Being Sexy While Pregnant: Are There Limits?
Turn down the sexy for what?
A woman's body goes through many changes during pregnancy, but does that mean she should cover up more, and reserve her sexy until after she's given birth?
Although Beyoncé remained covered and most about showing her bump throughout her first pregnancy with Blue Ivy, the expecting mom has been showing us more of her sexier side while carrying twins. And of course the Internet trolls and critics have been questioning whether or not it's too much.
Back in her 2014 documentary, Beyoncé opened up about how motherhood and the power behind it has added more to her fierce confidence:
"Just because you become a mother, doesn't mean you lose who you are... I know that finding my sensuality getting back into my body, being proud of growing up -- it was important to me that I expressed that in this music because I know that there are so many women that feel the same thing after they give birth. You can have your child, and you can still have fun, and still be sexy and still have dreams for yourself!"
[Tweet "Just because you become a mother, doesn't mean you lose who you are - Beyonce"]
Even singer Ciara recorded the whole track B.M.F (Bad Mother-F**Ker) boasting about being the baddest after "pushing out a 9 lb, 10 oz. baby!". She too started a huge internet debate with her most recent maternity shoot that involved baby Future and her husband Russell Wilson.
This is all nothing new though, celebrities have been showing off their sexy pregnant side for years! Now that social media is involved, shoots and photos have opened up the debate on what actions are deemed inappropriate for a pregnant woman-- pending the question should women push "pause" on their sexiness while being pregnant? Or is there no such thing and all women are created equal in their sexual being?
Last year, Blac Chyna had not one but TWO nude pregnancy shoots hit the internet which were the cause of a lot of chatter. She wasn't the only one, reality tv star and fashion designer Angela Simmons, who had a little boy, also posed in a sexy pregnancy shoot.
When Coco Austin, wife of rapper and actor Ice-T was pregnant, she flicked it up and showed off her tiny baby bump... and her lady lumps while six-and-a-half months pregnant with their first child. Never one to cower from a thong bikini or full-blown nudity, she showed off her toned belly, while also making sure to get a few flicks of the money shot -- her backside in a g-string.
As far as the skin meter goes, certain celebrities give more than expected. But as stated, many of them aren't too far off from the implied nudity shots that expectant mothers have taken in the past. Chyna's soon to be sisters-in-law Kim and Kourtney Kardashian have bared their bods and bumps for everything from magazine covers to social media.
Actresses Nia Long and Tia Mowry-Hardrict have graced the covers and pages of Ebony and People magazine, while nude with wombs, and there was no denying the beauty and glow that came from these gorgeous mothers to be. Not to mention, all of the aforementioned were with child in their later 30's (and even 40s with Nia) which, based on the stigmas and statistics against older women's abilities to conceive, is quite commendable and a feat all its own. So kudos to all the mothers out there, especially those defeating the odds!
In a nutshell, feeling sexy, confident and beautiful should not cease due to pregnancy, and some expecting moms feel their sexiest during this time. Tamera Mowry-Housely once told people magazine:
"I always feel sexier when I'm pregnant, maybe it's a mixture of hormones, but I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to give birth."
Phenomenal women we are.
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As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
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IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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