declare that you’ve got too many to count. Listen, not to patronize or anything yet, but whenever I hear folks (especially if they are over 35) say something along those lines, it takes me back to high school — a time when so many of us thought that so long as we knew a ton of folks and/or we were popular, clearly, we had many friends.
Wisdom and pure ole’ dealing with humans on a consistent basis will teach you that an article that I wrote a few years back for the platform has a title that is spot-on: “According To Experts, We Only Have A Few Friends — Here's Why.” According to it, the average American (based on a survey that was conducted) has somewhere around 16 friends. Oh, but wait. Last fall, I wrote another article for the platform entitled, “What's The 'Five Friendship Theory' All About?” According to it, if you’re someone who takes the word “friend” and the responsibility that comes along with it very seriously and quite literally, as an adult, you can probably only maintain about five close friendships.
Why? Well, that brings in another article that I once wrote: “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient.'” Chile, I don’t know about y’all but my friends know that if I call you that, you can call me in the middle of the night, and you can have money towards your rent (I’m not your mama but we all have hard times sometimes) and I’m gonna have your back in a way where you’ll wonder where you stop and I start — and no, I don’t have a lot of bandwidth for a ton of those people.
Okay, but what if you’re someone who is like, “I know that I have more than 16 and definitely more than five friends, no question”? The next thing that I would encourage you to explore is a theory by Aristotle (check out “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends”). Without even realizing it, many of us have people who we use the word “friend” for when…it’s kind of like how social media apps say “friend”: we’re familiar with one another and enjoy some of the same things, we might even have some of the same goals; at the same time, though, we’re not “all-encompassing friends.” We just get along really well at work (utility friends) or like to go to brunch at the same spots sometimes (pleasure friends).
Taking all of this into account, are you sure that you have a ton of actual friends? Or do you just happen to know a lot of people and you use that word for the lack of having another?
And that brings me to my next point.
There’s A LOT of Space Between “Friend” and “Enemy”
GiphyIf you read a lot of my friendship content, something that you will notice me saying quite a bit is that there is quite a bit of space between friend and enemy. It needs to be mentioned, as often as possible, because there are some people who get offended if you don’t consider them to be a friend — and that is unfortunate. I say that because the conclusion shouldn’t automatically be that they are your enemy just because “friend” isn’t what immediately comes to your mind.
They can be an acquaintance. They can be “cool people.” There is someone in my life who, while we’re not friends in the traditional sense, we are each other’s confidant; years ago, we agreed that we would be the place to tell each other whatever and it would stay between us — that is the main purpose that we serve in each other’s lives. Some people, you may consider to be spiritual family in the sense that you care for them and have some deeply profound things in common and still, they are not exactly a friend (I mean, a lot of blood relatives aren’t “friends” with each other).
All I’m trying to say here is we’re all too old now to only put folks in two boxes when it comes to this particular relational dynamic: friend or enemy. So, take some time out to seriously reflect on what you consider the various people in your life to be. I can promise you from personal experience that the sooner you know and the clearer you are, the easier it will be on everybody — because needs and expectations will be clear to you (and them once you articulate them) too.
What Got Folks to Having Less Friends? The Pandemic Plays a Significant Part.
GiphySo finally on to what inspired this piece to begin with. A part of it was an article that was published last year by Big Think entitled, “Americans more than ever have no friends. Here are 5 steps to make more friends.” Another was something that The New Yorker published back in 2021; it’s entitled “What COVID did to friendship.” Y’all don’t have enough time and I don’t have enough space to get into the fact that, just because the media may be talking about it less, that doesn’t mean that we’re not still in a pandemic.
In fact,one article stated my thoughts on it quite well when it said, “The real question, then, is not whether COVID is still a pandemic, but how much COVID illness and death are we willing to accept?” SMDH. And one of the things that has come with experiencing COVID is an interesting type of PTSD: detachment. There are plenty of articles out here to support the fact that my saying that is not merely my opinion.
Even according to the American Psychological Association, loneliness damn near skyrocketed, especially during lockdown and, unfortunately, a lot of people have not recovered from it. That’s why it did not surprise me at all when I read that more than ever, many people do not consider anyone to be a best friend; fewer people are relying on friends for any type of real support, and there is a semi-steady decline in people having friends, especially quality friendships, overall.
In fact, as far as close friends go, currently, close to 50 percent of Americans say that they only have three or fewer, and a relevant contributor to that was what the pandemic revealed as far as people’s proactive participation in other individuals’ lives (I actually read that young women were the ones who lost touch with friends during the peak of the pandemic the most). I also thought it was interesting that some studies cite that 12 percent of Americans say that they don’t have any friends at all.
Is the pandemic the only cause? No. So are things like people working more hours and spending more time online than they probably should (which also increased due to the pandemic, though). To that, Teen Vogue once published, “Social Media Is Impacting IRL Friendships” and Healthline once published, “Social Media Is Killing Your Friendships.” Then we also have to factor in having families of our own which can also take up a lot of time, and that sometimes can cause us to forget to nurture our friendships; so, before you know it, they fade to black. Not due to a fallout or anything, just…life.
And all of this? Some people are saying that it has led to what is known as a “friendship recession.” A huge flag about that is there are reports that a drop in close friends can cultivate a type of loneliness that is just as health hazardous as smoking a whopping 15 cigarettes a day. Not good, y’all. Not. Good.
Quality over Quantity Is Key. Just Make Sure That You Have a Friend or Two.
GiphyOkay, so what is my overall point? That’s a fair question. Just like sometimes “life life-ing” can make us forget to tend to our friendships, if you don’t stumble across content like this, you might not even realize that you’re feeling mentally stressed, emotionally strained, or super isolated and it’s all because you need to prioritize your friendships — because your mind, body, and spirit need them. Again, science has proved it.
At the same time, if, like a client of mine, you find yourself getting a little bit paranoid because you have noticed that over the past several years, your close friend count has been far less than what it used to be, this article proves that you are absolutely not (pardon the pun) alone. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with having a very small circle of friends because quality is gonna beat out quantity every time; you just need to assess when it happened and why so that you can be sure that you are choosing it to play out that way and it’s not due to some underlying cause that you hadn’t taken into consideration — until now.
An Italian priest by the name of Thomas Aquinas once said, “The happy man in this life needs friends.” Even if it’s just one or two people, please make sure that you have folks who aren’t just your friend but your very close friend. You need them. They need you.
Everyone else, figure out where they fall and nurture accordingly. Life is a lot. We all get by with the help of our friends. Real talk, y’all. Thank goodness for them.
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