There will come a time at your job when you experience the slow season. This is the time when you probably spend more hours scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed because there is simply nothing to do, right?
width="596" height="335" />
Wrong.
width="498" height="280" />
Studies show that workplace boredom is a top cause as to why people quit (so if you are a manager, this is important for you to know). Also, when people are bored at work, they tend to feel unfulfilled, unchallenged, and less engaged. On the same note, people are known to quit higher paying jobs for jobs that are lower paid but more satisfying.
[Tweet "Being bored at work is a top cause of why people quit."]
When the slow season at work occurs, I will admit that this is something that you may not have any control over. However, there are plenty of things that you can do to prevent suffering from workplace boredom. As I like to tell my staff, "there is ALWAYS something to do."
Read below for 7 things that I have done (and that you should do) when works gets slow.
1) Organize your emails
When it is busy, I typically get over 100 emails a day (yes I said 100!). Although I have rules set up to automatically forward certain emails to specific folders, there are times when I need to do a little email clean up. My rule of thumb at work is to NEVERdelete any emails--you never know when you may need it. When it is slow at work, I take time to archive my emails and set up new auto-forward rules. Between archiving and having auto-forward rules for my emails, my work life becomes sooooo much easier. If you use Microsoft Outlook at work, setting up auto-forward is easy-peezy. Click here to learn how. If you use Google mail, it is also a piece of cake. Click here to learn how.
[Related: #FixItFriday: How I Manage Email Overload]
2) Create an operations calendar
If you have a job like mine that can be pretty inconsistent throughout the year, creating an operations calendar for yourself or for your department will be very useful for the future. An operations calendar is basically where you would list out each month, think about what typically goes on during that month, and then write down things that you can work on (be detailed and specific; you will thank yourself later). Not only does it help you set your mind to always think forward, but it also helps you plan in advance. When you are making your operations calendar, get feedback from your team (if applicable). This then becomes a cool team-building exercise, and it helps everyone get connected and to see the bigger picture of what they do. Once this operations calendar is complete, be sure to email it out to your team, save on your desktop, and upload to Google Drive or Dropbox for protection (if your computer crashes, you do not want the files to be lost).
[Tweet "Be proactive and not reactive."]
3) Educate yourself to be greater
If you don't believe in yourself who will? When it gets slow, use this as an opportunity to build on your skills or find new ones. Although your supervisor is responsible for your professional growth, you are just as responsible (if not more). At most companies, there are training manuals and videos available. If you are unsure if your job has any, ask your boss or someone in HR. Take time to not only learn more about items that can increase your skills, but challenge yourself to learn something new. If your company does not have an online source with training manuals and videos, talk to your boss and see if she or he has any training materials for other departments that you can read.
4) Learn how to be a Jack (or Jill) of all trades
One of the easiest ways in becoming more marketable is to become an expert in more things. Instead of pinning new recipes on Pinterest, use your time wisely and ask for cross-training opportunities. Maybe you work in PR, but have a desire to learn about accounting. Schedule some time with the person in accounting to learn more about what they do. Also, ask for opportunities to assist them with a project that they may be working on. This not only helps you build more skills and become more marketable, but it helps you build a positive relationship with others at work.
[Related: If You're Not Spending Time With Your Boss, You Could Be Missing Out On Your Next Career Opportunity]
5) Streamline a process
There are plenty of things that we sometimes gripe about at work when it comes down to how certain things are being done. When I talk to some of my friends, they complain about their work and say things like, "why do we have to do ____ like this" or "if we did ____ like this it would make all of our jobs easier." My response back is always, "well did you outline this new process and share it with everyone?" If you don't like something and choose to complain about it, make sure you have an alternate plan. With my team, I am known for always asking for feedback on the way things are done. I always tell my employees that if they don't like the way certain things are being done, then come up with a new plan and let me know. If you find yourself frustrated with a process, put together a well thought-out, detailed plan, and present it to your team and boss. You never know, your new process may be the winning idea and it may help out your team.
6) Mentor someone
Giving back and finding a way to be a service to others is important. If there are any newbies at your job, or even someone that you don't work with but you know could use a little guidance, take them under your wing. Teach them things that you know and find different ways to build a healthy relationship with them. Some companies even have an official mentoring program, so if yours does, find a way to join it as a mentor.
7) Update your resume
You should always have an updated resume on deck. Not because you are anticipating on leaving your job, but because true bosses are always ready when an opportunity knocks. Whenever you start a new job, immediately add that experience to your master resume. A master resume is a document that lists literally everything that you do and know. This is important to have so that you can jot down everything that you are awesome at. When you are applying for jobs, curate a different resume that caters to the job description.
