A Mother's Confession: I Love My Child But....

I Am A 27-Year-Old Struggling Mom And I Regret Having My Child

Comments (155)
  1. Ashley Jones says:

    As a single woman with no kids, this is the very reason why I don’t have any nor will I have any If I’m not married. I’ve watched my mom and other single mothers in my family and knew that I didn’t want to take the same route as them! I’ve learned that a wise woman learns from the mistakes of others without committing them herself!

    (28)
    1. Bella Vita says:

      Ashley I totally understand what you’re saying. I’m a single mom but watching others has also prevented me from jumping into bad marriages that also affect my kids and their lives. But believe it or not – being married doesn’t always save you from the same disappointment. Marriages can crumble, husbands sometimes leave and then still have nothing to do with their children (like my dad and many others I know) or even death can still leave you a single mother.

      (16)
    2. Marriage doesn’t fix everything. Myself became a single mom after my ex hussband decided to leave. So as much as I agree with this there’s definitely other alternatives to becoming a single parent other than unwed mothers

      (15)
    3. Agreed. My family keeps asking when I’m gonna have a baby (but surprisingly no ones asks when I’m getting married 🤔). Once you have children your life can’t be all about you anymore which is why I’m choosing to wait. I also agree with the ladies who say that marriage doesn’t guarantee anything either but it’s the best option you have if you want to raise your child in a 2 parent home.

      (14)
    4. I relate to all of this ladies. I’m pretty sure my family members are counting my eggs 😒 but I’m in no rush to hire out this womb of mine boo. Marriage nor babies keep a man, that’s a fact but I desire fruitful and successful marriage to atleast try and build that foundation, before motherhood

      (8)
    5. Ashley Jones says:

      I agree 100%. Nothing in life is guaranteed but at least being married, to the right man, does lessen the potential of becoming a single parent and the struggles associated with it.

      (8)
    6. Diedra Jones says:

      My only suggestion is even after you’re married STILL WAIT! Love on each other until it’s overflowing to the point where you have no choice but to share it with another life! The one thing you don’t want to do is get married and jump into having a baby

      (6)
    7. Responsible. Mature.

      (2)
    8. Great points. I completely agree. My mother was a single parent. Married but father was/is a deadbeat. I recognized that finding the RIGHT man to build a family and a life with is what’s most important. And being married is usually more beneficial for the children no matter how the relationship plays out. But not just being married to anyone. Someone you’ve grown to know is determined to be there as much as you are and as much as you need.

      (1)
    9. You have said what so many are missing….finding the RIGHT man is key

      (1)
    10. Grizzy Perry says:

      Yet, so many women would be in this same boat if it had not been for miscarriage, Abortions ect..Very few can say they have NEVER been pregnant. Also nothing is 100% but NO SEX, yes woman have become pregnant while on Birth control..lol. We can plan , plan all day some of US are not PERFECT so LIFE does NOT go as planned. Instead of finding a man which clearly has not worked for many…Just allow GOD to find him for you. But this is just my Opinion & we all have one. Bella Vita I agree.

      (1)
    11. I feel like this is why people condemn women with no kids… Because they secretly feel like this!! Don’t be mad because I chose free birth control!!

      (0)
    12. Let the church say Amen

      (-1)
  2. MissC says:

    I do not regret having my daughter and she is (cliche coming) the best thing that happened to my life…birthing her gave me the strength to finally leave a 5 year long unhealthy relationship. However, the weight of being a single mother is something that my 21 year old self had no knowledge of…now 5 years later the guilt I feel for being a single mother and not having a family for her literally keeps me up at night. I have graduated college twice, have an amazing career, and make enough money to give her a really nice life…but yet I still feel like just another statistic…single, black mother who is good enough to birth a child but not good enough to be an actual wife. That was hard to type.

    (69)
    1. Twncontradiction says:

      Sending luv & encouragement your way my sista. I’m not a mother & have struggled with the feelings of not being worthy of “more”. I have made similar decisions that could’ve resulted in an unplanned pregnancy, but through back up birth control and the grace of God I’m not a mother yet & thankful. I’m not financially where I need to be nor do I have a husband. I want something better for my future child than I had.

      (2)
  3. Toya Sharee says:

    I love this article because I honestly suspect that most parents and caregivers feel this way at least once a week.I’ve kept my eyes closed for few seconds longer in the early morning hours and let my daughter cry for a little longer just so I can get five more minutes of sleep thinking of a life when I woke up when I wanted to, when I could spend money on clothes instead of diapers, plan vacations without arranging childcare. And I think it’s healthy to identify feelings of resentment and even regret. Do I regret having my daughter? No. Do I miss being child free? Hells yes. At least once a week. And even with a good support system and being pretty happy with where I’m at in life as far as career,love and etc. I regularly mourn my carefree twenties. So I can only imagine how parents w/o much support and many difficulties may feel. I think people feel like when it comes to kids there is a script you have to say about being in love with parenting 100% of the time and it changing your entire life, but the truth is that’s not the WHOLE truth and people should be able to embrace conflicting feelings,good and bad, without being judged or feeling guilty.

    (38)
  4. Dana says:

    Im SO grateful for this author. I’ve definitely felt this way. Single motherhood places you in such an isolating position. Can’t enjoy single life like your childless friends. Can’t enjoy the ‘family’ life like your married friends. You’re kinda just stuck. Lonely and broke. I love my son with all my heart but I wish I would’ve waited…or that his father was a better person… I was in a long term relationship with his father when I got pregnant and he just left. Being a single mom SUCKS. I never thought it would be me, but alas. Although I was able to reach my dreams by obtaining my masters, being a single mom requires SO many career sacrifices. It’s just hard.

    (2)
    1. Amy Nze says:

      Congrats on your Masters. And i love how u broke it down. Just not knowing where u fit in the larger scheme of things. Sometimes i would say all these amazing things are happening in the lives of others and am i not getting my own blessings because im a single mom? But God is still with us. Stand strong sister ❤️

      (3)
    2. OMG. You stated that perfectly. I truly thought that I was the only one that ever felt this way. I too thought that I had did everything right. Educated. Had a a great job car even had five figures saved in several accounts and still I found myself pregnant and a single mother at 31. While I knew that my circumstances could have been worse. I still found my self depressed at the fact that I had become another statistic. Another black woman raising a black child alone in Chicago. Having my daughter did force me to rethink my thought processes. To want more for myself and her. It pushed me to go for better paying jobs. To finish my graduate degree to reevaluate the relationships and friendships that were toxic. What’s funny or rather what has me perplexed is that I don’t get invited places by neither my single nor married friends. I was just having this conversation with my mom literally a few days ago as to why I don’t get invited but have to find out about events from FB. And that’s what hurts.

