11 Books by 11 Badass Women All Aspiring Boss Chicks Should Read
Between undergrad and graduate school, I spent well over $60,000 for two pieces of paper to prove that I was smart enough to earn a degree. The road to getting these two pieces of paper wasn't easy (or cheap). When I started working as a professional, I thought I knew it all, I mean I went to college and earned a Bachelors degree and, hell, I even had my MBA. However, between earning both degrees, I realized that I didn't know as much as I thought I did.
The thing that you are not told as you are writing that expensive check for college, or applying for that dreadful loan, is that you will not learn everything to prepare yourself for a career. There will be so many things that you wish you would've learned in school instead of taking boring Government or Biology classes.
My best teachers in life have been experience and reading I've done. Everything that I learned and that has helped me develop as a professional came from soaking in knowledge from amazing books and of course the butt-kicking that life casually gives me from time to time.
Each book below is overflowing with business and self-help gems that you can apply to your life as you evolve as a professional. It doesn't matter if you are a self-made boss or a working woman climbing the corporate ladder, each book listed below will give you genuine keys to success.
Before 2017 ends, grab 1, 2, 3, or all of these books to channel your inner girlboss and jumpstart your career to elevate the year ahead.
1. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Filled with entertaining and inspiring stories of her own personal failures and successes, You Are a Badass walks the reader through Sincero's own journey to success. This book is career-focused, but the elements in the book can be applied to your personal life as well. With advice like, “Procrastination is the easiest form of self-sabotage – you'll either find a way or an excuse" or “Fear lives in the future. It hasn't happened yet so why create the drama," this book will have you ready to take on the world.
2. Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers by Lois P Frankel
This book by Executive Coach Lois Frankel is for any woman that has wanted to get ahead in her career, but has found doing so difficult and doesn't understand why. Often as women, we unconsciously demonstrate behaviors that don't serve us or helps us shine. In her book, Frankel tackles this and teaches us powerful lessons on our image and communication style, and she shows us how it effects us as women in the workplace.
3. WERK 101: Get-Your-Life-Together Guide by Koereyelle DuBose
One of the things that I love most about this book is that it is a short, easy read. Often, many self-help books are hundreds and hundreds of pages long and sometimes when you are busy with work and life's responsibilities, it seems impossible to find time to finish a book that is the size of a PhD thesis.
WERK 101 delivers boldness that empowers you to WERK for what you want by first WERKing on you. From discussing how to WERK on you to get the love you want to the career you want, Koereyelle offers a wealth of knowledge for the modern Millennial woman.
4. Miss Jessie's: Creating a Successful Business from Scratch - Naturally by Miko Branch with Titi Branch
This book is a must-read for aspiring entrepreneurs or for anyone that wants to get a wealth of knowledge on what it really means to build a business with no money or resources. In the book, the co-founder of Miss Jessie's Miko proves that success doesn't happen overnight and that when you do what you were destined to do, your achievements will fall right into place - even with the hiccups along the way.
5. The Power Playbook: Rules for Independence, Money and Success by La La Anthony
“What makes people powerful is finding your inner power, because so many people out there give themselves every reason in the world why they can't do something. You have this inner power within you that can take you to the next level. It's all about finding it." - La La Anthony
In her book, The Power Playbook, this radio and TV personality, actress, and business woman proves that with resilience, confidence, and perseverance success is attainable. Through her humble beginnings, La La has made a household name for her success by creating her own career that she loves and she teaches us her own keys to success.
6. Eat. Pray. Hustle.: Chasing Dreams God's Way by Havilah Cunnington
This book is very encouraging and inspirational, and it challenges you to think deeper and bigger in not only your career, but also in your personal and spiritual life. I think so often we get caught up in day to day living that we fail to see what we were destined to do by God. In this book turned 20 day Bible study inspired by the life of Abraham, Havilah teaches us to step out on faith and have the courage to do what we were created to do. Havilah shows us that just like Abraham, we are all on the road to the promise of life that God has for us. Similar to Abraham, we are all on the journey of eating, praying, and hustling our way to the top.
7. Be You and Live Civil: Tools for Unlocking Your Potential & Living Your Purpose by Karen Civil
"Understanding Motivation," “Self Motivation," “Positive Attitude," and “Living Civil" are chapters in the book by CEO and digital powerhouse Karen Civil that will teach you how to become your own best version of yourself. By discussing her own personal story and how she worked her way from the bottom to the top, Karen shows us all how to unlock our own potential and use it it the most effective way.
8. What I Know For Sure by Oprah Winfrey
Through her meaningful and inspirational stories, this book is perfect for someone that needs an extra boost of motivation and encouragement in their lives. "What I Know For Sure" is the name of Oprah's monthly column from her magazine, O. The idea for the column was inspired in 1998, after she was lost for words when asked 'what she knew for sure' in an interview. Through her series of essays in the book, Oprah drops gems like, "Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive" and a host of others.
9. Leave Your Mark: Land Your Dream Job. Kill It in Your Career. Rock Social Media. by Aliza Licht
Leave Your Mark is the perfect book for millennials that will help you find your personal brand and learn how to communicate it effectively so that you can land your dream job and be a badass at the same time. Listed on Amazon as one of the top-selling books for job hunting and career guides, Aliza's Leave Your Mark dishes out actionable advice with her own life experiences and stories.
10. #GirlBoss by Sophia Amoruso
As Sophia said it best in her book, “A #GIRLBOSS is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it." In her book, through hilarious and motivating stories and advice, Sophia teaches us how to become a #girlboss in our own space. As the founder of the vintage clothing company, Nasty Gal, Sophia shows how she turned her hobby into a successful company, while dishing out her blunt realities and experiences along the way.
11. Unbought and Unbossed by Shirley Chisholm
In this autobiography, Shirley Chisholm shares her life journey from a young girl from Brooklyn to being the first African-American woman elected to the United States Congress and the first woman and first African-American to have a bid for President of the United States.
Shirley lived a remarkable life and accomplished so much that would have appeared to be impossible during her life in the heart of racial discrimination and violence in the United States. Shirley's life and book will inspire you to never lose your conviction or put a price tag on your values and beliefs. Through her successes, Shirley proves that by standing up for what you believe in and daring to be yourself, you can achieve more than you ever dreamed.
What other inspirational books do you recommend for the modern girlboss? Share the knowledge with us below! #xoReads
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Brittani Hunter is a proud PVAMU alumni and the founder of The Mogul Millennial, a business and career platform for Black Millennials. Meet Brittani on Twitter and on the Gram at @BrittaniLHunter and @mogulmillennial.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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