Pole Dancing Mom Ashley Wright On The Importance Of Breastfeeding
Whether you are an expectant mother or a woman who plans to have children in the future, at some point one of the most important decisions you will make is whether or not you will breastfeed your child.
Breastfeeding is fundamental and can contribute to the quality of life and connection between a mother and her child. It's one of the reasons why Ashley Wright's journey through life and motherhood hits home for women who happen upon her site and become avid readers -- because it is a journey that is easily relatable from one woman to the next.
Ashley Wright is the mother and force behind Ms. Wright’s Way, a website featuring a timeline of her life and moments of others; a space filled with experiences, lessons, teachings, and laughter. She calls it a resource for all.
After a video of her engaging in pole dancing with her toddler daughter nearly went viral, Ms. Wright has continued to vocalize her thoughts on the importance of breastfeeding and self-actualization. During mass reports of indecency and violating protocol on social media, Wright has remained an advocate for natural feeding and has advanced forward in shedding light on the subject.
“Breastfeeding is deeper than just nutrition,” she says. “We continue to post, to build. Facebook taking me down for posts that obviously didn’t violate community guidelines doesn’t stop us from progression and ascension. It doesn’t stop us from sharing truth.”
And Wright is persistent in getting that message out, even if it means having to breastfeed a sleepy toddler during a speech at a convention.
"And when it comes to breastfeeding on stage, well, many people talk the talk, yet do not walk the walk. Yes, we are told often, "breast is best." They can read journal after journal, one pamphlet after another with an abundance of written text, however, people are not seeing it. They are not seeing how to incorporate this new stage of life into their current routine, without losing themselves. I’d like to think of Ms. Wrights Way as a resource of "'Yes, we can! Watch me!'"
Through national speaking engagements and public appearances, Ashley Wright has gained a massive following of over 135,000 followers on her Instagram account, mostly fellow mommies who aren’t afraid to pop their bosom’s out publicly. Through that alone, the need to stop the message–the truth–hasn’t ceased. In her interview with xoNecole, Wright delves into her personal need to share such an intimate moment with her daughter on social media, breastfeeding during a convention as the speaker, and of course, pole dancing and why she won’t slow down anytime soon.
Why did you decide to breastfeed your daughter, and more so, publicize your journey as a breastfeeding mommy?
I always knew that I wanted to breastfeed as a mother. I was made aware that this was something you do. Prior to having my own child, I had yet to see the act take place, yet I remember conversations about mothers trying to breastfeed or having breastfed for a certain amount of time. Being a fairly healthy consumer of foods, aware of nutrition, I knew this was what was necessary for my child.
When I decided to share my journey, breastfeeding was something that was a part of it; an everyday act. I didn’t see it as anything to hide and initially, I wasn’t aware that public breastfeeding was considered indecent. To a pole dancer, with videos dropping it like it’s hot to the floor in a split and everyone cheering, the notion that breastfeeding is indecent, was essentially a joke to me.
The backlash on social media resulted in your Facebook account being blocked and shut down. Every time, you went back and shared additional footage of you feeding your daughter. Why were you adamant on getting this message of breastfeeding out?
I was adamant because I saw us as women suffering. I saw our babies suffering. I saw our whole family suffering. This was something that I can identify and relate to because I once was a person who suffered; sat in the suffering and didn’t even know I was suffering.
[Tweet "I once was a person who suffered; sat in the suffering and didn't know I was suffering"]
We as women–and I state "we" as I speak with the village and a multitude of other women who support Ms. Wrights Way–are aware that when you are not breastfeeding, nor supplying breast milk to a child, it is not ONLY the child that is being slighted. The mother, too, is missing what is so essential to her health as well.
It is no secret that postpartum depression is high here in the States. Even worse, the Black infant mortality rate is just downright SCARY. Part of balancing out the chemical makeup, the hormones in the woman’s body after birth is through breastfeeding. When a woman is breastfeeding, she is releasing oxytocin–the feel-good hormone. Breastfeeding just doesn’t keep her physically healthy, as it contracts the uterus back in place along with reducing risks of major illnesses, it supports her mental and emotional health as well. It is a sacred act that is vital in establishing a healthy foundation for child and continued health for mother; for thriving and for survival.
Ms. Wright's Way isn’t solely about breastfeeding, which is why so many women, along with myself, fought to keep it up and running. My overall message is holistic living, self-care, and love. I have stated many times before if you unapologetically love yourself, you no longer compromise the quality of care for your loved ones and those around you.
[Tweet "If you unapologetically love yourself, you no longer compromise the quality of care for your loved ones and those around you."]
Have you ever received negative comments publicly in the street about feeding your daughter? How do you handle the attention?
Not to date. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t hesitate to say, “You gon learn today.”