      (2)
    3. Here I thought I was crazy for feeling this way. It’s good to know that I’m not alone and it ok to feel that way. Being a single mom is a test of your patience and sanity and most days it feels like a losing battle. Thank God for every day I am able to push through without a breakdown.

      (2)
    4. Same here I’ve felt this way too. But God is so faithful. I had my son my senior year of college. I wasn’t ready. I felt like I missed out on so many opportunities. But then when I think of how I could have been if responsibility wouldn’t have hit me I’m greatful. It motivates me to get my masters as well. Now I’m married with another son and I can just look back and be thankful I trusted God enough to keep going.

      (2)
    5. Asia Tiana says:

      Wow congrats on ur masters ! Good job !

      (1)
    6. You hit it head on! ” can’t enjoy single life, can’t enjoy family life”. Then when you throw education in the mix and youre in classes with 18 somethings makes you just want to never be seen. Many don’t understand how isolating this life really is. But with God, you hold on.
      Peace to you sister!

      (2)
      1. Ms. L says:

        Hello world. Jesus loves you he’s coming soon. I hope you receive his salvation before he does. God bless!

        (1)
    7. I voiced once to my brother what I was feeling and he looked at me with this look and that was the first and last time that I ever voiced my feelings.

      (1)
    8. Jas Min says:

      Sacrifices leave a lifelong impression on people! Can’t wait to read abt your son in the news talking about how his mother helped him to become the great man that he is now! What u did then, and still doing now, is planting a seed of sacrifice and compassion. Your son will be able to pass it on bc it’s instilled in him. I know it’s hard and far from easy, but u r helping to make this world a better place! 💜🙏🏽☀️

      (1)
    9. Dana Cotton says:

      Idk If I’m pms’ing but I’m about ready to cry😩😂. It’s SO good knowing you’re not alone. Also, thank God for women. Y’all don’t even know me, but have blessed me with such positive energy. Thank you and blessings! ❤️❤️❤️

      (1)
    10. This is a great article.im a single mom of a 14 year old daughter.reading this comments takes me back of how i felt about my life years ago.when i began to realize who i was and where i wanted to go in life inspite of my circumstances that’s when i began to accept my life for what it is and get out of my comfort zone and connect with people that would help me.i have friends that are married and single and they’ve never made me feel less than.you see nobody life is perfect.you can be broke and lonely with a husband. When you stop being ashamed of your life ,you can go after what you want in this world.’ Im 35yrs old when it comes to dating i let a man no what i want and will not tolerate day ONE

      (1)
    11. I feel the same. I was with my daughters dad for 10 years and now he’s nowhere to be seen.
      I love my daughter but it’s difficult. She has autism and I have virtually no support. People who do have support don’t ever quite understand me and friends who don’t have children are even less understanding.
      I love my daughter I really do, but I wish I had her at a later time in my life when I was a lot of financially stable and with someone who gave a shit

      (1)
    12. Congrats baby girl!! I really like how you worded everything…🙌💕

      (0)
    13. Just know,you’re definitely not alone.

      (0)
    14. xoNecole.com says:

      Love what you said and congrats on getting your Masters!!

      (0)
    15. Congratulations!! I’m still navigating the waters of accomplishing the things I set out to beforehand. You said it all! I thought I was the only one with these feelings…so much so that I refused to say them out loud fearing others would think I was some selfish, hateful, ungrateful prick.

      (0)
    16. l have friends that think like you. Well l leave in NYC l would babysitt for free if that can help you.

      (0)
    17. God bless you and congrats on meeting your goals!!!!

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    18. I definitely agree and can relate wholeheartedly!

      (0)
    19. Erika Meijer says:

      so well said. congrats on your masters and keep dreaming!! im sure your son is so grateful for your strength and the example you set for him 😊

      (0)
  5. Vpprinces01 says:

    This was refreshing to read. A lot of parents bash others for saying they would rather wait to have children. The whole “well you’re never truly ready for kids” line gets tossed out. Sometimes I think it’s their way of coping with their decision. You can love your children and still wish you brought them into this world under different circumstances. Coming from a very loving, yet poor family I struggled a lot as a young adult to gain my financial footing and be self sufficient. If I had a child along the way I would most likely STILL be uneducated, grossly underemployed, and teetering on the verge on homelessness. & that’s just half the equation. My granny said 1 of the greatest gifts a child can receive is to witness their parents truly love one another. It shapes a child’s self love & how they treat others

    (15)
  6. Amy Nze says:

    This was a great read. The side that nobody tells. Especially young and unmarried like I was. I had my regrets too at some points. Felt like life could have been better if i never kept my child or if i never met her dad or whatever. But as i watch this little amazing person grow i dont have those thoughts anymore. Havent had for a long time. At this point i realized she is the perfect fit in my life and she and I can conquer anything. I can conquer anything and my dreams are still attainable God bless all single mothers.

    (10)
    1. Same here!! If I was single n free I would be out n about as possible. But now I can’t go. I look at It like she’s protecting me from something. Maybe I would’ve been somewhere I wasn’t suppose or even met another sheep n wolves clothing. I love my lil lady n I give her all the tools baby stay away from this person, don’t get caught up in this scenario n never ever be afraid to speak your mind, n if it don’t feel right don’t do it n stay away from it. She’s gonna be better than me….

      (2)
  7. I agree as well…My daughter is seventeen now and I still have regrets….I am still trying to make peace with myself about having her…As a child I never wanted to have kids or a family..for that matter…I felt I wanted to explore the world and live my life on my terms…I joined the military and loved it…I allowed myself to get married and 3 years we separated and I found myself pregnant…We discussed it and I kept her but I ended up having to get out the Navy as both of us couldn’t deploy and didn’t really have anyone else to care for our daughter…Over the years I have delayed my dreams to be a Mom..I looked at my friends I was stationed with retiring now and honestly it hurts…I love my daughter but my feelings of not having kids has never waivered…I truly believe it’s not meant for everyone

    (7)
    1. When I tell you that you are not alone.. hunny!!!!! Yes!!! My son is 14 and it is still an internal struggle. I love him…but it’s hard when it wasn’t your “plan”. I get it …I really do.

