This 56-Year-Old Grandmother Is Proof That Pole Dancing Knows No Age
2008 and 2009 were two years that hit Makeda Smith like a speeding train.
Again and again. The real estate market crashed, causing her to lose dozens of properties in the process. Due to financial setbacks, she had to file for bankruptcy. The IRS came knockin' and she was audited. Shortly after, her home was foreclosed and her car was repossessed. Her man wasn't man enough for her, and left her for good. She had to give up her dog, too. As her life turned completely upside down, Makeda found herself suffering through more losses than she thought she had the strength to bear.
Again and again. Loss after loss.
While others might have crumbled, never having fully realized the power of their strength, under this tremendous pressure, this woman was determined to rise up not only the ladder of success, but also the pole of success. In fact, it was the pole that ultimately led her up the proverbial ladder.
While enjoying some much needed reflection time, Makeda found herself strolling on the streets of Hollywood and Vine one day. She wasn't certain of what she was looking for, but she definitely found it. A lively 74-year-old woman provided the match to ignite the spark within her. The elderly woman went by the name Magda, but what intrigued Makeda about this lady was that there was nothing elderly about her at all. The woman was lively, known for taking pictures and performing limber splits. It was like nothing Makeda had ever seen. Magda was youthful despite what her age would suggest. Makeda looked at her in awe and wondered what was the secret to her eternal youth.
In her forties, Makeda began to attempt to tap into the “fountain" and acquire some of that youthfulness displayed by Magda by taking some yoga classes. “I was inspired to take a yoga class and did, but it didn't excite me. Soon after, I saw a deal on LivingSocial for pole dancing," Makeda shares. “I figured, 'What the heck!' So, I signed up. [I took] one class and I was hooked!"
As a successful publicist for more than 25 years, and working with well-known entertainers that include Mo'Nique, Jamie Foxx, and former Tonight Show band leader Kevin Eubanks, it wasn't too far fetched that the 55-year-old Makeda strutted her stuff into the world of entertainment – but she was not sure how others would react. Especially since pole dancing can be a bit taboo for some people, despite its mental and physical health benefits.
When Makeda first started, she was very conflicted about her choice to participate in pole dancing and sharing that hobby with her friends. “One part of my mind kept telling me I was too old and just crazy to be starting this regimen at my age," she reminisces. “But there are so many women pole dancing now over 40, over 50, and even over 60-- you would be amazed."
For some, pole dancing is how they make their money (stripping, go-go dancing), for others it has become a way to get in shape and live a healthy and happy life. Makeda definitely falls more into the category of the latter. Although Makeda Smith has made it rain in the club a time or two, it is purely something she does as a hobby, she doesn't undress, and she has not quit her day job!
“My first performance was in a bikini bar, Cheetahs, in Hollywood," she shares. “It was an Amateur Pole Night, specifically for pole dance students and amateur performers."
As she laced up her 8-inch heels, Makeda couldn't help but get the jitters. Though she was so confident about her body and her moves, fear has a way of creeping in wherever there's uncertainty. “I was a little nervous, but once I hit the stage, I was ready to entertain," Makeda remembers. “The fun part about the Amateur Pole Night is you get to invite your friends to come out and 'make it rain.' The place was packed and I felt amazing."
For Makeda, hanging upside down on a pole enhances her superwoman abilities. “It is more than exercising for me," she declares. “It is total rejuvenation of the mind, body, and soul. It pushes me to limits I never dreamed of and the effects of physically doing what may seem impossible."
Although pole dancing assisted in anchoring her life and getting back her mojo, in July 2016, Makeda went viral for her skills – but not in a good way. She became a victim of cyberbullying, ageism, and body-shaming by commenters on websites like Worldstar and Baller Alert. Even comedian Earthquake got in on the humor when he asked, “Whose Granny is this???"
“I was totally exhausted after three consecutive dance classes," she explains about the video that made millions of people click and tap into the hype, “I also felt very sad with all the news of the week. People were being murdered by police and police were being murdered, and I felt compelled to dance it out because that is what dancers do."
While many might have hung up their heels and headed back to their usually scheduled agenda in light of controversy, Makeda simply shrugged her shoulders and stated, “I wasn't fazed."
She is now affectionately known by some as a #polepriestess and she has laughingly accepted the hashtag #grannyonapole.
But don't get it twisted, not all of the comments were cruel. She has also gained a lot of new watchers that radiate and outpour positivity and support of her acts of self-love and empowerment. “I don't have all haters, now!" Makeda laughs. “The admiration from men is really a wonderful ego boost as well."
Yes, this #grannyonapole is flexing her skills!
And her love life?
