How 3 Career Women Manage Their Successful Side Hustles With Full-Time Jobs
This year, the side hustle is the new black. Millennials around the country are tapping into their passions and monetizing their hobbies to find a sense of fulfillment that sometimes a 9-to-5 doesn't offer. Although side hustles have gained in popularity, the hustle isn't for the faint-hearted, especially when you are holding down a full-time job. Whether you start a non-profit, offer consulting services, or monetize your personal brand, there are sacrifices that are made to start any entrepreneurial endeavor.
Dreams are free, but the hustle is sold separately. Check out these tips from women who are successfully balancing and hustling their way to the top had to say about managing their side hustles.
Stop Procrastinating – Just Do It
Emmelie De La Cruz fell into her side hustle as her peers began to seek her advice on job hunting, resumes, and cover letters. "I was over answering the same questions about how I got my job and what did I do differently. I started The Branding Muse as a blog to answer those questions and from there, people followed my expertise through my written work and hired me for consulting opportunities. It's something that found me, but I felt there was a need for it," says Emmelie. With only a year after she graduated and launched her blog, The Branding Muse was named one of the Top 100 Websites for Your Career by Forbes in 2013.
Courtesy of Emmelie De La Cruz
Over-thinking, over-planning, and over-doubting are just a few ways we can get in our own way and slow down the process of bringing our ideas to life. “My advice is to just do it. If you have an idea just do it. As women, we have perfectionist syndrome. We always want to have everything perfect and, to me, perfection is the cousin of procrastination."
“In being successful as a side hustler, you really have to prioritize on your business fold. Focus on the activities that will help move the needle and go from there. For me, it's about what's going to make me money. I need to focus on the activities to help me do that. So if I want to sell more books, I need to focus on creating content that is going sell my books. Sometimes it's like, I haven't blogged in three weeks, but I sold 200 books. My Instagram posts are going to be about my books.
"Some people are like; 'I'm just going to blog. I'm just going to waste three hours of my week writing a blog post that I really don't want to write just because I read somewhere on the Internet that I should.' A lot of gurus talk about consistency, but, for me, I think it's more important to be valuable. My audience would prefer that I deliver a kick ass webinar every seven weeks rather than do a mediocre webinar each week. You have to learn how to accept that you don't have to pressure yourself into doing certain things in order for your business to continue to be successful," Emmelie says.
Master the Balancing Act
They say there's not enough time in one day. Juggling a professional and personal life is already tough, but adding in a side hustle can be overwhelming. Just ask Mercedes Smith, who got the idea for her side hustle, Care More, while commuting to work one day. “I noticed the homeless population was out of control. On my commute to work, I watched as numerous people passed the homeless as though they were invisible. I don't always have a dollar to give, so I thought to myself, what could I do to help and give hope," says Mercedes.
One hot summer day in August of 2014, she walked into Rite Aid and bought a bag of toiletries and started distributing toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, and lotions to the homeless, meanwhile offering words of encouragement and providing them with information to shelters or other resources. A year after founding Care More, Mercedes caught the attention of O Magazine and was featured in the October 2015 issue's “Beauty of Giving" article, which honored women who run non-profits and have dedicated their lives to helping others.
Courtesy of Mercedes Smith
“You have to be passionate about what you are doing to devote the time. What I am starting to do now that things are picking up is when my full-time job is over at 6 p.m., I start working on Care More. If I have to take a phone call during the day for Care More, I put it on my calendar and use fifteen minutes to take a call. I also use 30 minutes of my lunch break to catch up on emails, research, and social media. What it boils down to is that you really have to be passionate. After being tired from working from 9 to 6, I have to remember it's more than me. There were times that I wanted to take a break from Care More, but what keeps me motivated is knowing that this is bigger than me," Mercedes says.
Part of being balanced means knowing when it's time to push pause on your yes year. “My number one goal going into (the new year) is learning how to say, 'no'. A lot of people will be coming to you to work with you, but you have to remember the cause. If it doesn't align with the vision or what you are trying to do then it is okay to say no."
Plan Ahead or Fall Behind
Brittany Smith is a Budget Analyst for the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, also known as DARPA by day, and at nights and weekends, she is a wedding and event planner based out of the D.C., Maryland and Virginia area. "I've always loved weddings and the wedding industry and I've planned events since high school. I believed that launching my weddings and events business was the next organic step to pursuing my ultimate passion," Brittany says.
Her biggest advice? Plan for the business that you want.
“Planning, planning, planning is key! Your business will only go as far as the energy and time you put into it. You have to put in the hours. If you plan accordingly, you don't have to be an entrepreneur staying up in the wee hours of the morning and then report to their full time job at 8 a.m.," Brittany says. “I usually try to plan out my weeks the Sunday before and evaluate what I have going. Based on what I have going on that week, I plan out my wedding business hours accordingly."
What keeps her head up during times when she is overwhelmed is her faith and knowing that her full-time job doesn't fulfill her passion. “I know that one day I want to take the big leap of faith, pursue my business on a full-time basis, and not have to work for someone else. In order to do that, I know I have to keep putting in the hours to make my dreams come true."
Take Advantage of Apps & Hacks to Help You Manage
For all three ladies, the key to time management is taking advantage of technology:
“The more you can make your business automated and have it do things for you without physically being there, the more money you can make and the more successful you can be," said Emmelie. Mercedes uses Buffer to help her manage Care More's social media content. “You can take the guesswork out of manually spreading out your posts overtime. Buffer feeds your content into a cue that will automatically space out messages throughout the day with a preset calendar. You can also use the analytics tab to see how well each individual message is performing."
For Emmelie, pictures speak louder than words. “The Internet is a very visual space and visual communication speaks to the value of your services. Everything that I do is accompanied with a graphic. You can insert your product in a mock up photo or template if you don't have the camera or design skills. I use Canva.com for my graphics and Pixlr is another tool. They are free tools comparable to Photoshop that have templates to create graphics," Emmelie says.
Courtesy of Emmelie De La Cruz
“I use Fiverr to find the resources to do things that I'm not good at. Be cognizant of what tasks you're good and not good at. If you're not good at doing something and you have the finances to outsource that responsibility to an expert, do so!" Brittany says.
“Evernote, you can create digital notebooks for everything from keeping track of your expenses and managing your calendar, to creating slideshow presentations and planning your next trip. Whether it's personal or business expenses, keeping track of receipts is impossible for even the most organized of people. By creating one of Evernote's digital notebooks, you're able to screenshot your receipt right after payment, making it easier to locate expenses in the future," Mercedes adds.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Originally published December 18, 2017
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Brittney Oliver is a marketing communications professional from Greater Nashville. Over the past three years, Brittney has built her platform Lemons 2 Lemonade to help Millennials turn life's obstacles around. Her platform is known for its networking mixers, which has brought over 300 NYC young professionals, entrepreneurs, and creatives together to turn life's lemons into lemonade. Brittney is a contributing writer for Fast Company and ESSENCE, among other media outlets.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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Featured image by CoffeeAndMilk/Getty Images