      (4)
  8. Ebbey says:

    I was really feeling this way on Sunday and decided to pray about it because my daughter didn’t ask to be here. I feel mostly guilt because I missed all the red flags about her father and still decided to fulfill my sexual desires, which resulted in a pregnancy. I also feel guilty about not being able to give her a family with both parents present. I try my absolute best to show her love and she is a doll, but there is no manual on being a single parent and it is very hard.

    (10)
  9. DontBelieveTheHype says:

    This hit home with me. I feel like I keep finding myself in situations I could’ve avoided if I were in my right mind. My boyfriend of almost five years and I have a 9 month old – I recently found out I am pregnant with baby #2. Like most I had dreams and many aspirations and I feel like I put them on hold to have my little blessing. I will say I have accomplished a lot in my 24 years such as graduating college and obtaining my first job in my field right out of college. But I did have a few more things planned before wanting to start a family – I really wanted to be in a satisfying place in my life because I believe my children deserve a happy mother who is in tune with herself (mind, body and soul). I also did come to realize after 5 years and a child my boyfriend and I haven’t exactly been on the same page and want the same things in life (once a upon a time he made it seem like he wanted the same things – we had a game plan – but I guess he changed his vision). So that was a low blow and it has been tough to deal with as we do live together . I don’t necessarily regret having a child – my son has helped in changing my life for the better. I do low-key regret the timing though. As any mother does, you want your children to have the best. I want my child to have two parents who are happy. And I believe every child deserves to see their parents in love.

    (8)
  10. Shoy Barrett says:

    I don’t regret my child but I do regret who I had a child for. I stay up at night and wondering am I doing this right? Am I giving her everything that I can? Is she happy with me? It’s a never ending battle in my mind.

    (6)
    1. Shoy Barrett says:

      I’m glad I’m not alone.

      (0)
    2. Facts guess I’m not alone after all i feel much better knowning I’m not the only one who feel this way at times

      (0)
  11. I get some people are saying it was the “partner or the “person you laid down with”…that has implications yes, but not the heart always of the regret..the regret is the level of self sacrifice that is done and feeling that your purpose is delayed or forgotten

    (6)
  12. This is sad.
    Sometimes we have to put ourselves in other people’s shoes. Good read.
    I’m not a single parent, I’m married with two kids and I have some struggles with my special needs child. I couldn’t imagine doing this alone.
    My mom was a single parent so I know first hand the struggle is real.

    (3)
    1. Yeah. My daughter is special needs and I’m a single mom now. I don’t have much of a support system either. It’s hard

      (1)
    2. I’m so sorry 😞
      Others really don’t understand what a struggle we have with our special kids. It’s so damn hard. I know it must be tough for you.

      (1)
  13. Lady D says:

    I understand how she feels although I do not have a child, I have experienced a complete derailment in life from my very specific hopes and dreams. The beauty that has come out of all the pain and suffering is that I now understand that peace isn’t something you find, it’s something you choose. The same thing goes with happiness. If you can learn to be happy with very little…you will surely be happy with whatever comes of abundance. And also gratitude, which is something I couldn’t find during the many years of blaming people and feeling like a victim, has been a key element to my happiness and new found blessings. It’s not easy but if you can let go of what was and what could’ve been and learn to appreciate the present moment, you can find the joy and beauty in the simplest things. ❤️

    (5)
  14. Sad. I was very young when I had my son and I was a single mother but I never regretted having him. He changed my life and made me a better person. He was my motivation to hustle and create a great life. Your goals make take a bit longer but they are still possible.

    (4)
    1. Agreed! I had my first Young and my second at 27, single mothers to both. I’ve never regretted my children, they’ve always been a motivation for me to succeed even more because they are watching. We need to understand our lives are not over with children, it just makes thinks harder but not impossible

      (2)
  15. Kristen says:

    I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND! I am married and my husband is so amazing. I really mean that. However, I genuinely hate being a parent. I am restricted at every corner due to the type of parent that I want to be. I want to be a PRESENT/AVAILBLE parent. We don’t want other people raising our child. This was OUR choice. He is OUR responsibility. I could have taken the promotion that I REALLY wanted but that means someone else would have to pick our child up from school, help with homework, clean him, feed him and get him ready for bed. That is not their responsibility. It is ours and we want to make sure we that we don’t burden others with our choices. My husband knows how I feel and he doesn’t judge me (Thank God) so at least someone is in my corner!

    (5)
  16. Azalea says:

    Thank you soon much for this article. I have been battling these thoughts for four years now. I’ve thought about it more often especially during these toddler years. I was always the go getter straight A direct and determined woman and this just didn’t make sense that I ended up a single mom. I had plans to try moving from city to city, traveling, and exploring the world but how did I make this mistake? How didnInlet my guard down? My son is by no means a mistake but my timing was and I knew better. However, grace and forgiveness are a powerful thing. I’ve come a long way and believe my son was sent here to slow my lifestyle down and appreciate the simple things in life. I am working on balancing single motherhood with a career and me time but although challenging its doable. I keep reminding myself. I am so grateful I ran across this because I wasn’t sure if my feelings were normal and afraid to address these feelings. Thanks Again!

    (5)
  17. Gabriela says:

    You don’t have to be a teen or have gotten pregnant by mistake to end up a single parent. I was 30 armed with an MBA and ready to take on the world. I have always wanted to be a mom but only after marriage. We dates for three years and were married for five years when my miracle blessing came into the world and by the time she was two he walked out of our lives without any support. God blesses me and my beautiful child abundantly. It’s hard to be the sole provider and nurturer. This article touched my heart. The world condemns single mothers so harshly. Great depiction in this article. This is real my beautiful baby girl is a blessing but it is a labor of love daily. Stop judging and start supporting.

    (5)
  18. Shevon Jones says:

    This article is 100% relatable. I love my daughter, and I’ve been a single parent for 8 yrs and it hasn’t always been easy. Like many, I struggled in the beginning and I hate to admit I resented my daughter at times. Decisions I made caused me so much heartache and struggle. It was wasn’t until I decided to take charge of my life and turn my struggle into my success. No one ever wants to tell this side of (single) motherhood, but it’s so real and moms need to know its okay. We love our kids but we also had plans for our lives before kids and it’s okay to think about those plans. I teach moms everyday that everything you wanted to do before kids you can still do, I promise.

    (4)
  19. Jas says:

    I think it took a lot of courage for this sister to share her truth. It may not be for everybody, but I’m sure she’s speaking too another woman who knows her pain. Blessings to her.

