Style Confession: I Hate Wearing Heels
It was a Saturday night, and I had a date with my girls for some long overdue girl time. I took a quick glimpse in the mirror on the way out the door and smiled, I was definitely feeling myself. I was on top of the world as I headed out with my hair done, nails done, everything did. I confidently strutted to my car just knowing that I had on the right pair heels for the night. I analyzed the angles, and calculated the perfect amount of height and width in order to purchase the most comfortable pair of heels possible. So far so good.
I arrived at the venue, and my squad was already there waiting. Everyone was looking flawless. I walked over to where my girls were gathered, and was beginning to catch up on some girl talk when it started, a slight twinge of pain in the balls of my feet. I tried to refocus my attention to anything other than the hellfire beginning to radiate throughout my lower ligaments, but all that ran through my mind was the pain.
Then, my favorite song began to play and as if reading each other's minds my girls and I headed out to the dance floor. I began to feel a little relief. “Hmmm, maybe I was just standing in one place for too long," I said to myself. Unfortunately the relief was only temporary and the pain began to invade my entire being once again. My girls were still dancing, but I was slowly beginning to transition into an awkward, backward two step, off the dance floor, frantically searching with my eyes for something to rescue me from my struggle. At that point, the feeling started to progress from a slight tingle to feeling synonymous with Zeus himself throwing bolts of electricity at my lower extremities purposefully trying to ruin my night.
I frantically searched for a seat to relieve the intense pain in my feet as I contemplated spending the rest of the night barefoot. I quickly axed that notion, however, because the thought of all the interesting possibilities scampering around on the dirty floor quickly reminded me I am not about that germ life. I eventually found myself sitting out the rest of the night, as I watched my friends enjoy themselves from my seated, yet pain free position. That night was the night I admitted to myself that heels simply weren't worth it for me. No matter how hard I've tried over the years, I've yet to find a pair of heels I can comfortably wear longer than an hour 10 minutes.
I'm aware many people believe that a woman in heels screams femininity and sexiness, however, in my case it only screams awkward. I personally know women who insist that a woman who can't wear heels aren't much of a woman at all, but I choose to think I'm sexy with or without them. To be honest, I really don't get the big deal about heels. Besides the fact that the higher they are the more painful they feel, as a woman of above average height, I truly don't see a practical use for them in my daily life. Maybe it was the changes my body experienced after motherhood, maybe it was the reality that I don't like to intentionally put myself in excruciating pain, maybe I'm just not “built" for it, I don't know I don't care. Simply put, in the words of Keri Hilson: "I hate heels, love how they look but hate how they feel."
[Tweet "I hate heels. I love how they look, but hate how they feel - Keri Hilson"]
I choose to think that I'm sexy with or without heels.
Now that I've accepted my situation, I've found a variety of flats that complement my outfits, whether I'm going out with my girls or I'm at the office. I have absolutely no shame in the fact that I'm just not built for that “heel life," however, I give props to all of you women who continue to bear the pain in the names of fashion and style. I personally refuse to embrace the motto “pain is beauty." I refuse to put myself at risk for plantar fasciitis and a host of other foot related ailments just to “look good" for others. I have thrown in the towel and accepted “da feet"... literally. To those of you who continue to persevere in your high heels and stilettos, continue to werk ladies...for those like me who just can't or won't.
Are you about that heel life? Share how you keep your brain off the pain below.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
Photo courtesy
My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
Photo courtesy
Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
Photo courtesy
The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
Photo Courtesy
The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
Photo courtesy
The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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