Why This Beyonce Dancer Broke Off Her Engagement Two Months Before The Formation World Tour
"I dream it, I work hard, I grind til I own it...
Saying that every woman dreams of having it all can feel like the understatement of the century.
We all crave that work-life balance that is inclusive of an amazing career that we enjoy that keeps us financially afloat, a wonderful marriage to the partner of our dreams, and eventually, maybe, kids that are a little them and a little us to join the mix. We're constantly given messages that we can “have it all", we just have to work for it.
For Dnay B., who rose to notoriety when she got into formation as a background dancer for Queen Bey herself, most women might look at her life and think she has it all – the dream job, the ability to travel the world, rocking the stage of massive stadiums with the girl boss of all bosses Beyonce.
But, with big dreams come big sacrifices.
Like many successful, ambitious women, Dnay B. found herself making a choice between what she loved so dearly and who she loved so effortlessly as both were promising a happy, abundant future for her – just in different ways. It all came to a head while touring the world as a principal dancer alongside Beyonce for the Formation World Tour in 2016. Staring at the height of the ladder this early in her career and looking down at what could be the man of her dreams, she had to make a decision.
The guy in her life became the man of her dreams as the result of a budding friendship blossoming into something more. “He was my boyfriend for three years in high school," she recalled. But like many high school sweethearts, the puppy love faded for some time as she began to explore more career options at 18. The two reconnected in 2010, a bit more mature, and settled in their ways at 22 years old.
“He's always been my friend, [we've] always been in communication with each other, but we just started hanging out again. He was very supportive at the time," Dnay said about their rekindled love. Still, an important aspect of their relationship seemed to have trickled down from familial patterns. “I always ended up with guys that would be like, 'Oh that's cool, you dance' but they would never come to a show, or never watch it on TV, or anything like that." Reminiscent of her father, who she obviously adores and seeks for advice, she found herself attracting lovers who mimicked his shortcomings – something she was able to forgive in a parent, but would come to learn that she was unable to forgive in a lover. He was different in this regard, which made her appreciate their relationship even more.
The challenge of the relationship didn't appear until her career went into overdrive. In 2013, she got a last-minute call from Beyonce's team that they wanted her – immediately.
“Everything was good for the first two years, but it was right when I started the [The Mrs. Carter World] tour and how I had got the tour, that things were just a little shaky," Dnay expressed. “I literally found out about the tour the day that I had to leave. So, it was like dropping a ton of bricks or buildings on somebody. He had already been through a lot, which I understand. At the time, his mom was dying of cancer. He's an only child so he was looking for [and] he needed support, he needed love. But at the same time, I was stepping into my own light and being recognized as this new dancer embarking on a new tour."
Still, the relationship continued on in good merit, even as she traveled the world. “Three months turned into six months; six months turned into a year; a year turned into two years," she said. “And in that time, his mom passed away, I wasn't able to go, so there was just a lot of resentment."
Stuck between a rock and a hard place – the want to be physically present for your lover in need and having to stay focused for the most transformational time in your career – Dnay felt the heat. She wanted to make the relationship last, but she was also working a rigorous schedule day in and day out. On top of that, she wasn't receiving much support on her end, either. “We would talk when we could and I would see him when I could, but because my schedule was so demanding, he was like, 'I can't just be dropping everything because you have three days off.'"
Still, he also wanted to prove to Dnay that he was committed to their relationship. On October 29th, 2015, on her 28th birthday, he surprised her with a marriage proposal. It was something they had always talked about, but for Dnay, the timing was off.
“I think in his mind, he felt it was going to change my mind about what I wanted to do. It's what every little girl dreams about, but because I'm a little different…the outcome wasn't really what he expected."
Whether we care to admit it or not, a lot of the entertainment that is pushed our way as young girls leads to a servant mentality where we're taught that our voices, our gifts, our desires inherently come second to the men we may grow to love and adore. For black women, in particular, we are often taught that good men are rare and that you must hold on to the one you get once you find one – this mentality can become crippling to our strength and our potential.
That's why Beyonce – a woman who demonstrates that you can have a bomb ass career, a loving marriage, and kids, too (aka you can have it all and not settle, sis) – played such an important role in Dnay's life at a crucial time in her journey. With powerful women figures from her mother, step-mom, aunts, grandparents, and more, Beyonce gave her a name and a mentality for both what she learned from them and what it was she was seeking; not just feminism, but the courage to want and demand more.