    (3)
  20. DeeDee says:

    I’m not a single mother but my older sister is. Even though she loves her son to death, she has expressed that she wished that she had him later in life. The plus is that having him forced her to grow up and she’s changed for the better. We (the family) still support her but she still tears up every now and then. Seeing her go through makes me want to wait even longer before I have a kid.

    (3)
  21. Britt says:

    I can appreciate the true feelings of this story. This can happen to anyone wed or unwed. People think that just b/c you get married thats automatic security when its not the case a man can leave you and never comeback with or without that ring. If anything I hope the 27 yr old is able to find happiness and strength in her situation become even more determined to be successful in her eyes. #liftingyouup

    (3)
  22. Shira Bland says:

    Thank you. I needed someone one else to say it. I felt like this for years. Now I’m empowering myself to chase my dreams. I appreciate you for writing this n

    (2)
  23. Stacy Oden says:

    If people read articles before commenting, the world would be a better place. The author isn’t saying her baby isn’t a blessing or she is going to throw it in the garbage. Please. Lordt. Just read.

    (2)
  24. Please don’t invoke your feelings, life or experience on others. This is a personal experience and no one else gets a say in it.

    (2)
  25. The hard truth that nobody is willing to tell you. This is reality and sometimes ppl just don’t want to accept it … I work in a salon and have met many woman that will bluntly tell that being a single mother is not for everyone.

    (2)
  26. Wiser Made says:

    Great read. She said what alot of single moms think all the time but wouldn’t say out loud for fear of someone taking it the wrong way. Good job for letting it out.

    (2)
  27. I appreciate this article and think it helps in normalizing feelings that I am sure many women face. I think that while society wants every woman to love motherhood and believe it’s their greatest accomplishment, not all women do and that is ok. As one who is child free I think that is one of my biggest fears which is why I am ok with delaying motherhood until I am married and ready to make such a life altering decision. A great read!!

    (2)
  28. Yet the condemn those of us who choose not to have children. At the end of the day yes the child can be a blessing but to get pregnant with the child is a choice. I have known since I was a preteen that I did not want to grow up and have children. I have been ridiculed, told I will change my mind, even told I will never get married because no one will marry me because I won’t have their children. Let me state for the record I can totally bare them but I don’t want too. I always wanted a career and the ability to come and go as I please and not feel guilty about it.

    (2)
  29. I sympathize with you but you have to forgive yourself. The child is here and in order for you to be all you can be to your child plus more you need to forgive yourself. I understand 100%. Not only did I have a child young I had two children at a young age and let me tell you…..they are the highlight of my day each day. Although I do not regret having them. A few times I use to wonder what if. But it is a thing of the past and there is no better time than right now to forgive and live this beautiful life that God has for you. Peace and blessings sister.

    (2)
  30. daquirijones says:

    I’m literally watching my parents kiss and hug my son and show him the love he deserves. When I was 8 months pregnant my stupid sons father told me and my parents that he had another baby due two months after my son. Ill never forget the resentment I had for my unborn child due to his fathers irresponsibility. And to top it all off his father would then leave me a month after our son was born to go overseas for the military. I doubt these feelings I’ve been having for almost a year is post pardon. Every single day I think about if he was a man and would have told me sooner show I would have removed myself and my son from this ghetto situation. And I think about the young lady who know about my pregnancy and still layed down with him. Now complaining about how she wants him to be a fulltime daddy to her daughter and how she hates him. I have still yet to see or even speak to her. The children have met one another through his family but it still boggles my mind daily how I should have kept my legs closed to someone I had known since I was child and promised to take care of us. I love my prince but I am constantly wishing that I had chosen another father and family for him and how I appreciate my parents filling in that void his father has left. No doubt I will make sure he has a wonderful life. He is a very happy child. But I beat myself up every single EFFIN day for not making better choices..

    (2)
  31. She’s still very broken. Once she heals she will realize that she is her own barrier to her dreams and that anything is possible. If I could speak to her, I would ask her to practice forgiveness, different healing methods to open her heart back up.

    (2)
  32. Jem says:

    Bravo to the writer of this piece! It takes courage to express what’s in ones heart.

    Many people kept pressuring me to have a baby in my 20s, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to resent my child & vice versa.

    My parents have been married for 40 years. They’ve shown me that parenting can be rewarding when planned. I’ve followed that path with my husband of 13 years & newborn son. It’s been mainly a joyful experience because I waited til my early 30s.
    I salute any parent doing it in their own.

    (2)
  33. Buzilebe says:

    I completely understand because I had a baby when I was 17,he’s 10years old now! I love him too bits but I’m still fighting to be who I’ve always wanted to be,it’s hard to fall inlove not knowing wether someone will accept another man’s child.Im a single Mom and i grew up too fast.I cry sometimes but most importantly I’m grateful for this gift God me.I learnt lessons along the way

    (2)
  34. Frannie says:

    This article hit extremely close to home because I personally just came to this conclusion not too long ago and my daughter is almost 8 years old. I can admit that I never wanted to have children but things don’t always work out as we plan. As a parent, I’ve come to realize almost nothing goes as you planned it. Every plan or goal I have had for myself, my relationship, my career has changed because I am a parent which for me has been the hardest thing to accept. Being an extreme life planner and a parent just don’t mix and I haven’t been able to find the compromise which leads me to feelings of regret. I love my daughter and wouldn’t ever replace her but every hardship and hurdle in this journey of motherhood I find myself wondering “what if…”

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  35. SmplyJ says:

    I am literally going thru this right now. And I’ve been severely depressed over it. Don’t get me wrong I love my girls to death and it’s them that keep me going. I regret deciding to go thru with my last pregnancy. After my oldest daughter I swore I would never have anymore kids unless it was by my husband. Met an older guy who promised me the world and was so handsome and charming and begged me to have a baby. I figured since it was the man saying it and he was older it was legit. I made him wait and took it snail slow n everything. After a year and a half of trying I got pregnant and still Sat him down and explained it was important to me that we do this together and if he was even a bit unsure I would get an abortion because I don’t wanna do this alone. He was happy and told me he wanted to keep the baby and we’re gonna do it together and I’m gonna bury him n now he can finally stop trying. 3 months in he started emotionally abusing me. Dude was a narcissist to the tenth power. Cruel and cold af. It was awful. Constantly walking on eggshells. After 5 years he just walked out and said it would be easier for him if he left and only had to think about himself. He refuses to help me financially saying my bills don’t have anything to do with his child. Doesn’t care that daycare tuition is due. Told me quit my job and get on welfare til she’s old enough to go to school. I don’t even have any family to help me. I never have any time to myself. I even have to bring my kids to work with me. He’ll only take them Sat or Sunday from 10 to 3 or 9 to 2, how convenient. I feel stupid for ever trusting him. I wish I would’ve ran. And I’m sorry this is the man my daughters have to look up to. I’m sorry my poor choice made us statistics. It’s hard. I can’t date because I always have my kids or I’m working. I never get to go on vacations with my friends because all my money goes to kids n bills.My girls are my everything but I hurt tremendously for our circumstances. I was too smart to be this dumb now my life is depression and loneliness. Wait girls!!!!!

