3 Reasons The Female Condom Is One Of The Best Kept Secrets In Reproductive Health
It was just a few weeks okay that I got put on to menstrual cups here on xoNecole, and this week it's time to delve into the awesomeness that is female condoms.
Source: femalecondoms4all.org
The female condom, or femidoms, was developed in 1984 and launched internationally in 1991 by Danish doctor, Lasse Hessel. It is currently now the number one choice of birth control amongst women, albeit it is the only tool available designed to offer dual protection against STIs, HIV, and unplanned pregnancy, according to the National Female Condom Coalition. From a study in 2011, the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention found more than four out of five pregnancies were unintended in women ages 19 and younger, with the proportion of those pregnancies highest amongst girls younger than 15 at 98%.
Women are less likely to contract infections when presented with a wider range of contraceptives. Male condoms, birth control pills, Depo-Provera, or the NuvaRing are not the end all, be all of protection. However, after existing on the market for over two decades, only 1.6% of all condoms distributed worldwide are femidoms.
Here's three reasons why women should consider femidoms as their preferred contraceptive:
1. Sex Is For Pleasure, And Both You And Your Partner Can Get Off Better
I remember growing up and hearing stories about teenage boys and men not wanting to use condoms because “going raw" felt better. And while that may be true for both men and women, the need to protect oneself is still of utmost importance. If your partner is steadfast in not wanting to use male condoms, women have the option of safeguarding their health and the person they're intimate with by using femidoms.
Although the cost is higher in comparison to that of male condoms, pre-lubricated femidoms offer a quick fix to vaginal dryness during sex and with its outer ring, helps stimulate the clitoris. Some female condoms are designed so that the inner ring provides sensation to the tip of a penis when touched. It's been reported some men actually favor femidoms over male condoms, or view them as complementary to one another, because it does not constrict nor inhibit sensation. The acceptance of female condoms by men is due in part to increased pleasure for both parties while engaging in intercourse. It should also be noted that people of all genders and sexual orientation use female condoms.
2. Women are able to call the shots
Instead of relying on men to provide a means of birth control, women are offered the chance to protect health on both ends of the spectrum. Millions of women are dependent on a male's erection to sustain pleasure during sex, but in using a female condom, women are able to call the shots, providing the barrier and remaining safe. These condoms cover more of the external genitalia, helping protect STDs that are transmitted through skin contact.
With dual-protection comes dual responsibility in preventing infections. With the political world ablaze with conversations on women's health, women are able to make decisions about their own sexual health through use of the female condom. Femidoms have a 5% failure rate, whereas male condoms fall within the 9-10% range, according to Planned Parenthood and the CDC.
It's also non-hormonal which actually aids in women feeling better about utilizing them instead of Depo-Provera or the pill which results in increased weight gain, affecting the perception about body image.
3. You Won't Hear The 'Allergic' Excuse Anymore
Cheers to change! Men use the “I'm allergic to latex" excuse a lot, and well, some women do too just for the chance to experience sex better, sans condom. The FC2 female condom, which is only available in the United States and approved for use by the FDA, is hypoallergenic and can be used for those who are anti-rubber. FC2 is made with nitrile, a compound found is medical gloves (sounds odd, but remember the same materials go in your vagina when you visit your gynecologist), so that oil- or water-based lubricants can be applied prior to sex. The heat transmitting material in a non-latex female condom also assists with pleasure and warms body temperature. Perfect for those autumn and winter nights.
If you are curious on how it is inserted, catch a video tutorial below:
Are you currently using female condoms or have used them in the past? Talk about your own experiences to educate other women below!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images