I also recommend continually adding on to your master resume as you progress at your job and learn new skills. On the same note, update your digital resume and portfolio (aka your LinkedIn profile). Update your LinkedIn profile with new projects that you are working on, or new skills that you have gained. Taking time to update your resume will not only boost your confidence, but it will also prepare you for the next opportunity.
What are some productive things that you do when you are bored at work. Share your thoughts below!
RELATED
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
It's important to bring up that super unfair comparison because, when it comes to a particular dating trend that’s on the list of being a really big dating trend right now, it’s both men and women who are looking to get in on it — and if it’s good for one gender (within reason), in all fairness, it should be seen the same way for the other (again, within reason).
So, with that said, whatever it is that I’m about to share on the topic of age-gap dating, just know that I have no bias; I simply think it’s important for men and women, younger and older, to take a very realistic approach to this kind of dating…because as with pretty much everything in life, it has its pros and some, well, cons too.
Popular Doesn’t Automatically Mean Best
GiphySomething that has kind of always fascinated me about our culture is how so many people will abandon all common sense and logic, just to do something that is considered popular. Well, at the end of the day, that’s pretty much what a trend is: something that is currently done by a lot of people for…whatever the reason. When it comes to dating trends, specifically, oftentimes, they are “birthed” out of surveys from dating sites or apps. When the people who conduct them notice that something is overwhelmingly preferred, encouraged, or supported, then it becomes a trend — and that’s just where age-gap dating came from.
Long story short, Bumble kinda-sorta-recently did a survey and discovered things like 63 percent of folks don’t factor in age when it comes to dating, and 59 percent of women said that they would date a younger man; those are pretty large numbers, and so, there ya have it: a trend.
I will say that although the study wasn’t super-duper specific about when an age gap is considered to be too much of one,Glamour published an article a few years back that said, 10-plus years between two people is enough to start causing some issues if one is not careful (more on that in a sec). And so, before you decide to get out here lookin’ for a youngin’ or a more — eh hem — mature man, just because it currently seems like everyone else is open to it, consider if 10 years — backward or forwards — is something that you would want to deal with; especially long-term.
If you’re not sure, keep reading. Hopefully, I will provide some things for you to ponder.
Difference in Age Means Differences Everywhere
GiphyI’ve got people in my world who have big age gaps in their relationships. I’m talking about more than just 10 years. One example that immediately comes to mind is a married couple who has 15 years between them; the wife is older. On some levels, everything seems cool and copasetic. Oh, but there are nuances. Like she can be very condescending when it comes to what he finds to be fun and entertaining. Plus, their sex drives are not even close to being compatible now that she is well past menopause. It’s interesting because, rather than acknowledging that a lot of all of this has to do with their vast age differences, she prefers to see him as being immature. He’s not immature, sis. He’s just a lot younger than you are.
So, when it comes to age-gap relationships, that’s the first thing that you should think about: are you willing to deal with the differences that will probably come about, simply because you are at different stages in your lives due to your different ages?
Example: Because people say that I don’t look my age (‘preciate it), it’s not uncommon for folks to try and set me up with someone who is in their early 30s. For the most part, I’ll pass. For one thing, I intentionally decided that I didn’t want to have kids a long time ago, and I don’t want to have that discussion/debate with someone who may feel otherwise (quite possibly because they don’t have kids or want more of them). Also, I’ve worked with people, in the lane of relationships, for quite some time now.
Men before 35? For the most part, I encourage their focus to be on themselves and building their life (because a lot of guys don’t hit their professional and financial peak until their late 40s or early 50s). As for myself, I’m pretty settled, so I don’t want to be a hindrance when it comes to them up and moving a few times or switching career paths. Do that babe. You should.
I could go on and on when it comes to this particular point. The bottom line is dating someone who has a semi-significant age difference from you and then having a problem with the differences that come along with it is like really enjoying the summertime and then expecting winter to act like it…just because you do. Feel me?
Age-Gap Dating Requires Being a (Patient) Student. And Teacher.
GiphyWhenever people talk to me about the hours that they spend (or is it waste?) arguing with folks on social media, something that I will oftentimes say (for instance) is, “Some of those folks weren’t even born when Freaknik happened. Let them come to the wisdom and insight that you have, due to your age, on their own.” Same thing goes for age-gap dating.
When it comes to these celebrity relationships, so many of them switch up like they change their underwear, so I won’t even give specific examples. If you surf or scroll on a daily basis, though, you know that there are some older women dating younger men and older men who are dating younger women who show all the signs in the world of heading for a real roller coaster ride because…they are simply at two totally different points in their life.
For instance, when you’re in your 20s, it’s not automatically a red flag that you want to go to the club often. Oh, but when you’re in your 40s, you can be tempted to tell them that it is — even though you did the same thing when you were their age. You know, just because you’ve “been there and done that” before, that doesn’t mean you should look down on them because they haven’t (yet).