Let's talk about the importance of Black Breastfeeding Week that passed (August 25-August 31). There's been comments that the need for the word "black" to be there is unnecessary. What are your thoughts on that?
The comments that Black Breastfeeding Week, emphasis on the Black, is unnecessary doesn’t strike a chord with me, nor does it surprise me, which is why I do not make statements debating, nor addressing them. I am completely aware of white privilege and racism as a system, so I am not at all urged to seek approval from many of my white brother and sisters who do not agree or become uncomfortable with BBW.
During this week, they (meaning my white brothers and sisters) can either support or state what they must. The focus is reaching those who closely resemble me. As long as my melanin brothers and sisters feel supported and encouraged to breastfeed, increasing the rates from what we have now, then I am happy. That is the focus and concern for that week; Not, who doesn’t get it.
You also received some national coverage of you pole dancing in your home with your daughter watching close by, and even picked her up at one point and continued on. What do you want your daughter to know about that moment given the negative stereotypes surrounding pole dancing?
I want her to know mommy loves playing with her and dancing with her, and will always make a conscious effort to be present with her, with us. I would like her to see that we are not defined by other’s opinions, nor should we feel shame from others, including shaming ourselves. I want her to see ME. All of me and know that I feel no reason to hide myself from her.
It’s just dancing. And it was you wanting to dance with your mother, with the pole or without it. That’s the beauty in being a woman; the great multi-taskers that we are.
What I love is that you continue to defy these norms with public breastfeeding and pole dancing. What do these things do for you, personally? Is there a sense of fulfillment that comes from partaking in these things behind closed doors or publicly?
Public breastfeeding is attending to my child and I, while we are out and about. Pole dancing is a passion of mine, a way to express myself through movement with grace and strength. When I am dancing, I feel understood and allow that movement to resonate with whomever, however.
Whether done at home or publicly (social media included), it is a projection of my freedom. And it most certainly is me feeling myself due to all the feel-good hormones that are being produced during these acts.
I willingly share my life, in complete transparency and vulnerability to be light for all those who seek it, who need it. All are welcome to be lost in this love.
What will you tell your daughter about sharing those intimate moments with her publicly?
Intimacy doesn’t necessarily mean private and it is certainly subjective, depending on how one perceives/defines it, such as hugging, kissing etc. Breastfeeding my child is not a private act, nor is it an indecent one, yet I understand others may perceive it that way.
[Tweet "Breastfeeding my child is not a private act, nor is it an indecent one."]
In sharing our moments, I pray she will see and understand us being chosen to help guide and heal, sharing the power we possess to be of encouragement and strength to the people, to our village. An aid in a much-needed shift during our current times of self-hatred, high racial tension, misogyny, and artificial living. I pray she understands under my guidance, the importance of support, growth, and true connection through vulnerability and transparency, yet still respecting her boundaries. For one cannot love without being transparent and true with self.
Ultimately, I pray she continues to know mommy loves her and is doing the best she can with what she knows, at any given time. The sharing of our moments is a projection of that–to share love, life, and freedom for all.
As a parent and an avid user of social media, we're advancing as a society that's increasingly dependent on technology. But because our children will be raised in a world entirely different from ours, the need to be more protective than ever is real. By you documenting these moments of you connecting with your daughter, what do you think you're showing her about our bodies on the Internet?
I am showing her our bodies are amazing and we can do whatever the hell we want with it. It is yours to own, no one else. Honor it!
Your speech at the WIC Conference was focused on help and support systems, and you spoke about your own experience of "finding comfort in a WIC office." There's this longstanding stereotype of WIC recipients being unemployed women that are depending on the government. What was your experience like and what are some things they spoke to you about in regards to being a first-time breastfeeder?
My experiences with WIC as a participant, as well as, a partner in organizing awareness events, have been very pleasant. They have been extremely instrumental in building my knowledge and awareness on what breastfeeding is and looks like amongst our communities nationwide.
When I was a participant of WIC, they were adamant about breastfeeding and really excited that I wanted to breastfeed. The Breastfeeding Peer Counselor assigned to me, had nursed her children up to age two, so she was very supportive. It was her duty to inform me of what to look for in diapers, invite me out to peer groups to discuss, teach me nursing cues of when my baby wants me, and to always nurse on demand. She also informed me of proper nutrition and healthy foods.
What many are unaware of is, that WIC also provides food vouchers for many people who do work and have jobs. Yes, there are income requirements, yet, with the current state of unemployment and the high cost of living, I do not waiver on the message of reaching out for support. The last thing a person should have to worry about is food, and allowing shame and embarrassment to prevent them from seeking out available resources.
Connect with Ashley Wright on social media at @mswrightsway and tune into her insightful blog, Ms. Wright's Way, here.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
Photo courtesy
My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
Photo courtesy
Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
Photo courtesy
The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
Photo Courtesy
The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
Photo courtesy
The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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