This Is What Your Astrology Says About Your Relationship Wants And Needs
If you're an Astrology buff like me, by now you may know the basics of sign compatibility. If you're a Scorpio, you should date a Cancer and avoid an Aquarius or if you're an Aries, you should get with a Leo and not even think about a Capricorn (or so they say). However, what if as a Scorpio you discover that you have an Aquarius Moon and find out you actually dig that rebellious Aquarius and Cancers may be a little bit too sensitive for you? Or how about being the Aries that's actually turned off by Leo, because your Venus is in Pisces and you're attracted to someone who makes you the center of attention?
Well, that's how Moon and Venus signs can work.
In astrology, just like we have a Sun sign (the zodiac sign indicated by the month and day of your birth), we also have a number of other signs (like a Moon Sign, Rising sign, etc.) that work simultaneously within our birth charts influencing what we like and what we don't like. When it comes to our love lives, our Moon and Venus signs are just two pieces of our birth charts that indicate what we need and desire in a happy, healthy relationship. By honoring or making room for these pieces of ourselves, we make less room for any one size fits all approaches to love. For me, finding out that my Moon and Venus were in two different signs allowed me to see that while what I need and what I want are seemingly dissimilar, it doesn't mean either choice is bad.
If you don't know your Moon and Venus signs, you can visit astro-charts.com, and enter your birth details.
Your Moon sign represents your emotional style, showing what you need to feel nurtured, loved, and supported while your Venus sign represents what you love, highlighting what you deem pleasurable, attractive, and valuable about someone else.
Read below to see what your Moon and Venus say about your relationship needs:
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Moon in Aries, you need:Authentic (translation: explosive) expressions of emotion between you and your lover. P.s. Your neighbors probably can't stand it.
Venus in Aries, you want: The person that can match your thirst for passion and balls to the wall adventure will keep your engine running.
Taurus (April 20 - May 21)
Moon in Taurus, you need:Someone you can build a home with is what moves you deep down at your core. That and cookies. Cookies are good.
Venus in Taurus, you want:That special person with whom you can wine, dine, and make it last forever like Keith Sweat.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
Moon in Gemini, you need: A partner (or several) who gets your innate need to experience, taste, and do just about anything (or anyone) that crosses your path.
Venus in Gemini, you want:The lover (or several) who won't bore you to tears.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
Moon in Cancer, you need:Someone you can share all the feels with—anywhere, anytime.
Venus in Cancer, you want:Someone who will share all the feels with you—anywhere, anytime. Warm couch and warm tea are a bonus.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Moon in Leo, you need:Someone who will put some respeck on your name and keep it there.
Venus in Leo, you want:An over-the-top romantic, a concierge, a dance partner, and a die-hard fan all wrapped up into one well-dressed package.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Moon in Virgo, you need: Someone who's willing to put some work into this relationship too (dammit).
Venus in Virgo, you want:An expert, caring, and capable Dom/Domme looking for the perfect submissive for long-term love.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Moon in Libra, you need:Your other half.
Venus in Libra, you want:The charming, witty, level-headed person who won't embarrass you in public. Ever.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Moon in Scorpio, you need: Let's just say that if you wrote a book about your ideal relationship, no one would be surprised at the title “F*ck, Marry, Kill".
Venus in Scorpio, you want:When it all comes down to it, only a lover you can possess will do. Collar optional.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Moon in Sagittarius, you need: A bae who feeds your sense of joie de vivre, s'il vous plait.
Venus in Sagittarius, you want:A lover who can continuously take you somewhere/teach you something new. Frequent flyer miles a must.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Moon in Capricorn, you need: A committed, lifelong partner that's willing to give 110% percent to the partnership as per your agreement.
Venus in Capricorn, you want: A committed, lifelong partner that's willing to give 110% percent to the partnership as per your agreement. See also: quality, class, and style.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Moon in Aquarius, you need:Someone that respects your need to do as you f*cking well please.
Venus in Aquarius, you want:An on-off romance with the weirdo of your dreams with whom you can rage against the machine.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Moon in Pisces, you need: Someone you can be vulnerable with, without fear or guilt. Okay, maybe just a little guilt.
Venus in Pisces, you want: A soulmate.
What does your Moon and Venus say about your relationship wants and needs? Let us know below!
Mecca Woods is a New York City-based Astrologer and Transformation Coach working to help others to claim and create a life they truly want. You can find her at www.mylifecreated.com
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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