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  36. Stick&Stones says:

    I can admit that I would be in this same situation. I was with someone whom I loved, but was no good for me. When I got pregnant, he said some of the most hurtful things. Makes me wonder how people can be so cruel. I sometimes still think about his words and know that I did the right thing by not continuing on with the pregnancy. Basically, I knew I would be raising the child on my own. I started to think about how my life would change if I had the baby. I visualized having the baby and also visualized the anger and resentment I’d hold against him or her…an innocent being. I was in no position to have a child, but I do feel that I made the right decision because, although I’d try to be a good mom, the fact that I have no support would have made me become something like mommy dearest..or at least that’s what imagine. You are very brave to share your story and I’m happy that you did. Keep your head up.

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  37. Nae says:

    I had to comment on this! I am a 22 yr old mom of an amazing 7 month old. I have had days where I felt as if I should have waited for her but I decided to follow my heart and pursue to have my baby. Being this young I often wonder if I can always provide for her or show her the things in life she needs and desire. Although me and her father are still together its hard! I felt disconnected with her for some time and it often bothered me as if she felt what I was feeling…just like most, my pregnancy came in a whim where I was just gaining confidence, looking better than ever and had EVERYTHING going for myself. Me and my daughters father was just enjoying each other and the woes that came from the first stages of dating. I was just finding my OWN and then I became pregnant. I never thought I could have children or would. I have always pictured myself having an astonishing career moving rapidly with a future husband and child along the way somewhere. I can DEFINITELY tell you it was not planned ! I have heard lots of people say that marriage should be first and just like others I assumed this is how it should be and anything outside of that would be wrong and out of order. For all mothers who have experienced this feeling we are not alone and we will get through this. I cant speak for others but I KNOW my daughter was a blessing; a blessing that I could not have passed up on and although I may have preserved feeling on the order that should have been rendered I will walk through the struggles and stand through the adversity to be the best MOTHER I can be !

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  38. Love thyself says:

    I applaud the writer for admitting HER truth. It’s how she feels and she deserves to speak about it and not be ashamed or judged. There’s always multiple sides to every story and single motherhood is diverse as the ocean is wide. I was raised by a divorced mother who was forced into being a single parent. My father decided because my mother divorced him (a no-no in our culture), that he wouldn’t be a father. And he actively showed us and treated us like he didn’t until my mother had enough. It left scars on my brother and I, that no amount of my mother’s generous, loving heart could heal. I didn’t trust men, but I dated unconsciously looking for a father figure. I was blessed that my husband came into my life when he did and filled that void until I didn’t need it anymore. Started dating at 18 (he was 26), married at 21. I knew that I did NOT want to have children young and stated that. He agreed……until he wanted children. I was 23 when he started pressuring me. I love my husband, but he was getting older and wanted a family. I just wanted my husband. We did counseling for a bit but I made the conscious decision to get on birth control pills without telling my husband. He is a loving man, and after counseling stopped asking me was a pregnant every 5 mins, but I just got tired of the desperation in his eyes. I take meds for my asthma everyday, so I mixed it with that and blamed me not conceiving on infertility. I know it was wrong, and I prayed, but I don’t regret it, especially after reading this woman’s story. I was able to become a Nurse Practitioner, and my husband was able to rebound with his business after the recession to a more profitable level than before it. At 31, I got off birth control. By 32, I became the mother of twins, a boy and girl. I’m 33 and I love them to pieces, but I couldn’t have imagined having my kids 10 years ago, even with my husband being present. We had a bunch of great experiences, that wouldn’t have been possible if we had kids. So to anyone reading, please think about what’s best FOR YOU. I don’t recommend deception, but as a mother, you will have to be the one to raise that child no matter what. And to those that are single mothers, understand that your dreams are not over, just deferred.

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  39. Everyone should be allowed their truth …..

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    1. I completely agree

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  40. Jas says:

    bless you mama! ♡♡♡

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  41. I remember feeling this way and feeling like the absolute worst person in the world for not having the “I wouldn’t change it for the world” feelings that I so often heard. I was 18 yrs old was very hard on myself for putting myself in that position. 14 yrs later…I absolutely love my son but I absolutely get it.

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  42. Not gonna lie, this was kinda hard to read and I’m sure there are plenty of women in her shoes going through the same thing.

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  43. I have felt this way may times in the last 20 years. While I love my babies and I did my best to raise them we suffered and missed out on so much because I’m a single parent. The fear of possibly being one in the future is why I’ve chosen not to have anymore kids. Being a single parent is the hardest shit to survive and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

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  44. I weep for my daughter’s growing up in this harsh,disrespectful,evil,bloody generation…but there is light at the end of my tunnel…They WILL be the change I pray to see…

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  45. Takes courage to say this in a world where we quickly judge because their opinion is not the same as ours.

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  46. Daphne XI IX says:

    to any woman that can stand in her TRUTH!

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  47. Wonderfully written! Love the honesty. I’m sure many mom’s feel this way and that’s OK. OUR SOCIETY makes us feel like life is worthless without children. No one ever shares their true feelings of their challenges, I applaud her honesty.

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  48. Déja Leslie says:

    I’m just saying… don’t lose focus. . It’s possible to do and achieve all that your heart desire! You’ll just have company along the way

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  49. I can’t even tell you ladies how relieved I feel right now. I have felt so guilty for even thinking of what my life would be like had I made different choices. I think it goes without saying how much I love my son and would move mountains to make sure he’s good. But it is very isolating and you don’t feel like you quite fit in.

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  50. Donald Tai says:

    This is the one thing that always ALWAYS goes through my head before I even think of having sex with someone. I just couldn’t live my life regretting having a child. The truth is that a lot of people young and old who have kids have this thought running through their head and it is just unsettling. What’s sad is, for the times I’ve denied advances from women, I’ve been called gay slurs or whatnot and I love women. It’s a struggle because my appetite for sex is ridiculous.

