With so much negative space and energy on the Internet, reading the refreshing words of wisdom from Black-ish star Tracee Ellis Ross is always a welcome change. Basically, she’s my girlfriend in my head.
Congrats to #TraceeEllisRoss who for the first time in 34 years made history as a Black woman to win Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series (comedy or musical) at the #GoldenGlobes for her role in #Blackish. Debbie Allen was the last to win for ‘Fame’ in 1983. Congrats 👑!! #xoFlyWomen
See this Instagram photo by @xonecole * 5,961 likes
Tracee is constantly offering up some great words of wisdom that any woman can turn into a daily mantra to help themselves live their best lives. From loving yourself as you are today, to embracing fear, check out her wise words to anyone looking to live and feel whole.
1. STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE
In an interveiw with Motto:
“We spend so much time as women in our culture being told that we are ‘supposed’ to be something: ‘Supposed’ to be married, ‘supposed’ to be a certain weight, ‘supposed’ to do a certain thing. There’s so much that gets left out. If you’re so focused on the scale, you’ll miss a lot of other things. I’m known for my style, I love beautiful clothing and makeup. I love all of those things, and there’s space to be all of those things as a woman. There’s space to be sexual and beautiful and intelligent—all of it. And I think any messaging that limits it, it’s time for it to be done.”
2. HAVE AN UNCONDITIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW
via Tracee’s sit down with Huffington Post:
This quote changed the direction of my life honestly: “Right now, can you make an unconditional relationship with yourself? Just at the height you are? The weight you are? With the intelligence that you have? And your current burden of pain? Can you enter into an unconditional relationship with that?” – Pema Chodon
And it changed the course of my life because I felt like so often its, “How can I be something other than I am?” There’s a lot of ways that I make myself happy and I think for me, happiness is not always the goal, but joy more. Happy is sometimes is a little fleeting for me and I think we can be as happy as we make our minds up to be. It was said to me, and it made me roll my eyes, ‘It’s about the journey,’ But it really is.
3. CELEBRATE THE #BLACKGIRLMAGIC WITHIN YOURSELF AND OTHERS
via The Cut :
I need to see my own beauty and to continue to be reminded that I am enough, that I am worthy of love without effort, that I am beautiful, that the texture of my hair and that the shape of my curves, the size of my lips, the color of my skin, and the feelings that I have are all worthy and okay.…I really feel like there’s a paradigm shift that has occurred in the last ten years for how black women in this country are seen, the voice that we have, how we see ourselves, how we our images are portrayed. I want to see images that remind me that I am beautiful and I am enough, so that I don’t have to waste any energy feeling ashamed of myself or any of that, so I can actually go out and do extraordinary things. Using my voice to recognize and celebrate other women is a joy for me.
4. FIND YOUR TRUTH BY SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH LIKE-MINDED FRIENDS
“That is a daily exercise big and small, finding one’s own voice and finding your truth. There are a ton of tools I use. I think, first and foremost, having a relationship with a core group of like-minded, supportive, compassionate humans that become your counsel is extremely important. Having your own tribe of people, some of which are in exactly the same place as you, that mirror your own experience and help you to see your own experience in a loving and compassionate way.”
5. LISTEN TO FEAR AND LEARN FROM IT
via her speech at the Essence’s Black Women in Hollywood luncheon :
“We should remind ourselves in daily life to make space for selfhood…Boobs don’t belong up here, they belong down here. This is where God put them. I am human. I listen to fear and lean into it. I don’t always feel fierce but I do feel human.”
6. EMBRACE YOUR GOD-GIVEN BEAUTY
via The Cut;
I used to try to beat my hair into submission so that it could look like other people’s hair. The moment that I stopped doing that and allowed my hair to be what it is, I came alive. If how I do my hair inspires them to find a new style for the way they want to do their hair, then God bless. I didn’t love my hair growing up, I didn’t love my body growing up, all those kinds of things. To then have people mirror back that it’s good — it’s really nice. I feel like our culture is so good at pulling other people down and being so judgmental, but there’s space for all of us to be who we are. There’s space for us to celebrate each other and root for each other and not take each other down.
7. PRACTICE SELF-ACCEPTANCE
“I feel strongest when I’m practicing self-acceptance. Allowing myself to be myself makes me feel really powerful…I think it requires a sense of community. You have to unplug from what our culture and our world tells us is strong, is pretty, is better. It opens up the door for some fun, because otherwise it all becomes so serious. Strong can be serious, but there’s also some play in just allowing.”
8. EAT JOYFULLY
No one is going to feel joy if they’re always hungry. That’s why it’s great to have a diet that tastes as good as it makes you feel. She told People that she doesn’t restrict her eating to “firm meal times,” but at the same time she eats using the same philosophy that she lives: joyfully.
“I have this philosophy on eating that it not only has to taste good in my mouth, but also feel good in my body…So a lot of things that taste good in my mouth don’t feel good in my body.”
I’m pretty sure that Tracee was a spiritual leader in her former life, because she’s always speaking the gospel truth!