“I guess I really started becoming aware of my independence," she confessed. “I knew I was over the relationship in February (two months before the first tour date of the Formation World Tour). It just took some time to build up the confidence to actually tell him… it took me those months to really deal with it."
It's no coincidence that the daily backdrop to all of Dnay's woes was all of the critically acclaimed songs on Beyonce's Lemonade visual album. Not only did Dnay assist in creating the beautiful imagery onscreen and onstage, but she was living it right along with everyone else who experienced the power of her songs and lyrics. An album that chronicles the story of love lost, abandoned, scorned, forgiven, and manifested into rebirth and activism – Dnay found her inner strength. It's no surprise that “Don't Hurt Yourself" became her motto.
“During the practice for 'Freedom,' we had to dance in the pool for the tour. And I am not a water girl, at all – I don't do water; I don't go to the pool; I don't go to the sprinklers. I don't do any of that," Dnay laughed. “And I don't know why the choreographers chose me to be the test dummy for the pool. So, we're in this pool and [Beyonce] is like, 'Oh, this is going to be perfect!' And [at that moment], I fell. And when I fell, I sort of fell fast. And I was like, 'Oh my god, I'm drowning, I'm drowning!'" Disoriented, Beyonce offered her a word of assistance. “She was like, 'Dnay, you're standing straight up – open your eyes.' I just felt like I was 10 feet underwater."
“Every night that I did that performance, it was just so freeing," she expressed. “I never felt sad… I just felt such a huge release every night, every time I hear that song, it just takes me back to that moment when I fell and I'm just standing up and I'm free. I'm not drowning, I'm not dead. I thought I was going to die, but I didn't. [It was] a strong release of so many different emotions. It's like you're being baptized every night and just washing away all the negativity, all the sins, everything that's wrong in your life. You just get to be free and pure after it."
Following the proposal and with a renewed and even deeper sense of purpose, Dnay found herself drifting further from her partner. “[I was like] OK, this is what I want to do. This - [dancing] - is my goal. This is my path that I'm setting for myself; the outcome wasn't really what he expected. So, his faith kind of fell through in a sense. And in the end, it was like, I'm not happy," she added. “He was stressing me out because he wanted me to be home, he wanted me to be cooking, he wanted me to do this, and I was like, I can't. I can't be stressed out at home and then I'm stressed out trying to learn these steps on this floor. I can't do both. I have to ultimately do what's going to make me happy."
Happiness and having it all for Dnay was choosing to leave him behind and continuing forward while honoring her journey, her talent, and her power. “I felt like I was leaving behind sadness, doubt, negativity, frustration – just from being loved the wrong way. I can't say he didn't love me, but it wasn't the love that I necessarily needed," Dnay admitted. “I left behind so many different things. I left behind a lot of tears. And I just get to walk away with my joy. I feel like I found joy leaving the relationship. Because happiness is temporary but when you find joy it's something that's unexplainable."
What's her advice for anyone else who may be struggling with the same battle?
“I would say that you should get to know who you are and get to know the things that you like and the things that you want and the things you need for you to find your joy," Dnay asserted. “Without challenge, there's no change. And you don't want to just be in a challenging relationship and think things are going to change. If it's not helping you, you're not going to grow. So, you need to be able to walk away from the challenge for there to be change."
Dnay's next personal challenge is empowering women, men, and children through her events.
“My workshops are not necessarily to become the perfect hip-hop dancer, but more so to remember why you love to dance," she said. “[I look forward to] walking in my truth and sharing my story, sharing my light with people. And I hope it just touches someone to be great."
To keep up with Dnay B. and her ever-growing dance resume, follow her on Instagram or visit her website to see if she's coming to a city near you.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
It was early spring 2023 when Joey Bada$ pulled up for a chat with us on love and relationships courtesy of our Dana Blair-hosted "xoMan Live." There, he clarified that though we felt the sizzling chemistry between him and singer/actress Serayah radiating off our screens in the music video for his single, "Show Me" and rumors were swirling of a possible romance, that they were just friends.