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  51. I think at some point every mom, when feeling overwhelmed, have had thoughts like this. Once you have children you are living your life for someone who is completely dependent on you. I can only imagine what it must feel like as a single parent. Financially you might be more prepared than a single parent but even married couples aren’t always prepared emotionally for the stress of parenting. I commend the author for expressing her feelings because parenting is hard work, especially when you’re doing it alone.

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  52. Ellen B says:

    I’m so glad I happened upon this article. I was raised with 2 parents and knew I would never want to be the statical black never married mother. This article and comments just confirmed everything I was thinking and feeling. I love babies but I believe they should only be an addition to a strong foundation. Husband and wife. Just getting out of a 5+ years relationship I’m counting my lucky stars my ex, friends or my mom could not convince me or guilt me into having a baby without a solid union. I think it isn’t fair to the child or the mother. I can’t respect the men who just abandon the family they help start! To all the single mothers- I applaud your strength, tenacity, and compassion! You women amaze me! To the ladies who kept it real I appreciate your honesty and bravery! You guys have released me from my guilt of sticking to my beliefs!

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  53. BHB says:

    I am a new mother. My daughter is 3 months old, beautiful, and vibrant. I truly love her with all my being. However, there have been at least s dozen occasions where I regret not having an abortion. Honestly, I got pregnant on a whim. Not intentional at all. It was really the best time of my life. I’d recovered from a catastrophic breakup. I looked great, my body and my skin were clear, I had finally beaten my depression. I was planning for my future and it seemed actually plausible. Then my first time having sex after being celibate for 7 months, I got pregnant. Fast forward a year later, I’m covered in stretch marks, 50 lbs heavier, single mother living with my single mother. It’s hard to go out some days. With that being said, my daughter is one of the happiest babies I know. Her energy keeps me alive and I never resent her. It’s myself I’m angry with. Not even her father, I was a catch for him. I know from the beginning I never wanted to be with him. My friends all want me to tell them how miraculous it’s been since giving life. I’m a “keep it real” sort of person, I can’t do that right now. I can say it’s a humbling experience

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  54. Grateful2TheEnd says:

    I ENTIRELY appreciate this post. Peace & blessings to everyone who can relate. Motherhood is a lot of hard work that many cannot even fully comprehend until they are literally IN the situation. I had tons of ideas & judgments about motherhood that were obliterated once I had my daughter. Raising her while trying to maintain a shaky marriage thus far has been the hardest experience of my life – still I love her dearly, and definitely don’t regret it. I don’t blame those who do regret it. I don’t blame those who opt out of having children. I don’t blame those who choose to wait. I agree with all of the positive sentiments before mine. We all deserve our say & to feel our feelings. Our experiences are as individual as we are, but I’m glad to see when we can relate on common ground. I am not a single mother, but I was raised by one & understand the deep struggles of lacking support as a new mom who has taken on more than my fair share of the burden. I wish I had vetted my situation more thoroughly before getting into it, but I’m convinced that my daughter was meant to be here and I was meant to raise her. I could only stomach a handful of the judgmental comments … It’s easy to demonize those who made different choices than you did, but it’s not helpful & only elevates your ego superficially. Please chill with the shaming – The world really is hard on us as women. The least we can do is respect & support one another.

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  55. My husband and I are 35 with 5 years of marriage under our belt with no kids. I love our life. I have an amazing career and I know I wouldnt have accomplished what I wanted to career-wise if I was a mom. Im not organized enough to have all these roles Welp, we both keep looking at each other for the answer to the “kid” question and it feels like we both have luke warm feelings about it. Me more so than bc although he is an awesome person, we know as women we do the lion’s share of the work when it comes to kids. Idk, I feel like reading this I could experience regret and why do that to myself or the child if I have a choice.

    On another note, ladies please protect yourselves and use birth control. You have the power to prevent pregnancy, especially if this is not something you want. I know we are all young and carefree once, but just a little precaution can go a long way. 🙂

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  56. Anita Wamuyu says:

    Meditation got babies and children reflexology aromatherapy for children

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  57. Wow! This hurts my soul because as a mom of six, who went from marriage to divorcee’. I had to adpat to being a single mom, yes undeniable it hard. But I cant recall a momemt in life where I ever regret my children. With that being said she needs a support system..

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    1. Amen and great job being an amazing mother .. I too struggled but never a regret only love and my children were never once a regret…

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  58. Jade Phillps says:

    Excellent read

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  59. Single parenting is hard. I understand people saying that life would be different. Many of my friends have been working for years and have a full pledged career. Whereas mine hasn’t begun yet and I’m 26. However I would never say I regret having my daughter but obviously it would’ve been nice to have the child’s dad at the scans and the birth and without the drama that has continued since then. But life isn’t easy and I love the fact my life is different than others and that I’ve had my child young so she can learn and grow with me.

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  60. Good read. Hope things get better for her.

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  61. Pier Parks says:

    Good read!! Thankful for her honesty!!

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  62. J Alex Watts says:

    Respect to the writer

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  63. Thank you for writing this piece ..xoxo

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  64. I can relate and ppl have told me I am mean! Am not I’m realistic single mom a widow is HARDER THAN HARD! there have been times I’ve wanted to run away ALONE! So bravo to this article

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  65. Yes I can relate and it’s bad enough society always brings us down and talks us single moms like trash. Smh

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  66. Thank you ladies for voicing your struggles. I never want to be a single mother, not so I won’t become another statistic, but because I would feel guilty about not giving my child a complete family i.e mother & father married. This is the first time I feel like people are being brutally honest about being a single mother. I feel like ppl are being so selfish when they have a child w/o thinking of that child’s future. This is my best form of birth control. But despite this I would like to say NEVER give up on your dreams, they are completely possible!! And don’t listen to the naysayers!!

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  67. The struggle is real sometimes but I never regret my angel and would do it all over again …I was 27 with my first pregnancy and 28 when I had her… I can’t picture my life with my daughter…it’s sad some people regret their children I know alot of people who have them who don’t deserve them tho

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  68. Take it from someone who knows; one day you will realize that your life is much richer with this child in your life. Things are difficult now, but they won’t be always. Many single women, at some point in their lives, regret not having a child by whatever circumstance. You will be his Goddess.