“For the last several years I have not had a sex life, at all. Period," she claims. “Pole dancing kept me in touch and in tune with my sexuality. Dressing up and going to class, wearing high heels, and dancing to great music is a terrific adrenaline boost. I would say that pole dancing promotes self-love!"
Because love makes the world go round, Makeda says that she has recently gotten back into the “swing of things" now that she is dating a new guy. “All my exercising and poling is finally paying off," she says blushing from ear-to-ear. “Pole dancing definitely increases your libido, stamina, and flexibility."
So, if you're thinking of clicking your heels in the air, here are a few tips from the sexy granny that will get you ready to reach the height of that pole:
- Do some research. YouTube has tons of beginner pole lessons and demos where you can actually see classes in session. That way, you will know what to expect and what you are getting yourself into.
- Google and Yelp local pole dance studios to read reviews. Reading about the various studios and the personal experiences of students will help you locate the ideal studio for you.
- Start with a beginner level classes and work your way up to the different levels. Really take your time and learn the basics first. That is how you build your strength and stamina for more advanced tricks later. Don't rush to advanced level classes until you are ready.
Do you think that there is an age cap for pole dancing? Have you been inspired to pole dance too? Drop your comments below.
To learn more about Makeda Smith, visit her website, www.flyingover50.com and visit her Instagram at: @flyingover50makeda
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Are You Waking Up At 3:30 A.M. Every Night? There's A Scientific Reason For That.
If there’s one thing that I strive to do, whenever it comes to whatever content I put out into the universe, it’s to offer at least one thing within the pieces that provide a bit of an ah-ha moment. Today? What does it really mean if you find yourself waking up between 3 and 4 a.m. either every night or all of a sudden for several nights in a row?
If you’re someone who had a church-goin’ grandma, you might’ve heard that midnight and then again at 3 a.m. is when the devil is his busiest (also known as “the witching hour”). And if you just connected the dots on why she would say that there is nothing open past midnight but legs (LOL) well…there ya go. Then there arethe more logical explanations (some of which I will expound on in a moment) including that you may have eaten too late, you drank too much (which requires you to get up and go to the bathroom), you’re subconsciously stressed out, your room is too hot (or cold) and/oryou’re looking at your phone screen too much (the lighting of it can wreck your sleep patterns).
Okay, but what if you’re in your late 30s-early 40s and it seems like, out of nowhere, you’re waking up at 3:30 a.m., damn near on the dot? Is that just a random thing or is there really something to it? Chile, you might be surprised by what I discovered. Read on and I’ll explain.
Waking Up at the Same Damn Time Every Night? Here’s the Deal.
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Oh,perimenopause. It’s a fact of life that no woman can really escape and, to be honest, if you’re in your late 30s, it’s something that you should learn as much about as you possibly can. I say that because, according to many health experts, that time of life (when you’re transitioning into menopause) can lastanywhere from 4-10 years (although for some women, it’s only a few months while for others, it can go past a decade). During perimenopause, you may experience everything from hot flashes and incontinence to mood swings and infertility challenges (in part, due to irregular menstrual cycles) —and that’s just for starters.
Another very telling sign that you are either in perimenopause or very close to the day that officially marks menopause (because technically, menopause is the day that you’ve gone 12 consecutive months without a period; after that, you’re in post-menopause)? Sleep problems. I mean, the kind that has you wondering if you’re either an official insomniac or you’re low-key losing your mind. And guess what? For many women, the wake-up call for if they are indeed perimenopausal is 3:29 a.m. Pretty wild, right?
Apparently, there was a survey that was released in honor ofWorld Menopause Day (yes, there is a day; it's in the fall) that said an overwhelming amount of women wake up at that time of the night. Although studies are being conducted to see what the backstory on all of that is about, what is clear is the roller coaster ride of hormones (especially estrogen and progesterone) messes with your circadian rhythm and that can make it challenging to fall asleep and/or stay asleep.
Do you have to just grin and bear it? No. Well, not totally. If it’s been a few months of waking up around this time and some other of the symptoms that I mentioned are happening too, you might want to make an appointment with your healthcare provider, just so they can confirm that it’s perimenopause as opposed to something else (like say,a thyroid issue). Another thing that you can do is check out online services that specialize in menopause; they will assess you virtually and provide recommendations and sometimes even prescriptions (some of those includePlushCare,Versalie, andLet’s Get Checked).
In the meantime, there are a few things that you can do from the comfort and convenience of your home that may provide some semi-immediate relief. I’ve got eight of ‘em right here for you to try.
1. Get on a Sleep Schedule
If there are two things that folks don’t schedule enough (and probably should) it’s sex and sleep (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Sex? We’ll have to get into that at another time. Sleep? Listen, all that scheduling means is you’re prioritizing something, and when youschedule sleep that can help you to cultivate a routine that will help you to rest more soundly throughout the night. If you’ve never had a sleep schedule before, all you need to do is purpose in your mind to turn in at the same time every evening.