Yeah, that’s another challenge about age-gap dating and age-gap relationships: you tend to think that you should be someone’s parent instead of their partner.
So, do I think that age-gap dating can never work? No, that’s not the case. What I will say is if you’re not a very flexible person, you are about to be pissed, often. Because when you’re with someone who has a different view of things that you do, and a part of it is because they are a different age than you are, you’ve got to be willing to teach some things that could help them to grow and also learn some things that could help you to become a better person — whether they are the older one or not.
Take two of my clients where, again, the husband is younger (by nine years) and the wife is older. He says all of the time that if he had not come into her life, she would’ve aged faster because she owns the fact that she’s not naturally a very adventurous person. At the same time, because of her influence in his life, he’s better with time management, which has helped him professionally, because she’s a huge planner (something that she learned to become due to “fumbling some balls” back when she was younger). See what I mean: the student as well as the teacher.
Does this apply to all relationships? It should. I’m just saying that when age-gap dating comes into play, lessons tend to pop up often and sometimes, very unexpectedly, simply due to folks being at various places and stages due to their age alone. If you can’t fathom dealing with that, age-gap dating is probably not something that you should get involved with.
Casually Doing It Can Tend to Backfire
GiphyOkay, so what if you’re someone who wants to do some age-gap dating on a casual level? What could possibly go wrong there? Well, from reading some of my other articles (check out “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex'”), you’ll already know that I’m not big on the meaning of casual: apathetic, careless, off-hand, without serious intention. Me? Especially at this age, I have zero energy or interest to be dealt with on a casual basis (whew, chile). And what if you’re the one who wants to take this approach? I mean, you’re grown, right? Do you.
I will just give the heads up when it comes to, say, wanting to have a casual sexual situationship with a younger man, while there is more content out here that says while 20-somethings may be having more sex, it’s the people in their 40s who are actually enjoying it the most (which means that it shouldn’t be assumed that the young guys do it better), science is science — and science says that testosterone levels are at their highest when a man is in his 20s. Meanwhile, for us, we are reportedly able to have the most consistent orgasms while we’re in our 30s. Where am I going with all of this?
I actually didn’t become sexually active until college. My first love was younger than I, and goodness, when didn’t he want to hump my leg? The college period was like a sea of raging hormone vessels with free rooms in the form of dorms. Chaotic and damn near diabolical in hindsight. LOL. And a big part of that is because guys have testosterone surging, and we as women are hella fertile. Getting off stays at the forefront on some level (at least for most of us).
The challenge with that is a lot of people who are hormone-driven may not necessarily be relationship-minded. And once you hit your late 30s-40s, after a couple of months of mind-blowing sex (perhaps), that could get old, especially if the sweet young thang doesn’t have much more to offer than that. And so…where do things have to go? That’s the thing about casual…usually nowhere. Again, by definition.
I will say that if you just read all of that and was like, “Okay…and still, what’s the problem?” — hey, do you, sis. I just think it needs to go on record that once you reach a certain point and place in life, casual experiences with younger men can damn near seem brutal — and you can’t really blame them if you got turned out, yet they barely respond to any texts that don’t have sex on the menu. #justsaying
Make Sure to Be Extremely Honest About Your Needs. And Expectations.
GiphyLet’s swing to the other side of this: you dating an older man. I know someone who is currently doing that as well. She’s in her late 30s, and he’s in his early 50s. He’s stable. He’s smart. She said the sex is bomb. Dating him is fun, spontaneous, and full of surprises. So, what’s the problem? He’s super set in his ways. His values are hella traditional (hers are not).
More than anything, though, she wants to get married, and he’s divorced, so he has more of a “been there, done that” take on it. Does he have a problem with being exclusive? Absolutely not. However, having another wife or more children? His kids are grown. He’s mentally and emotionally past that time, too. And so, at a bit of a crossroads, they are — both are invested, and yet, because they are in different seasons of life, they don’t want the same things.
That’s another thing to consider when it comes to age-gap dating — if you are looking for something serious or substantial, you don’t really have time to waste when it comes to getting your needs and expectations out on the table. That’s why, past the first date to see if there is potential for a real connection beyond just chemistry, when it comes to age-gap dating, you really need to get your needs and expectations out there (on both sides) as soon as possible because — and pardon the pun — time is definitely of the essence.
___
A lot to think about? Yeah, perhaps. At the same time, is the age-gap something to be leery of? No. It’s just important to check your motives, be realistic, and not lie to yourself or the person you’re seeing about what you want to get out of it.
Because no matter how hot of a trend age-gap dating may currently be, you need to do what’s right and best for you…not merely what is…popular.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images