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  69. Holy balls! So hard to read I regret having my child. People think motherhood is like a laundry beach commercial, it ain’t! It’s not for everyone, it may take some women some time to ‘get there’ emotionally, I just wish society get real and nonjudgmental towards new mothers so that they’re not afraid to get help. There’s a very sexist notion that once you give birth or have kids you’re suppose to be perfect mommy but there are plenty of men who regret having kids too but that’s easily dismissed. Much respect to you single mommies.

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  70. Tanya Ebule says:

    Brava ladies for speaking your truth!! And don’t ever feel ashamed for doing just that!

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  71. Thank you for your honesty. We need more voices like yours

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  72. Shasta Smith says:

    It is hard, I’m 35 with 2, love em to death but lawdddd …

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  73. Bran Bran says:

    Being a single mother is hard…I appreciate the honesty and realness. I have felt the feeling before & often wonder if I was alone. I appreciate this post…Most definitely my favorite post to date…

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  74. Dez Fraser says:

    I enjoyed this article !!! There’s so many similar feelings , it is hard !

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  75. Toni Styles says:

    Finally someone speaks what no one will I feel like this daily and feel so guilty it’s very refreshing to know I’m not alone

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  76. This was a great read.

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  77. Dionde Smith says:

    I can appreciate her honesty…. That’s a brave thing to admit
    But I can tell her it gets better and easier
    With FAITH and PRAYER
    #proud.single.mom
    #raised.2.great.men

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  78. Juvy LeVette says:

    I relate to her! Great read!

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  79. Tamara Todd says:

    Very sad tho…I really hope it works out..God will make a way lady..jus believe

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  80. I’m not a mother, but I totally agree with the writer. I’m 33 & get asked often when I am having a baby. My reply, I’m not not married, I don’t won’t to be a single mother, raising a child alone. Most importantly, I’m traveling, finishing my bachelors degree & trying to find myself.

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  81. Laura says:

    I can empathize with this persons story and any other woman out there who feels this way. Parenthood is hard sometimes it also has its ups and downs like everything else in life. I just hope any woman out there seeks help and not desperation. The worse thing for me as a mother is to hear how another mother snapped and killed her children. Seek help before you EVER reach that point.

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  82. Misha says:

    Ladies I really appreciate your bravery in telling your truth. This is the side you don’t hear. People give me that “what’s wrong with you” look when I tell them I’m not sure I want kids. I’m the product of a single household. My mom died. Never met my father. I watched my sisters struggle raising their 3 siblings. I wonder now how many sleepless and crying filled nights they endured wondering how we were gonna make it. Even probably regretting their decision to take us in. I appreciate this read. It made me cry.

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  83. Jaim says:

    therealyouishidinginplainsight.tumblr.com

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  84. Candace says:

    Some women truly desire to be a mother, and there are some that think they are suppose to be moms like its a rite of passage and those days are over, and realistically there are a lot of women who have kids and truly regret having them. Times are different. The days are not slow like in 1956 and society offers a lot of movement and stimulation. Most women are better off not having kids unless they are older or truly desire to be a mom. women have to truly have their affairs in order before considering children. 72 percent of black women are single moms which unfortunately says most likely a black woman will be a single mom, so make sure you really desire children. I never wanted to be a mother and I am so glad I was surrounded by honest women like the lady in the article who told me ” don’t do it” lol and it’s the best decision ever. I tip my hats to single moms because it doesn’t appear fun.

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  85. Janice says:

    I read this a couple of days ago and wasn’t going to comment but the idea of it all never left me alone…
    As a result of teen parents my mother was on the abortion table with me with every intention of getting rid of me but she didn’t and I’m sure that was hard for her because to a certain extent she wasn’t the best mother growing up. Mind u I’m the 2nd of 4 children & I was the only one raised by her more than the others although I eventually moved with my father in my preteens. With that said as parents we have to realize the energy we put on things. I’m now a mother myself with a 19 month old and 1 on the way. I waited to have children because I didn’t want the regrets because children don’t deserve that. They deserve our love without that “what if” attached to it because let’s face it YOU are ultimately the one who allowed this situation for whatever reason in your life. And you have to take responsibility for that. I’m no expert but most people show plenty of signs of instability & inconsistency but as women sometimes we overlook things cause we’re caught up in these isolated moments. Then once reality sets in we start with the what ifs. All I’m saying is that our children don’t deserve that energy over their lives because they are too precious & I feel you can subliminally pass resentment onto your relationship with your children without even realizing it.

    Said with love & respect for all mothers. Just my opinion.

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  86. Nikki L. says:

    I became a single mother at the age of 17. As much as I wanted an abortion, the choice really wasn’t mine, because I was underage. My parents made me become a mother, (my dad didn’t believe in abortions) so all the goals I set for my future were deferred. I’ve worked my ass off to not become a statistic, but the reality was/is that I already was/am. And despite my many accolades, there’s still resentment in my heart. Not towards my child per say, but towards the responsibility that was placed upon me. So many sacrifices have been made in order to care for my child, enough to make me not ever want to have another one..married or not. I’ve gotten through 9 years of parenting, and it has not been a walk in the park nor a bed of roses. So I UNDERSTAND WHOLLY where this author is coming from. And it feels good to know that I’m not alone in feeling like this. Society tends to shun women like us, but in reality, there are way more of us than not.

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  87. Miss Smith says:

    Oh my goodness, this so resonates with me and I thank you for sharing your story. I prided myself (mistake #1) on dotting every i and crossing every t in my life to achieve the life I wanted. It was after that I decided it was time to do a relationship and I made a wrong choice with my son’s father. Never in a million years could someone have told me I would be a struggling, single mom–or a mom at all. It was never my dream to be a mom, but I welcomed it if it happened.

    My son is now almost 10 and his father isn’t involved. Honestly, all I’ve known for the past 10 years is hardship, and It has financially destroyed me. I held on to my big city life for as long as I could, but Chicago literally choked me out! Three months ago, I returned home to family “regroup,” (i.e., start over figure out what my life will be). At 44, I’m having a big, life size helping of humble pie and have never felt so lost.

    I hate that hardship and sorrow is what I associate motherhood with. I had –and still have struggles with my identity as a mom and not allowing myself to just be limited to motherhood. I love my child and he’s the best part of it all, but sorry, I am not so in love with motherhood that I will settle for just that. Motherhood is not the end all, be all for me. Perhaps my mindset will change;perhaps it won’t, but I am anticipating that the best is yet to come. I don’t hear any other moms expressing this so it was refreshing to read your article.