Actually,there are a few more things that you should add to this: don’t take naps through the day (that can definitely mess with your sleep patterns), do some sort of exercising in the morning or afternoon (that will make it easier to sleep at night) and incorporate a lot of these other tips, so that you’re able to cultivate an atmosphere of rest and relaxation before actually falling asleep.
2. Add a Magnesium, Calcium and Zinc Supplement to Your Diet
Something that my mother hipped me to, shoot, decades ago at this point, is taking magnesium, calcium, and zincas an all-in-one supplement. Not only do they work together to naturally relax your nervous system, but they’re also known to improve your sleep quality as well. It’s also a “fun fact” to know that when you’re going through perimenopause, you’re going to lose some calcium, so this supplement can help you stay on top of that in the process.
3. Don't Eat Late
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I’m definitely preaching to the choir when it comes to this particular point because it’s rare that I will look at the clock when it comes to snacking on something. If you can relate,there’s a study that indicates that eating something, even one hour before turning in, significantly increases your chances of waking up in the middle of the night. And since it can be hella challenging to go back to sleep once you are up, the more proactive that you can be at preventing this from happening, the better…right?
4. Sip on Some Golden Milk or Ashwagandha Tea
Before getting into this tip, it needs to go on record that whether it’s water or something else, if you don’t want to be making potty runs throughout the night, you should stop drinking abouttwo hours before bedtime.That being said, two drinks that can help you out on the rest and relaxation tip are golden milk and ashwagandha tea.
Golden milk is good for you because milk contains tryptophan (a natural sleep agent) and turmeric (which is also in golden milk) can actually help to treat sleep deprivation and anxiety. As far as ashwagandha tea goes, it helps to reduce stress and has compounds in it that actually help to induce sleep.
Nowas far as golden milk goes, I am a fan. I will give a heads up, though, that if your periods are topsy-turvy,turmeric is also a blood thinner; so, if heavy cycles are what you’re also going through, you might want to consume golden milk in great amounts of moderation.
5. Make Your Bedroom Cold and Dark
Hot flashes can be as simple as feeling the need to kick your sheets off in the middle of the night or as complex as soaking through your bedding via your sweat. One way to lower the chances of either of these things happening is to take the temperature in your bedroom down a few notches;preferably between 60-67 degrees.
Something else that you should do is keep your room as dark as possible by investing in some blackout curtains, putting on a sleep mask (especially if you share your bed with someone), turning off all electronic devices, and turning your alarm clock away from you.
Why? Becausesome studies indicate that setting your alarm can cause you to look at it off and on throughout the night in anticipation of waking up which can also hinder you from getting all of the rest that your mind and body need.
6. Calm Your Senses
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Calm is such a calming word. It means to be still and to get into a state of tranquility. Some of the synonyms for calm include quiet, serene, mild, smooth, soothing, peaceful, and restful. If your hormones are anything but all of this, you’ve got to be serious about doing things that will help to calm them — and you — down.
Read a couple of chapters of a non-stress-filled book. Play some nature sounds. Do some meditation. Get into some deep breathing. Read up on what is known as NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest).
Contrary to popular belief, if you crash into bed, that’s not the sign of being a healthy sleeper; it actually should take you between 15-20 minutes to lull yourself. Making the time to do things that will calm you can get your mind, body, and spirit to a place where you can fall into a deep state of sleep so much easier.
7. Put Some Marjoram Oil on Your Bedding
If you’re someone who likes to cook a lot, you might be familiar with marjoram as an herb that’s pretty popular when it comes to Mediterranean dishes. On the health benefits tip, it’s good for digestive issues and it’s loaded with antioxidants. However, if you apply it to your life as an essential oil, it actually has a sweet musky scent that can help to (get this) regulate your hormones and, quite possibly, your menstrual cycle too!
If you want to test it out, my two cents would be to apply some of this essential oil to your pillows and sheets; and see if it helps you sleep a bit more soundly over the next couple of weeks.
8. Use Your Bedroom for Sex and Sleep ONLY
It really can’t be said enough (by me and interior decorators) that your bedroom is not supposed to be a mini-office, entertainment center, or jungle gym for your kids. Your bedroom should be for sex and sleep ONLY (with very few exceptions).
And honestly, since orgasms help toproduce some of the hormones that actually help you to decrease your stress levels as well as help you to sleep better — if you do happen to wake up at 3:30 a.m. and you’ve got a fine specimen in your bed beside you…maybe that’s a sign to get some sex to rock you back to sleep! Can’t think of a better way to end this article, come to think of it. #wink
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Featured image by Milko/Getty Images