"We got a pretty cool friendship, and I think she’s gorgeous. I think she’s talented," Joey shared with xoNecole at the time. He would later dead the rumors even further by announcing his relationship status, "I'm single." But he'd leave the door open for the possibility of a thing, adding, "Things could happen."
Joey Badass Clarifies His Relationship With SerayahYouTube
Since then, things have indeed been happening between Joey and Serayah, who was previously romantically linked to Jacob Latimore, as their "just friends" status has seemingly blossomed into something more. The love they imitated in the name of art proves to be much more beautiful in real life. "I’m staying ready, so I don’t gotta get ready if that makes sense, you know what I mean," he shared in our interview about feeling "ready" for a relationship. "I don’t want to say that it’s anything I’m looking for, like I understand the way the law of attraction works."
These days, the look of love is undeniable and we are here for this couple showcasing their deep affinity for one another out loud whenever possible. Keep reading for a brief timeline of the love between Serayah McNeill and Joey Bada$$.
June 2023: Joey Bada$$ Flies Serayah Out for an Epic Birthday Trip
In what is regarded as their first hard launch as a couple, Joey took to Instagram to share a compilation of short videos they took while boo'd up on a birthday trip for Serayah's 28th in a tropical paradise. After previous denials of a romance, the Raising Kanan actor confirmed their relationship by captioning the post, "happy birthday my love."
A little over a week later, Serayah dropped her own version of a hard launch in a series of photos on IG showcasing some BTS moments of her and Joey.
August 2023: Joey Bada$$ Shouts Out Serayah For National GF Day
We stan! Joey took National Girlfriend Day as an opportunity to show love for Serayah, sharing on Instagram Story a series of never-before-seen photos and videos of some of the couple doing and enjoying life together.
January 2024: Serayah and Joey Celebrate His Birthday In St. Lucia
Birthday trips seem to be a welcomed tradition for this couple as they spent Joey's 29th birthday in paradise where they effectively brought the sand to the beach. "Celebrating you is something I'll always love to do," Serayah captioned her Instagram post to Joey and their tropical escape. Joey left in a comment of appreciation, "Aquemini," it read in a nod to the Outkast album, as well as the couple's sun signs.
September 2023: Joey and Serayah Pop Out at New York Fashion Week
Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images
From New York Fashion Week to international trips to Tokyo for Joey's shows, September 2023 proved to be a booked and busy month for the Flutter vocalist and the "Passports & Suitcases" artist. Joey shared a carousel of highlights of street-style moments in their matching outfits for the fashion event with the caption, "NYFW FESTIVITIES."
Serayah posted some Tokyo memories to her IG that didn't skimp on the Black love, writing, "tokyo was a dream."
February 2024: Serayah and Joey Take Fashion Week
This year, Serayah gave a BTS look at her time during February's New York Fashion Week, and of course, boyfriend Joey Bada$$ was there to show love and support.
February 2024: Serayah Teases The Arrival of New Heat with Throwbacks Of Her and Joey
What better way to announce the debut of your latest EP of R&B-meets-rap influences than to drop archives of your own relationship mirroring those same influences? ARCHIVES is out now.
March 2024: Serayah McNeill and Joey Bada$$ Attend ESSENCE Black Women in Hollywood
Monica Schipper/Getty Images
Serayah was a vision in gold as she graced the red carpet of the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony arm in arm with rapper beau Joey Bada$$. In February, Joey professed his forever love for Black women in "A Love Letter To Black Women," in partnership with Bumble. The "Fallin'" rapper began in the video, "I don’t think I tell you this enough, but you are so sacred to me."
"Just know you got my heart. The only one I’m coming home to. See, I been in my heart and mind, trying to find the right woman and they say that love is blind, but you looking right to me," later adding, "Please never forget how truly blessed you are. I’ll cater to your visions and be there while I’m growing your purpose. Real love is our language. And a Black woman is a blessing in my life."
March 2024: Joey Bada$$ Responds to Viral Video of Him and Serayah Arguing
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
In March, a viral video of the couple arguing and Serayah crying made rounds all over the internet and sparked speculation that Joey and Serayah had broken up. To squash the rumors, Joey assured inquiring minds that everything is good over here by posting a series of photos of the two of them loved up and enjoying a night out on the town, captioning it, "People all in our business they don’t even know the facts, they don’t see the shit we witness only what the cameras catch."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCE