Why Tipping Your Hair Stylist Should Be A Part Of Your Budget
I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I have a hard time parting with that extra paper after already dishing out $100+ for a hair service, especially if I came in thinking it was going to be one price and then after adding separate shampoo, deep conditioning, and steaming services, it ends up being $50 more.
Oh, the price of beauty.
But, for the most part, I always tip. Maybe it's the former server in me that knows that when you give quality service you hope that it'll be rewarded with an extra tip, because all servers know that if you rely on base pay alone you might as well pick a box to live in on the street. Or maybe as a freelancer, I know that what people think you make is just a fairytale and fallacy once you take out double taxes (the blessing of being your own boss), benefits, and any other expenses that sometimes make you second-guess why you chose an entrepreneurial route to begin with. (Then you remember that it does have its perks!)
In short, I'm compassionate towards my fellow boss chicks and chicos. If the service is of good quality and I don't walk out with a burning scalp or missing edges, I'm all for telling them a job well done for fixing my locs into a fleeky style that will have me taking 100 selfies just to post one for the 'Gram. Ya'll know how it is!
But the truth is not everybody tips for talent, whether it's due to a lack of knowledge of why they should or misunderstanding of what they're paying for, or because they're just too cheap to want to add extra dollars to their service.
Even I admit to wondering if stylists just pocket the extra profit and walk away with more than I make in a day, so to address those burning questions, I chatted with a few stylists—both in professional salons and those who work from home—to get the real deal on why, though not required, it's common courtesy to tip.
You Get What You Pay For
I've been to a number of different salons, and I'll be first to say that not every stylist is made equal! Not to mention that everyone uses different products that can make or break (literally) the health of your hair, so ideally you want a stylist who is going to use the best products for the lowest price right? One stylist says that's exactly why they expect a tip.
“[Most times] you're really not paying top dollar to get your hair done, but [some of us] are spending top dollar on our products. If you were to look online and look at other places you'll see that you're not really spending much for a salon who specializes in top dollar products—not just from a general “Asian" store. And also because you're getting good service. When you're out in any other setting and you're getting good service, you're willing to tip because you're paying for the service."
It Lets Them Know You Value Them
They say what you spend your money on is a reflection of what you value, so when I tip it's my way of giving a figurative pat on the back for a job well done. To a stylist it shows that you appreciate them and that you find their service to be of good quality.
“I don't require a tip, but it is indeed greatly appreciated among stylists. It shows that the client is satisfied with the service and it really makes my day to know they care. Some can't afford to tip, and that's okay. If you can't tip monetary wise you can definitely show a tip in return visits, referrals, and reviews."
Your Tip Isn't Pocket Change, It's Their Survival
Here's where I was most confused, as I never thought of my stylist as an entrepreneur, especially if they worked out of a salon. Nor did I realize how much comes out of their own pockets just to keep their rent paid and the lights on. While you will have stylists who are charging an arm and a leg and probably are eating well off of their hustle, that's not the story for the average hairdresser.
“As a booth renter you have to buy everything, nobody buys your products. You're almost coming under all the time, it's like you never equal out to what you are actually spending, but when I came into the hair care field only because I came from being paid hourly, I'm determined not to make less hourly than what I was making on a regular job. You do come into a salon, too, that has base prices as well. So you are following a base price and based on those prices they may charge more, but for the most part, to me, as long as I've been in the industry, if you are one who buys good products you're never going to come out on top. Maybe some styles [like braiding] would probably get more."
Oh, and let's not forget that the cost of just, well, living.
“Stylists are commission-based; it's just like being a waitress except we don't have base pay to fall back on, so everything counts. Though our services are tax free, our income is literally based off of our hustle. How long are you willing to be at a shop without clients just to catch walk-ins? Or how many salons and beauty supply stores are you willing to go to giving out [promotional] cards. It's not like a job where you can punch the clock and see coins, we have to “punch" our promotions, referrals, feet and mouths to see possible coins."“We pay our own healthcare because again we're basically self-employed. As stylists our whole bodies are involved with our job, so half the time if you have good insurance you can take care of yourself, but if not you have to pay right out to go to a doctor."
There May Be A Return On Your Investment
Sometimes your stylist will let you know in advance when they're running a special or may even slip in a service that they would normally charge for just because they equally value you as a paying customer.
Building a good report with your stylist may lead to opportunities to receive your tip back through a discount or special promotion.
Oh, and in case you're wondering most stylists consider 15% - 20% a good tip (but of course they won't object if you decide to give more!)
Featured image by Guilherme Petri on Unsplash
- Are You Tipping Your Hairdresser Enough? Let This Be Your Guide ›
- Here's Exactly How Much You Should Tip at the Hair Salon ›
- So, How Much Should You Tip Your Hairdresser? ›
- How Much to Tip at the Hair Salon: Your Ultimate Guide | Glamour ›
- Tipping 101: How to properly tip at your salon - AOL Lifestyle ›
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I think we all can agree that social media really is a double-edged sword. What I mean by that is there is just as much bad that can come out of it as good. At the end of the day, it really is about 1) having your own mind, 2) finding balance when it comes to how much time you spend online, and 3) doing your own research instead of taking random people’s opinions as the gospel (i.e., facts).
Gee, I wish more folks did all of this when it comes to if a man needs to have a large penis to sexually satisfy a woman (he does not) and if a woman who has had multiple sex partners will ultimately end up with a vagina that is too large for smaller penises to please her (a lie).
Science totally has my back on debunking both of those things (more on that in a bit). Know what else does? A particular type of sex method that is becoming more popular by the day. One that just might convince you to, as they used to say back in the day, focus less on the “size of the wave” and ride out the “motion of the ocean” instead.
It’s called shallowing. Here’s what it’s all about.
What Is Shallowing?
GiphyIf there’s one thing that I wish folks would say more thoroughly when it comes to women and orgasms, it’s that when it comes to75 percent of women not being able to orgasm from only intercourse, the accurate statement is they struggle with achieving a vaginal orgasm without the assistance of some type of clitoral stimulation. Yeah, we’ve really got to remember that very few things in this life are a complete monolith — orgasms included (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”).
In fact, it was while I was reading up on pairing — a word that is used for when clitoral stimulation transpires during penetration — that I decided to do some deep-diving into shallowing (because it was mentioned inone of the articles that I read).And what is it? Shallowing is when a penis, finger, tongue, or sex toy of some sort is used in order to ever so slightly penetrate the vaginal opening of a woman.
And why is shallowing not just a current sex trend but something that every woman on this planet should try? It’s because of what I’ve said, more than once, on this platform: it focuses on the most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina, which isthe first two inches of her vaginal opening.
When the emphasis is placed there, not only does it increase your chances of experiencing “the big O,” but it can also build up anticipation, which can intensify your orgasms too — yes, shallowing can also be seen as a form of edging.
Another thing that’s cool about shallowing is — and it really and truly can’t be said enough — something that makes vaginal and blended orgasms easier to achieve for some women really has little to do with the size of a man’s package or even his technique; it’s straight up anatomy. Yep, the closer that a woman’s clitoris is to her vaginal opening, the easier it is for a penis to stimulate both. So, science makes it possible for vaginal orgasms to be easier for some women than others.
At the same time, shallowing can make it possible for more women who want to see what a vaginal orgasm actually feels like (because it’s easier for the head of the penis to stimulate the opening of the vagina while the shaft can rub up against your clitoris; based on the position that you are in, of course — the missionary with some pillows propped under the lower part of your back is ideal for this).
Now that you see what shallowing actually is, do you get why I said that penis size doesn’t matter when it comes to doing it — and getting the kind of orgasms that you want? Contrary to popular belief, your vagina is only around four inches. In fact, some health experts say that it ranges between 2-4”. Anything larger, your body literally has to stretch out to accommodate; this includes penises and babies. So, if your vagina is “making room” for more than four inches, why in the world do you think you need a 10-inch man? Yeah…exactly. It really is time to get over the silliness. The average penis continues to be 5.5”. Makes sense when you take it all in (no pun intended).
Aight, so now that you know what shallowing is all about, let me try and hard sell you on why it’s a sex technique that you should try as soon as tonight (if you possibly can).
1. It takes the pressure off of you and your partner.
I’ve been working with couples for almost 20 years at this point. This means that the topic of sex comes up quite a bit. And if there’s one thing that continues to be an issue is inconsistent orgasms (check out “Why Do Orgasms So Often Seem Like A ‘Hit-Or-Miss’ Experience For Women?”).
Listen, no matter how many articles you read or sex positions you try, if you’re anxious, stressed out, or overthinking, it’s gonna get in the way of you experiencing high peaks of pleasure on a consistent basis. Since shallowing is something that can easily be done even in foreplay (via fingering and/ororal sex) if you get that first “release” off, that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy the ones that (hopefully) are to follow.
2. It teaches you more about your vagina.
A part of the reason why I keep repeating certain facts about vaginas in these articles is that it’s amazing how little certain things are discussed en masse — like the size of the vaginal tube. And since shallowing helps you to stimulate the nerve endings at the entrance of your va-jay-jay along with your G-spot (which is housed a little ways from your opening), shallowing is a great way to explore that area of your body as you figure out what truly works for you and…what doesn’t.
3. It’s the perfect merging of foreplay and intercourse.
When you really stop to think about it, shallowing is like the bridge between foreplay and intercourse because you can use so many different things to do it. So, if you want to experiment with a new sex toy or you want a bit more time to “warm up the engine” before full-on penetration begins, shallowing is one of the most sexually arousing compromises there is.
4. It can help to increase your partner’s stamina.
A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity.” Listen, even though I onceread a GQ article that said that over 60 percent of the people they polled were fine with intercourse lasting no longer than 5-10 minutes — that poll doesn’t speak for all of us, chile.
So, if you would like your man to build up to going longer, shallowing can help to make that happen. Since he’s barely putting beyond the tip in, he can learn how to be in you for longer periods of time without being, well, in you.
5. It helps you to appreciate whatever “package” he has.
Again — and it really can’t be said enough — if shallowing is all about exploring the mere entrance of your vagina, you don’t need a man with BDE (check out “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go”) or honestly, even anything close to it.
I mean, even though, reportedly, the size that the average woman says gives her the most orgasms is eight inches — I bet those women have never really tried shallowing before. 10”, 8”, or the average 5.5” can certainly get the job done. And well.
6. It feels A-MAZ-ING.
Okay,so now that you know about shallowing, I promise that if you put the word into your favorite search engine, you’re either gonna see articles on golfing (LOL) or sex, especially as of late. That’s because more couples are trying it out and getting mind-blowing results from it. So, if you’re looking for something new to try, give shallowing a shot.
Hey, anything that’s designed to stimulate your most intense vaginal nerve endings has got to be something for the record books. I mean, how could it not be? Lawd.
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Featured image by Juan Moyano/Getty Images