    To all the self-appointed judges in the feed, I love my son, am better having had him and am a good mother. Has it been comfy? No. Have there been days that I fantasized about how much easier my life could/would be without motherhood. Yes! That’s real. I know this perspective may not be well received but it is just that…MY PERSPECTIVE. Mothers, I salute you!

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  88. Joan Culpepper says:

    Maybe children don’t need everything, perhaps the best thing you can give them is you and all you have to offer. Sometimes children who grow up with the world on the platter have no clue what it means to appreciate others or their sacrifice. Keep going and you will see that this child you cared for will one day care for you.. Because they love you too.

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  89. Ik says:

    I understand this and I am married. Regardless of marital status, mothers have all or most of the responsibilities. Also, it is hard seeing people without children living their dreams while you’re limited because of family obligations.
    When I was a teenager, I always remember hearing that your life is over when you have a child. I thought it was an exaggeration but it’s kind of true. You live for your children when you become a mother. Even when they become adults, you will worry about them. Your live revolves around your children from the time they are born.
    Motherhood definitely is not for everyone. Society needs to stop making people think that they have to have kids to have a family. And adults should calmly talk about all of the opportunities one misses by becoming a parent instead of using scare tactics to prevent teen pregnancy.

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  90. OMG the devil is a liar that baby is a source of so many blessings

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  91. What about going to Planned Parenthood before and birth control as an option…

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  92. LMN says:

    So many thoughts running through my mind as I read this. I appreciate your honesty. Your feelings right now may be a phase or it may be permanent. Who knows? I’m a single mom by decision (some moms say by choice) and although there are some huge difficulties, I don’t regret having kids. That could be because I went in with full knowledge. I was realistic in what I could handle and what I could not. I was also much older and lived it up in my younger days. I must be honest that what saddens me most about articles like this is how a child might feel. Even though you shower him with love, I bet he’d be deeply hurt if he knew how you truly felt. I am not saying this to guilt you. However, to those that have not had children make sure you know what you are getting into and that you really want children. Children should be wanted, not tolerated. It is better to not have children because you can admit that you want to focus on yourself and have complete freedom than to have them and regret them. It is NOT wrong to decide against having children. While a parent may regret having a child, I bet that child will grow to resent the parent because children pick up on these feelings because they will be expressed via our actions no matter how much we think they will not.

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  93. Howboutthis says:

    How about this. Birth control. The shit is 7 dollars with insurance and $30 without. Use it. Quit blaming it on self esteem and all that other bullshit. It was you being careless with a dude just as careless and full of shit. Everybody wants to have dope sex but want to blog about all the bad shit that happens after the endorphins wear off.

    Also make sure your kid never sees the email you sent to this site because this shit would break their heart and you’d forever be a bltch. Journalism is cool but let’s be honest that shit ain’t about to change your life especially in Atlanta. What ifs are cool but be realistic.

    (-3)
  94. JazzyJ says:

    This article just really puts it out there that some women aren’t meant to be mothers….like if you’re still regretting your child years later, you need to seek help. They didn’t ask to be here, you CHOOSE to bring them in this world. Just to put it out there, I have an new baby as well.. if anything, he pushes me to do better in life as I had became stagnant. I got to travel and do alot before he was born, but still..

    Life never goes as plan…you have to keep rolling with the punches.

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  95. Having my 1st and after trying for years with my husband i could never see myself regretting having my child no matter how hard life might or will be. Giving life is such a beautiful blessing.

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    1. Dana Cotton says:

      You live a completely different life than the author. Of course YOU wouldn’t say that. Have some sensitivity.

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    2. Stacy Oden says:

      Judgmental* and now you are becoming condescending and insulting. We both commented that your COMMENT was insensitive and the original commentor expressed how she came to this conclusion. No need to become defensive or abrasive. You posted the comment so you should be able to handle a riposte. Look that up. Enjoy your day.

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    3. wrap up don’t always work either lol abstinence is the best solution

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    4. Stacy Oden says:

      If you don’t want to get fat, don’t eat food. If you don’t want to get in an accident, don’t drive a car. If you don’t want to be a victim of domestic violence, don’t get in a relationship. Same broken ass logic, same disenchanted, unrealistic and judgmental undertones.

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    5. Haha im still trying to figure out why some of y’all all up in y’all feelings about what i wrote. You would think i said she’s a horrible woman for saying she regret having her child(seeing i said nothing about her but about myself in my very first statement). Took a simple statement and turn it into something far from what i said or felt. But whatever make y’all happy 😊😊😊😊

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    6. So because im married and not a single parent i don’t understand the experience? I may not be a single parent but the life I grew up with watching my mom as a single parent trust and believe i can give horrific stories for days but through it all my mom never regret it and i live and learn through my mom recognising my strength but like i said we all can have our opinions that’s what this is for. I respect your opinion.

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    7. Soooo, while I don’t necessarily see her comment as insensitive, personally, I do understand where the others are coming from. All I would say is that the commenter can’t possibly fathom where the writer is coming from because at the end of the day…your situation is completely different. There’s a huge difference in your wanting and planning and trying for a child vs an unplanned child…regardless of the reasons why.

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    8. This i will say and this might be insentive but it is true. We all know abstinence means you can’t get pregnant once you have sex pregnancy is a possiblity. So whether plan or not we all know the risk amd even i know the risk of marriage may not last and i could become a single parent and still i would not regret because life happens we just have to make the best of it. I may not be a single parent but i lived the experience with my mom and not once did she regret having me(yes she told me that).

      Now you can say my comment insentitive 😊.

      You have your opinions and i have mines. When you put your life on social be aware it might be scrutinise.

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  96. As a mom and a daughter I would be completely hurt if I found out my parents regret having me, or that they could see life without being a parent. A life they would thoroughly enjoy!

    As a mom (married) I’m still stressed with babies. Yes it may be easier with help, but it’s still not a walk in the park.

    With or without my husband, I don’t regret my children.

    Everyone has problems. Please be thankful for what you do have.

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  97. I just wanted to reach out to all you single mothers out there and tell you it gets better. I know its hard early on but it gets better this is coming from a man who was also raised by a single mother. I recently wrote a book dedicated to all you supermoms out there I would love if you ladies could check it out. Its written from the mans perspective from dating single moms. I discuss how sometimes it feels like we are walking on eggshells or just competing with your past for you (babydaddy). Its not easy for us either so thats why I wanted to discuss showing you a mans point of view. My Book is Called The MAN-ual The Single Mothers Guide To Dating And Moving On. Check it out and God Bless.

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